


Call All the Ladies Out (We're On Each Other's Team)

by capnclarke (wherehopelies), wherehopelies



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sports, F/F, Fluff, Softball, Team Bonding, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 01:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 41,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16671991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wherehopelies/pseuds/capnclarke, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wherehopelies/pseuds/wherehopelies
Summary: After their big loss last year, Lexa wants to win a championship. Clarke just wants to love the game again. College Softball AU;Clexa and Ranya POVs. PS make sure you can view creator's skins or it will be not as fun for you to read.*please see notes before jumping into the story, thanks.





	1. Pre-Season

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I spent a lot of time writing this so I wanted to share what I have with you. However, I likely will not be finishing this. When I started writing this I was big into the fandom, but I fell away from it as so many have in the last few years. Maybe one day I will keep it going, but I figured some people might be interested in reading what I have so far anyway. Both chapters end pretty resolved so there's no cliffhangers or bad endings or anything. The plot would just continue into 3 more chapters, but the end of what I have is not a horrible place to stop even if you'll want more. Sorry, but I wanted to let you know in advance so you know what to expect. I just spent a lot of time on it back when I was writing it so I figured I'd post now because I wanted to use it to try making my own custom skin that works for the style. I hope you will still consider reading and commenting. Thank you all.

_It’s hot._

Her hair sticks to her neck and her sunglasses slip down her nose a centimeter. She’s sweating, but she doesn’t care. Her skin is still dark from a long summer of practicing several times a week and playing catch with Aden on the weekends, and she knows that even though she forgot to wear sunscreen today, she’s not going to burn.

She pulls her legs up to her chest and lets her arms drape over them. Her calves sport small indentations from the grass she’s sitting on. She inhales, breathing in the familiar and calming smells of dirt and dust and chalk and sunshine.

This is her happy place. Her place to think and focus. Her one place of complete and utter… peace.

“YO REYES!”

Lexa snaps her eyes open as her teammates start to crowd around her. Octavia and Raven are making their way across the outfield, a third girl, one of the new players, following just behind. Gina, Harper, and Monroe walk a few steps toward them and Gina grabs Raven in a headlock, causing Raven to let out a loud laugh.

A long shadow appears in her vision and Lexa shields her eyes with her hand to look up at the person towering over her.

“Good to see you’re still obsessed with being early.”

Lexa smiles a little at that. “Had to make sure the field survived the summer.” As if to prove her point, she runs her fingers over the grass.

Anya shakes her head fondly and eases down next to her. Their shoulders knock together lightly and Lexa feels the first moments of anticipation start to pump through her bloodstream. She loves the excitement of a new season, and she loves her team (mostly), and more than anything, she loves this game.

“Should be a good season,” Anya mutters absentmindedly, as if they hadn’t been texting about it all summer long, dissecting the effects of losing their graduated players and stewing over their defeat in the World Series last season. Lexa hums in acknowledgment. “You think the new catcher will be able to handle that crazy rise of yours?”

Lexa shoots Anya a glare, but then her eyes find one of the new players of their own accord. She’s only guessing, but she assumes the blonde who had walked over with Raven and Octavia is the new catcher. They, apparently, had played with her in high school, and her mom is an old friend of Kane’s. She had transferred from an irrelevant school up north in what the Grounders referred to as the Dead Zone because of their inability to produce a team that had been successful in at least a decade.

“It’s not that crazy,” Lexa eventually shoots back, but her mind is preoccupied. The new girl can’t be as horrible to work with as Ontari, but for someone who had transferred from the Dead Zone, Lexa can’t help but doubt. Especially if the girl’s mom is Kane’s old friend…

Lexa doesn’t like handouts. She worked hard to get to be as good as she is, and she’s still reeling from their loss last year.

“Okay, ladies, circle up!” Kane comes jogging out to the outfield, his coach’s bag slung over his shoulder. Indra, his assistant coach, saunters up behind him, much more stoic, and chomping on her gum with a ferocity that suggests she’d rather be anywhere than here.

Good thing they all know her better than that.

“I trust you all had a great summer?” Kane looks around as everyone huddles on the grass in small groups in front of him. “Octavia, staying out of trouble?”

Octavia smirks, using her middle finger to push her aviators further up her nose. Raven elbows her and they both laugh. “You know it, Coach.”

“Alright, wonderful!” Kane beams at them, completely oblivious to Octavia and Raven breaking down in silent giggles as he looks away. Lexa watches their new friend pull her legs up to her chest, arms crossed in front of them. Her eyes flicker over and meet Lexa’s, then immediately look away when they make eye contact.

Lexa focuses back on Kane.

 “As you all know, we’ve lost quite a few of our senior players after their graduation. Hopefully they are all finding success in the world outside of our esteemed institution!” Anya snorts, and Lexa frowns, feeling the loss of Costia pang in her chest. “However, we’ve recruited some new talents who I believe will, over the course of their time here, be able to cement their own place on our team and add to the legacy of our program.”

Kane goes on to introduce them and Lexa studies each of them as they state their names and positions, hoping that Kane is right. There are two new outfielders, Niylah and a girl who goes by Echo, as well as a freshman pitcher, Luna. And then there’s Costia’s replacement at catcher, just as Lexa thought, Raven and Octavia’s friend, Clarke.

Lexa watches her closest of all. If she’s going to be catching her, then Lexa needs someone who’s going to hold their own behind the plate. Someone who can handle her. She’s not obtuse; she knows she can be difficult to work with sometimes, but that’s because she knows her pitching style, what’s working and what’s not. She needs someone who can trust her, and who she can trust to work with her.

She guesses she’ll just have to see once they start practicing later in the week.

After Kane finishes introducing everyone and giving a speech about their goals for the year that takes about an hour longer than necessary, he has Indra hand out the practice and game schedules. Lexa glances briefly at the practice schedule before scanning the game schedule. Most of the usual suspects are there, so she’s not surprised when there, in March, they have a series against Wallace University.

Lexa grits her teeth. The Mountaineers had knocked them out in the quarter finals last year after an embarrassing combination of strikeouts and errors on the Grounders’ side, and finally finishing them off with a bomber of a grand slam in the top of the seventh that they could never recover from. The sound of the ball hitting the bat, the feeling that she had made a mistake as soon as the pitch left her hand, knowing it would be too high… a meatball… those things managed to scratch themselves under Lexa’s skin throughout the summer, a constant discomfort that she never quite manages to shake, even in her sleep.

Not this year, she vows. This year, they’re going to take home the whole thing.

She looks up as everyone starts standing up. Harper and Monroe are comparing schedules and pointing out notable games they’re excited for. Raven, Octavia, and Gina are talking about going out for brunch now that the meeting is over. Anya mutters something about asking Indra a question and meeting Lexa at home.

Lexa nods and pushes off the grass, thinking about how she should probably check to see which games are going to interfere with which of her classes.

“Hey, Lexa right?” Clarke appears in front of her suddenly and Lexa stares, not expecting anyone besides Anya to pull her aside, especially not any of the new girls. Lexa nods and Clarke sticks her hand out. “Cool. I’m Clarke.”

Lexa shakes her hand briefly. “Hello, Clarke.”

Clarke tucks a flyaway strand of blonde hair behind her ear, and Lexa follows the motion with her eyes. Up close, she notices Clarke is tan, probably from a summer outside at the pool or maybe hiking, if she’s into that.

“Umm, so I was just looking at this.” Clarke waves the practice schedule in the air. “And I noticed that there wasn’t a specified time for us to work together before the first practice. But I thought since I’ve never caught you before, we could meet up and maybe throw a little bit.” Clarke quirks an eyebrow and Lexa clears her throat.

“Yes, that would probably be beneficial.”

“Perfect!” Clarke smiles and Lexa feels herself softening, pleased. Clarke seems dedicated, and Lexa appreciates that. That doesn’t say anything about her effort or talent, but it’s a start.

“Yo, Griff! I’m hungry! Let’s go!”

Clarke looks over her shoulder at Raven and holds one finger up. Then she turns back to Lexa. “Here, give me your number and I’ll text you later so we can figure out a time.” She hands her phone over and Lexa puts her number in before giving the phone back to Clarke.

“Awesome. I’ll text you.” Lexa nods and Clarke smiles at her. “See you later.” She waves goodbye and catches up with Raven, Octavia, and Gina on their way up to the parking lot. Lexa follows slowly behind. When she gets to her car, her phone beeps with a message.

 **Unknown Number (11:22am):** Hey, this is Clarke. Now you have my number. Nice meeting you. Can’t wait for an awesome season!

Lexa saves the number in her phone, but doesn’t reply.

She doubts anyone will be able to fill Costia’s cleats. Certainly not some random girl from the Dead Zone who probably only made it on their team due to her connections.

She sighs and pushes the thought to the back of her mind. This is her year to win it all and she’s not going to let anything stop her.

//

Clarke can’t exactly remember the first time she knew she wanted to play softball.

But she does remember the first time she knew she didn’t want to stop playing.

Her dad had taught her to throw before she could remember. She was young when she started, having been in t-ball and neighborhood leagues since age four or five. Her dad signed her up to play on a competitive travel team when she was eight. Before though, he and her mom sat her down and talked with her seriously.

“Clarke,” her dad said, his voice as attentive and calm as it always was. “This team practices twice a week and plays every weekend. It’s a lot of work.”

“Okay,” she nodded, thinking that was the end of it.

He studied her, his face gentle and open in acceptance. “Do you want to do this? It’s okay if you don’t.”

And Clarke hadn’t considered it at all. Hadn’t considered that she could just _not_ play. She had always played.

Why would she want to stop?

“I want to play,” she said.

And she did.

//

She _does_ remember the first time she wanted to quit.

Oh… there had been _many_ times, when she was in a slump, or hated that she never had time to hang out with her school friends, or was up late after practice doing homework, when she thought _I should just quit_.

But she hadn’t meant it.

She liked being competitive, and she liked the feeling of the ball hitting the bat in just the right spot to send it in the gap, and she liked being part of a team.

Most of all, she liked the relationship it gave her with her dad.

She was thirteen when he died.

Suddenly he wasn’t there for her games, wasn’t there to drive her to practice, to cheer from the bleachers.

She hadn’t realized that the game was something they had done together. Or maybe she had, but she hadn’t appreciated it until he was gone.

And she almost quit.

But her mom accepted a position at a new hospital, and they moved to a new city, just as Clarke was set to start high school. She had no friends, no sense of home. She only had the game.

She showed up to the first day of tryouts, feeling a little lost and a lot sad. She had never missed her dad so much.

Her stomach squirmed as they went through stretching and warm-ups. Most of the girls around her seemed to know each other already, either from previous years or from summer teams or junior high. When it was time to get their arms loose, Clarke looked around, seeing there was an odd number.

Everyone had already paired up.

She had one moment of panic, but then a girl with her hair in braids jogged past her after getting a ball from the bucket. “Hey, you wanna throw three-way with me and Raven?” Clarke followed the girl’s gaze to another girl standing a little bit away, hand on her hip, glove tucked under her arm.

“Yeah,” Clarke smiled gratefully. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” the girl smiled back. “I’m Octavia, by the way.”

Clarke followed her until they were across from the other girl. “Clarke.”

“Raven, this is Clarke, she’s gonna throw with us.”

Raven gave them a thumbs up. “Alright, let’s do it then.”

And so they started throwing, and talking, and Clarke learned that Raven and Octavia were middle infielders and had been playing on the same team together since they were seven. They were freshmen just like her. And they were best friends.

“What position do you play?” Octavia asked her as Clarke snapped the ball Raven’s way.

“Mostly catcher, but sometimes first.”

“Cool.” Octavia stuck her glove in the air as Raven’s throw soared a little high.

“Whoops, sorry, O!” Raven called.

Octavia just grinned. “Snow-coned it!” She threw it back Raven’s direction. “Catcher, huh? Well maybe we can catch a few people stealing when I’m at short.”

“Yeah,” Clarke smiled back as they finished up throwing and were having a drink of water. “If we make the team.”

Raven smirked confidently. “I think we’ll make it.”

And they did.

//

She didn’t realize it then, but Raven and Octavia kept her sane during high school, when she was missing her dad and when her mom was working late at the hospital.

They became her best friends. Long bus rides to away games sharing headphones, movie nights on the weekends. When it seemed like Clarke was falling, like she was spinning out of orbit, they acted as the tethers keeping her from drifting away completely.

She’s been thinking about that time a lot recently.

Ever since she went to college, really. When Raven and Octavia were recruited by University of Polis, and Clarke went to Ark State, she thought she’d be fine. But she hated it up north. She hated the weather, and she hated being away from her friends, and even worse, she hated playing ball.

She started to wonder if the only reason she kept playing all those years was because of the people around her. Did she only play because of her dad? Did she only play because she liked playing with Raven and Octavia?

It didn’t help, though, that her new coach was completely awful. Coach Pike was a yeller, choosing more often than not only to acknowledge his player’s mistakes and not their successes. He was strict, and a hard ass, and Clarke disagreed with his approach on almost everything.

There were times though, when she felt the pull of the game making her happy. When she caught a particularly good game, or batted well. When her instinct took over and she knew someone was going to steal before the pitch, allowing her to call the pitch out and gun them down at second.

Still, she almost quit. But when Kane called her, her mom’s old friend and like an uncle to Clarke, offering her a spot on the team, she second guessed herself again.

 _Okay_ , she thought. _If I hate it after this year, then I’ll quit. But I’m going to give it one more chance._

And she did.

//

“What was that about?” Raven asks Clarke as she finally catches up to them in the parking lot.

Clarke hums, sliding into backseat of Gina’s car next to Octavia. “What was what about?”

Raven looks back at her from the front. “You and Lexa?”

“Oh.” Clarke shrugs. “I thought she could pitch to me before practices start. So I can get used to catching her.”

To say that she wasn’t the type to get nervous before things would be a stretch. Clarke is confident, but she also worries, over analyzing things to the point of stress.

She was definitely nervous about catching Lexa. Nicknamed ‘The Commander’ by her teammates, she had a reputation. Although Clarke had never faced her, she hadn’t escaped the stats or the scouting reports around the softball circuit. Lexa’s pitches had a lot of spin, and although her rise ball was kind of wild, it packed a lot of punch.  She was a great pitcher, luring batters to swing at balls out of the zone and ground out often.

It’s not that Clarke didn’t think she could handle her, but she knew she had a lot to prove, both to her teammates and herself. She didn’t want to let the team down, and she knew that if she sucked it up, this would be her last year.

She was tired of this game saving her just to break her heart again.

“I’m sure you can handle her,” Octavia assures her.

Raven snorts. “Ontari couldn’t.”

“Ontari’s a dick.”

“Still,” Raven says, but she and Octavia share a laugh.

Clarke tries to think back. “Which one is she?”

“Dark hair,” Gina says, glancing back in the rearview. “The one who’s constantly being a shit head.”

“Oh.” Clarke nods. She hasn’t really met most of the team yet, but Gina seems nice. “You guys don’t invite the rest of them to brunch?” She may have hated playing back at Ark State, but she will miss her teammates. They always hung out outside of games and practices.

“We’ve invited most of them, Griff,” Raven shrugs, her fingers fiddling with Gina’s music plugged into the AUX. “Harper and Monroe had plans with Jasper and Monty already, Anya was still moving her shit back from the summer, and we stopped inviting Lexa ages ago. She never comes.”

“Okay, but she has a good reason,” Gina says. “Anya said she’s always babysitting.”

Clarke frowns when Octavia backs Gina up with a nod. “Which one is Anya?”

“She plays first,” Raven replies. “Bats like Babe Ruth himself come back from the dead.”

Octavia snorts. “Raven has a thing for her.”

“Fuck off, O!” Raven grins. “She’s hot, okay, but I’m seriously just saying she’s a great player.”

“Sure, and that’s why you’re always staring at her ass in the field.”

Octavia laughs and lifts her arms to shield herself as Raven turns around and starts whacking at her.

“Hey! No roughhousing in my car!” Gina parks at the restaurant and turns the car off before swatting at Raven’s shoulder. “Not after the snake incident!”

“The what?” Clarke asks at the same time that Raven and Octavia proclaim “All hail King Salazar! May He rest in peace!”

Clarke has no idea what they’re talking about, but when they get out of the car and Raven mimes fainting into Octavia’s arms, she kind of thinks she probably doesn’t want to know.

//

Lexa taps on her phone, typing out the message she’s been constructing in her head for the past five minutes just as she hears the ringing of the school bell outside her car. She looks up, eyes searching the sudden crowd of adolescent bodies making a mass exodus from the building she’s parked in front of for a familiar mop of blonde hair.

When she spots who she’s looking for, she can’t help but smile.

He’s walking slowly toward the parked car line, talking animatedly with a young girl who seems to be listening intently to what he’s saying. As Lexa watches, he says something and the girl smiles before they wave goodbye and he approaches the car.

He sighs as he gets in and she waits until he looks at her to say anything.

“Hello, Aden.”

“Hi.” He throws his backpack in the back and buckles up before slouching down in his seat.

“How was your first day of school?”

He just shrugs. “I dunno. Boring.”

She feels the corners of her lips pull up. “I hope you’re taking your classes seriously this year.”

“I am,” he sighs. “But that doesn’t mean they’re not boring.”

She smiles slightly, and finishes typing out the text she’d been composing before he arrived. She hits send and puts the car in drive before pulling away from the curb.

“Who are you texting?” He asks, eyeing the phone she’d dropped into the cup holder between them. “Is it Anya? Can you ask her if she wants to play Halo later? She wasn’t responding to my texts at lunch for some reason.”

“It wasn’t Anya,” she says, keeping her eyes on the road as she switches lanes.

He stares at her. “Who was it?”

“You’re the nosiest kid I’ve ever met.”

“Well, you never text anyone but Anya. I’m not nosy, I’m… er.” He scrunches his nose in thought. “Observational.”

“Observant.” She quirks an eyebrow. “And is that what the kids are calling being nosy these days?” He doesn’t say anything and she flicks her eyes over to see him staring at her before she focuses back on the road. “It was just a new girl on the team. She wants to meet up to practice.”

“You guys practice all the time. Why does she want to meet up?”

Lexa shrugs. “She’s new. And she’s going to be catching me. She just wants to get to know each other.”

“Oh,” he hums. “Is she nice?”

“I don’t know.”

“What’s her name?”

“Clarke.”

“Clarke,” he repeats. “Is she studying politics, too?”

“Political science,” she reminds him.

“Is she studying political science, too?”

She bites her lip, holding back a small laugh. “You have so many questions.”

“I’m just asking.”

She shakes her head fondly as they pull up to their destination. She puts the car in park and turns to him. “I just met her, but she seems nice enough. And I don’t know what she’s studying but I will ask her when we meet up tomorrow, just for you.”

“Is she cute?”

“Aden!”

“I’m just asking!”

She sighs and presses the button to unlock his car door. “I am not answering that.”

“She probably is then.”

“Look you don’t see me interrogating you about that girl you were walking with.” His eyes go wide and she almost laughs. Almost. Instead she puts her hand on his shoulder lightly. “Okay, now if we are done asking so many questions, you know the drill.”

He rolls his eyes but nods. “Homework, then dinner, _then_ video games.”

She squeezes his shoulder. “I’ll be back in an hour, I’m just going to get some groceries.”

Aden climbs out of the car and grabs his backpack from the backseat. “Can you get those cookies again?” He looks at her with wide, hopeful eyes and she bites back her smile.

“Maybe.” She’s going to get them and he knows it so he just smiles and waves at her before walking up the driveway and into the house.

She doesn’t drive away until the front door closes behind him.

//

“DIE ANYA DIE!”

“Yeah right tiny nerd, eat lead.”

The door shuts behind Lexa, her hands full of groceries, and she sighs at the sight of Anya and Aden on the couch, their hands tightly wrapped around Xbox controllers.

“HA take that, you amateur.”

“Amateur? You’re like twelve.”

“I’m thirteen.”

“Yeah, thirteen and – shit shit shit. Eat my – Thirteen and… HA! DEAD!” Anya lifts her arms in the air in victory and Aden groans, the controller slipping from his hands to the floor as he slumps back into the cushions.

Lexa maneuvers around the coffee table and into the kitchen with the groceries. “Aden, what about our deal?”

He looks over the back of the couch at her. “It’s the first day! We didn’t have homework yet. I just need you to sign my syllabus and my science permission form.”

“Permission form?”

“Yep,” Aden says, leaving the couch and scampering into the kitchen. “We’re doing experiments. Oh and I also need to bring in ten dollars so I can have a pair of safety goggles. Mrs. Ingraham says all real scientists need safety goggles so you don’t burn your eyeballs off.”

Lexa feels her own eyes widen at the thought, but Aden doesn’t seem bothered by it, his hands digging into the grocery bags on the counter. “Did you get the cookies, Lex?”

“Ooh, yeah did you get the cookies, Lex?” Anya pops up behind Aden, looking into the bags.

Lexa smirks. “Cough up money for your groceries and maybe I’ll let you have one before Jackson releases the nutrition guidelines for the season.”

Anya shoots her a sneer. “Ha. Ha.”

“Ooh, I found them!” Aden pulls out the cookie sleeve and Lexa quickly snatches it from his hands.

“Not before dinner.”

“But! Nooo. Please, Lex?” He pouts out his lower lip.

Anya grins at her. “Yeah, please, Lex?”

“Do not enable him, Anya.” They both just stare at her and she sighs before opening the package and handing Aden a chocolate chip cookie. “Okay that’s it, though. Now let me see that permission form.”

Aden smiles at her and scampers off with his cookie, his socks sliding across the hardwood of the hallway before he twists himself around the banister and shoots up the stairs.

Anya pulls a cookie out of the package with a smirk. “See? Now he thinks you’re a super star.”

Lexa rolls her eyes. “If my father were here, he would not be pleased.”

“Well he’s not here, is he?” Anya nudges her. “It’s not going to kill Aden to have a few cookies.”

Lexa smiles slightly, batting Anya’s elbow away. “You’re a bad influence on him.”

“Please, he missed me so much over the summer.”

Lexa snorts. “Yes, because you sneak him into R rated movies and buy him endless junk food.”

Anya beams widely. “Yeah, because I’m the fucking coolest.”

Lexa decides to ignore that. “That reminds me, can you watch him for a couple hours on Sunday?”

“A couple of hours? Where are you going to be?”

Lexa takes the milk out of the bag and puts it in the fridge. “Clarke thinks it would be prudent to pitch before practices start.”

Anya snorts. “Clarke does?”

“Yes,” Lexa says, continuing to put away some things in the fridge.

“Okay.” Skepticism drips from Anya’s voice and Lexa turns around, her lips thinning.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Anya replies, her eyebrows lifting innocently. “Are you sure _you_ didn’t strong-arm her into a non-mandatory practice.”

Lexa narrows her eyes. “She asked me.”

“Huh.” Anya smirks and Lexa rolls her eyes, deciding she’s had enough of this.

“If you have something to say, just say it. You know I hate these games.”

Anya laughs to herself and grabs another cookie. Lexa swats at her and sets the cookies up in the cupboard. “Maybe she’s a perfect match for you after all. Thought years of friendship with the Terror Twins would’ve put her on their wavelength.”

Lexa shakes her head at that. “Raven and Octavia may not take many things seriously, but they’re hard workers.” She grins a little. “And you like them. I don’t know why you insist on calling them that.”

Anya bites into her cookie with a smile, her back leaning against the counter while she watches Lexa finish putting the groceries away. “Just because I like them doesn’t mean they’re not the biggest pains in my ass.”

Lexa hums in agreement as Aden bounds back into the kitchen. He practically shoves his homework folder at her and begins to ramble on about the experiments his science teacher had promised them they’d be conducting over the semester.

She’s content to listen, smiling as he and Anya squabble about things here and there. Outside, the summer sun begins to sink, and Lexa feels warm and at home.

//

Clarke arrives at the field five minutes earlier than she and Lexa had agreed to meet, carrying a latte in one hand and her equipment bag over her shoulder. She’s sporting the tiniest remnants of a hangover from a night spent partying with Raven, Octavia, and their large group of friends.

Lexa’s already there, sitting in the outfield and going through some static stretches. Clarke’s eyes follow the long expanse of her legs in the grass as she reaches an arm down to grab her foot.

Lexa looks up as she approaches and her eyes linger on the coffee in Clarke’s hand, but she doesn’t say anything about it.

“Morning,” Clarke manages to smile despite the fact that she has yet to interact with anybody but her barista, having left Raven and Octavia still asleep in their beds and enjoying their last official day of summer vacation.

“It’s 2pm.” Lexa raises an eyebrow skeptically.

“Well.” Clarke rolls her eyes at herself. “Good afternoon then. Summer always messes with my sleep schedule.”

Lexa tilts her head to the side thoughtfully. “I always end up waking up earlier in the summer. The mornings are so peaceful.”

“Really? Honestly, if anyone can drag me out of bed before noon any day of the year then they’re a saint.” She starts sliding off her shoes and putting her cleats on. “Willingly I mean. When we don’t have practice or class.”

Lexa hums in acknowledgement while Clarke starts to stretch. They continue mostly in silence for a few minutes, which might be awkward, but Clarke’s just finishing her coffee, so she’s grateful for the time to wake up a little more.

After they finish stretching, Clarke puts her shin guards on and brings the rest of her equipment over to the bullpen. Lexa grabs a few balls and they start warming up their arms while Lexa goes over her pitches.

Clarke just listens as she describes the difference in spin for her two off-speed pitches and all the grips she uses. Clarke thinks Lexa is very thorough about it all. She never learned the grips for her other pitchers, but she guesses Lexa just wants to be the best they can be together. She’s kind of grateful. She wants that for them, too.

Lexa finishes warming up so Clarke puts the rest of her gear on. She inhales deeply after pulling her helmet down over her head. It smells like dirt and she scrunches her nose. Then she slides her hand into her mitt. There’s something she’s always found comforting about the way it molds to her palm.

“I’m going to start with the fastball,” Lexa calls from the mound and Clarke nods before getting into her squat.

Lexa’s fastball is strong, but nothing special. Clarke doesn’t have an issue with it and Lexa throws that for a bit before she switches to her drop ball, and then off-speed pitches. They’re consistently in the zone, or just outside of it, and Clarke doesn’t really have to chase any or dig any out of the dirt.

Then comes the infamous rise ball. The report on it was that it consistently came in at 72 miles per hour and spinning too quick to see the laces. When it left Lexa’s hand, the ball seemed to be chest height, a perfect meatball, but by the time it crossed the plate, batters would be swinging at a ball at their chin, frustrated and making contact with only air.

It nestles in the pocket of Clarke’s mitt with a resounding _thwap_ and she tosses it back, certain that it’s obvious she’s impressed even with her face mostly hidden by her mask.

She can see why the pitch would be difficult to hit. The ball has a lot of upward movement, but when she knows it’s coming it’s not very hard to catch.

Lexa throws that for a few minutes before moving on to her other pitches. They finish up with a few more fastballs that leave Clarke feeling confident that they have the potential to be a pretty good pair.

“Good practice,” she says to Lexa as she tosses her glove and mask on top of her bag and starts taking off her chest protector.

“Thanks.” Lexa smiles at her slightly in between sips of water. “You too.”

“Are you ready for classes to start?”

Lexa nods, watching Clarke unclip the straps of her shin guards. “I think so. Are you?”

Clarke laughs a little. “I mean as ready as I will be. With class and practice starting, I’m sure the feeling of getting a good night’s sleep will have become a distant memory by this time next week.”

Lexa tilts her head to the side. “What are you studying?”

“Integrated Physiology with a minor in Art.”  

Lexa hums. “Pre-med?”

“Yep.” Clarke rolls her eyes, but smiles anyway. “How about you?”

“Political science.”

“Ah,” Clarke grins. “I can see it now. ‘Mr. Average Joe Goes to Washington’, Lexa Woods style.” Lexa shakes her head and takes another sip of her water. Clarke thinks she might be hiding a smile. She cups her hand like she’s holding out a tape recorder. “So tell me, Senator Woods, how do you plan to attack government corruption? They say the average American is a two-issue voter, so what’s the focus of your policy plans? Economics? Health? Human rights? The American people want to know!”

 Lexa taps her chin, pretending to think about it. “Well, my first state of business…” She pauses and tosses Clarke her empty water bottle. “Is to win the World Series.”

Clarke rolls her eyes and drops the bottle in her bag with the two hundred other empty water bottles that have taken up residence at the bottom. “Well, yeah, okay, but after that? Don’t you have some plans for after graduation?”

“Of course,” Lexa says. “But softball and school are my priority right now. I’ll start thinking about what comes next when there’s a championship banner hanging on that outfield fence.”

“Hmm.” Clarke smirks a little. “While they appreciate your dedication, I’m not sure the American people are going to back those policies, Ms. Woods. Re-election might be harder than you anticipated.”

Lexa picks up her bag and shakes her head, her lips quirking upward the slightest amount. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Clarke.”

Clarke pouts when Lexa starts walking off, but then she shakes it off. They have the whole year to become friends, right? “See you tomorrow, Senator!”

Lexa turns around when she gets to the dugout. “It’s _Mr. Smith Goes to Washington_ by the way. Not Mr. Average Joe.”

Clarke grins. “Yeah, I know.”

Lexa shoots her a strange look, like she’s seeing Clarke for the first time, all thin lips and wide eyes.

Then she’s gone.

//

Raven and Octavia are on her as soon as she gets in the door.

“How’d it go?” Octavia asks from her left.

“Was it awkward?” Raven pops up from the couch where she’s sitting.

“Was she a hardass?”

“Did you miss the rise ball?”

“Did she show you her sword collection?”

Clarke whips her head around. “Her _what_?”

Raven snorts and hops over the back of the couch to stand in front of her. “Octavia thinks Lexa is hiding something ominous in her house like a giant sword collection.”

“It’s not about her _house_ , it’s just that she looks like she has a sword collection!” Octavia explains. “It’s just _in her house_ because we’ve never been there and where _else_ would you keep a sword collection?”

Clarke crinkles her nose. “You guys are so weird sometimes.” She moves to push past them and get a snack, but they’re standing in her way. “What is up with you guys right now?”

“We want the hot deets, Griffin!” Raven crosses her arms and Octavia mirrors her.

“ _What_ hot deets?”

Octavia sighs. “Lexa isn’t the most… open person…” Raven nods to back her up. “We just want to know what she’s like one-on-one.”

Clarke gives them a look. “You mean you’ve never hung out with your own teammate?”

“We told you already,” Raven says. “We’ve asked her but she never comes!”

“Ontari catches her sometimes but she and Lexa don’t _talk_ to each other. She only talks to Anya, and to Costia before she graduated. Costia was a senior and we could’ve asked her, but I think she thought we were annoying,” Octavia says easily, like it doesn’t bother her. Clarke thinks it probably doesn’t.

“Yeah, and we can’t ask Anya, they live together,” Raven adds.

Octavia snorts. “Or because she intimidates the shit out of you.”

Raven scoffs. “So what is your angle here, do I have crush on her, am I scared of her? Will you pick a story?”

“Why not both?”

Raven moves like she’s going to grab Octavia in a headlock and Octavia bends like she’s going to tackle in self-defense and Clarke isn’t about to get stuck in one of their daily bonehead wrestling matches so she steps in between them.

“Okay, stop, I’ll tell you the deets!”

They both freeze and look at her expectantly. “Well?” they ask at the same time, then grin and high five each other.

Clarke rolls her eyes. “Well, there’s nothing to say really. She was nice enough? She pitched. I caught. We talked about school. We went home. The end.”

“That’s it?” Raven lolls her head back in exasperation.

“I don’t know what you were expecting.”

Raven throws her hands in the air. “To unwrap the enigma that is Lexa Woods!”

“Why don’t you just try talking to her?” Clarke doesn’t think this is a hard concept to grasp.

“She doesn’t even say anything in the group chat, what am I supposed to talk about with her?”

Clarke pauses. “There’s a team group chat?”

“Yep,” Octavia nods. “Wait did you have trouble catching her rise?”

Clarke shakes her head, finally moving around them to the kitchen to get some food before she heads to her room. “No, why?”

“Ontari tipped it off her glove like forty percent of the time. Drove Lexa nuts.” Raven slumps back on the couch where she’d been before Clarke arrived.

“Huh.” Clarke shrugs and looks inside the fridge. “Well, it has a lot of movement, but it wasn’t a problem.” She grabs an apple. “I’m going to nap.”

“I’ll be here doing nothing, wondering about the mystery that is Lexa Woods,” Raven sighs dramatically from the couch.

Clarke snorts as she opens her bedroom door just off the family room. “Oh,” she calls back. “Add me to that group chat!”

“NO!” They yell at the same time.

Clarke rolls her eyes when she hears them high five. She has a feeling it’s going to be a long year.

//

**R-Money added Snark Griffin to the chat PUS**

**Anyaaaassss**

Nice

**Gina Boobeena**

Hey Clarke!

**Monroe**

Sup Clarke

**Anyaaaassss**

Tf Raven why am I still in here as anyaaaassss

**R-Money**

Because you know changing it now will throw the chat off-balance

**HARPER**

Hi Clarke!!!

**Anyaaaassss**

That is not a thing I know actually

**Snark Griffin**

Why is the chat named PUS…

**Ontari**

Because we’re Polis Univ Softball genius

**R-Money**

stfu ontari

**Ontari**

fuck u raven

**Monroe**

lol pus

**O changed the chat name to BALL BUSTERS**

**HARPER**

lol

**Anyaaaassss**

really?

**Ontari**

Monroe is ogling the shit out of this lady barista rn so I’m gonna say ball busters is a no

**Monroe**

tf I am not the only gay on this team

**O**

lmao sorry anya

**Anyaaaassss**

and lexa

**R-Money**

(Ghost )

**Snark Griffin**

Octavia forgot some of us hit from both sides of plate

**R-Money**

Yeah O wtf don’t forget us bisexuals

**Ontari**

in your case it’s bye-sexual

**R-Money removed Ontari from the chat**

**Anyaaaassss**

nice

**Gina Boobeena added Ontari to the chat**

**Ontari**

just kidding you animals

**O**

Chill out my dudes

**Ontari**

Hey Gina have you banged O’s brother yet

**O removed Ontari from the chat**

**Anyaaaassss**

nice

**Snark Griffin**

Is it always like this

**HARPER**

ontari usually gets kicked out more often

**Snark Griffin**

MORE often????

**Gina Boobeena added Ontari to the chat**

**Ontari**

(Victory Hand ) haters

//

The first week passes quickly for Lexa.

Her classes seem manageable and even interesting for the most part. It’s her senior year, but due to good planning, she’d taken almost all of her required classes the previous years, so she mostly has electives except for a senior seminar. She is especially looking forward to her Globalization class.

Besides class, everything looks the same as the previous years.

They’ve started practice a few times a week, at least through October while the weather is still nice enough to practice outdoors. They have weights or speed training in the morning and practice on the field in the afternoon after class.

She picks Aden up from school between her last class and before their practice starts. She makes sure he does his homework and eats dinner before she has to go, leaving him to play his Xbox until she returns, sweaty, tired, and thinking about all the reading she still has to do before bed.

She’s used to the routine by now, not even having it in her to be overwhelmed by it all anymore. She has to stay focused this year, has to make sure her pitching is the best it’s ever been so they can take home that trophy in June.

She knows they have a chance, which makes her more determined to be performing at her very best.

One thing she’s grateful for is that Clarke does seem to be a talented and hard-working catcher. Lexa wasn’t sure that first day, when Clarke showed up to practice with a coffee in hand instead of water and looking like she’d just crawled out of bed.

But so far she has no complaints about her new teammate. In fact, Clarke intrigues Lexa a little.

It’s clear that she’s close with Raven and Octavia. She’s always laughing with them during warm-ups and Lexa heard they’d moved from their two-bedroom apartment into a three-bedroom so that Clarke could live with them.

Lexa likes Raven and Octavia for the most part. The two of them have a chemistry together that put the Grounders in the lead for the most double plays in the league last season, but she’s not going to pretend that Anya’s nickname for them doesn’t hold some truth. The Terror Twins are quite the duo, always laughing and pulling pranks during practice and off the field. She knows they’re serious about winning, but sometimes they don’t act like it.

On the other hand, Lexa thinks, Clarke flips it on and off like a switch. One minute she’ll be stretching with them, laughing and teasing Raven, and the next, she’ll be staring at Lexa from behind her mask with an intensity that chips away at something within her, like the pushing of a button, urging her to focus and be better.

Lexa thinks she isn’t the only one who feels that way. After just one week of practice, it’s clear that the team is more than willing to listen to what she has to say. She has a commanding presence behind the plate, talkative and confident. She’s not shy and she seems to be making friends with her teammates as easily as lacing up her cleats or hitting off the tee, like it’s something that’s come natural to her for her entire life.

For her part, Lexa doesn’t know what to think. She’d accepted Clarke’s friend request on Facebook even though she rarely posts anything, and had scrolled through Clarke’s Instagram pictures when Anya mentioned that Clarke had followed her. Clarke had no trouble participating in the group chat, which Lexa follows, but almost never speaks in.

She likes her team, but she’s always felt a disconnect. Mostly because in previous years, Aden had been too young to leave home alone so she rarely hung out when they weren’t practicing, set to stay at home and help him with homework or watch movies on the couch.

Part of her yearned to bridge some of the distance between her and the team, but the other part of her felt like she was always standing in the middle of a large party where everyone knew the dance to a song she had never heard before.

To her credit, Clarke had come in and learned the dance in one day and, at least in Lexa’s opinion, quickly became the best dancer in the room.

Lexa still wasn’t sure she could learn the dance, but that didn’t stop her from watching. In fact, as hard as she tried, she couldn’t look away.

//

Their first scrimmage comes before she knows it.

She knows these preseason games are just a way to measure where they stand and what they need to work on, but Lexa still finds herself fixating on them.

Anya reminds her that their first real game isn’t until February, and their first conference game not until March, and she knows that. But champions are always at their best, not just when it counts.

The games are a double-header on a Saturday in mid-September. Kane has Luna pitching first the game and Lexa second, so she spends the first game at the end of the dugout, watching her team get back into the rhythm of playing. She can’t pitch every game, and she uses her games on the bench to watch her teammates. It’s always an interesting perspective to her, to sit back and observe how they play, watch the things she never sees when they’re behind her.

She notices how Gina pounds her mitt and how Octavia flashes the amount of outs on her fingers to the outfielders between every pitch. How Raven and Anya have a little handshake that she never catches the end of when she’s on the mound. How Monroe chomps on her gum in the outfield in between outs.

Lexa uses the games she isn’t pitching to better get to know her teammates. She likes watching them, silently urging them on from inside the dugout.

Clarke is also on the bench for the first game, Kane having pulled Ontari up from left field to catch Luna. Clarke leans her elbows on the dugout rail next to Kane and Indra, just hovering near them. Occasionally she yells something encouraging to the team when they get an out. She’s constantly chattering nonsense to Luna and reminding everyone of how many outs there are.

Lexa doubts they hear her. She never hears anyone from the dugout when she’s pitching, focused too intently on what’s happening on the field. But before long, she’s stopped watching the activity happening outside the dugout and starts paying attention to what’s happening in it. By the second inning, Clarke has the other subs cheering and clapping. She even has Kane laughing once in a while, teasing him about the embroidering on his visor.

It makes Lexa smile slightly, hovering on the edge of Clarke’s circle of openness, of playfulness, of support.

If she watches long enough, she wonders if it will expand to include her, too.

//

**PRE SEASON GAME 2 LINEUP**

  1.       Octavia – SS
  2.       Raven – 2B
  3.       Clarke – C
  4.       Anya – 1B
  5.       Lexa – P
  6.       Ontari – LF
  7.       Gina – 3B
  8.       Harper – RF
  9.       Monroe – CF



//

Clarke exhales, shifting her weight onto her toes in her crouch.

Above her, the batter tightens their grip on her bat, and Clarke blurs it out, focusing on Lexa’s hip where the ball leaves her hand.

To Clarke, the ball seems giant, but when the batter swings, all she gets is air. The ball lands solidly in her glove and she grins. Behind her, the deep voice of the umpire yells “BALL GAME!”

The people in the stands clap and “Another One Bites the Dust” booms from the sound system while they run off the field.

If it wasn’t their first game, Clarke would’ve dubbed it as boring. They got up on the other team early in the fourth inning and that was about all the action throughout the game. They took home both games with a win, and Clarke feels satisfied and content.

They shake hands with the other team and listen while Kane does his post-game meeting. After, everyone starts cleaning up the field and packing up their stuff, and there’s talk of a party at Harper and Monroe’s place.

Clarke is just happy to listen and take off her gear.

“Hey,” a quiet voice says next to her, and she looks up to see Lexa standing there, her bag on her shoulder.

“Hey,” Clarke chirps back, feeling a smile at her lips.

Lexa returns the smile, warm and slightly bashful. “I just wanted to say good game.”

“Thanks,” Clarke says. “You too.” She jerks her head in the direction of the rest of the team who are still chatting away. “Are you going to Monroe and Harper’s tonight?”

Lexa shakes her head. “No, not tonight.”

“But it’s Saturday.” Clarke nudges her playfully. “Come on.”

“Not tonight,” Lexa repeats. Then she hesitates. “Maybe next time, though.”

Clarke studies her thoughtfully, admiring the confidence in Lexa’s stance and the easy way she holds her bag on her shoulder. Her green eyes shine brightly in contrast to the eye black she wears in streaks on her cheeks, now smudged from sweat and dirt.

“Okay,” Clarke says, her voice coming out soft. “Well, we’ll miss you.” Lexa smiles at that, tilting her head to the side like she doesn’t believe her and Clarke rolls her eyes at nothing in particular. “Well, I’ll miss you at least.”

“I’ll see you on Monday, Clarke.”

“See you Monday.” Clarke waves, watching Lexa head away from the field and toward the parking lot.

Clarke doesn’t know why, but despite their win, something like disappointment seeps into her stomach.

//

Clarke spends the next day in bed, contemplating doing her reading for class, but she isn’t feeling it.

She keeps her door closed, not wanting to be bothered by Raven and Octavia, but thankfully they don’t even knock. They all feel tired from their night at ‘House Harpoe’, as Octavia fondly calls it. Clarke isn’t painfully hungover, just sluggish and slow. The party featured beer pong and Octavia’s brother Bellamy, and Clarke plus those two aren’t usually a good combo for staying sober.

Drunk Clarke had definitely come out to play, and she’s feeling the effects of that this morning. Thankfully she doesn’t regret anything, but around 11:30 she did almost call Lexa to tell her she should come, but Anya snatched her phone and pushed her in the direction of some water so that never happened.

Even sober, she has the urge to text Lexa now. She doesn’t know what she’d text her, or even why she wants to, but it’s a pull in her chest that tells her she needs to make Lexa feel included, needs to understand her, needs to make a connection with her.

Lexa plays such an important role on their team. Clarke doesn’t get why she’s so distant. She really wants to get to know her.

This is what she thinks about most of the day instead of doing her homework.

Needless to say, by the time Monday rolls around, she has double the reading, an essay due, and a monster of a migraine.

//

 **Clarke (3:22pm):** Hey have you ever been in the athletic study room in the library

 **Lexa (4:02pm):** Hello. Yes, a few times my freshman year, but since then, I have made a habit of studying at home. Why?

 **Clarke (4:04pm):** No reason just wondering if I should study in there

 **Lexa (4:07pm):** I think Raven likes to do her homework in there.

 **Clarke (4:09pm):** Yeah, she does

 **Lexa (4:11pm):** Were you planning on studying now? Don’t forget we have practice at five.

 **Clarke (4:12pm):** Yeah I know, was just wondering about it. See you at practice!

 **Lexa (4:14pm):** Yes. See you soon.

//

Their next couple of games don’t go as well as their first two. They win two and lose two, but Lexa thinks they were good games, and she doesn’t fault the team.

It’s difficult to win every game, especially so early in the season, and they didn’t play horribly. The other team just had some timely hits, and the Grounders left a lot of runners on base.

After their second loss, Lexa notes a definite decline in morale among her teammates, particularly Ontari and Raven. Raven hasn’t been hitting well and Ontari made an error out in left field that didn’t necessarily cost them the game, but it could have. She knows they all take their own personal mistakes hard, but she can’t help but be disappointed in their attitudes when Ontari leaves the field without saying goodbye and Raven slams her helmet down harder than necessary.

She doesn’t say anything though. Best to let them stew. They’ll move on by the next practice.

They only have one set of games left before winter, a double-header just before Halloween.  Then they have the entire off-season to work on the fundamentals.

Lexa isn’t worried, yet. It’s still early. Everything will come together.

It has to.

//

“LEXA?!”

She drops her bag just inside the door when she hears Aden yelling for her and she hustles up the stairs to his room, her heart beating out of her chest and her mind imagining the worst.

“Aden?” She practically bursts through the doorway, but he’s sitting on his bed with a book in his hands, apparently fine. He looks up when she enters. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh, yeah,” he nods. “I just wanted to know what was for dinner now that you’re home.”

She sighs, but feels herself fighting off a smile. “Don’t yell like that, I thought something was wrong.”

“Well, the Nats aren’t in post-season so _some things_ are wrong, but nothing in my room at this moment.” He grins at her and she flicks him in the forehead. “Ouch, stop!” He swats her fingers away with a laugh.

“What do you want for dinner?” She asks him while she picks up one of his sweatshirts from the floor and flings it over a chair.

“Grilled cheese.”

She smiles fondly through an eye roll. “You always want grilled cheese.”

“Please?” He gives her his most innocent grin.

“Fine,” she gives in. “If you clean your room.”

“Okay. I will tomorrow.”

“Aden.”

He pouts. “Tomorrow morning?” She points at him and he holds his hands up. “Fine, I’ll do it right now.” He lays his book upside down on his bed, cracked open to save his place. “Hey, Lex,” he asks as she’s about to leave.

“Yeah?”

“Do you know what’s going on with Anya?”

She blinks in surprise, head tilting to the side curiously. “Nothing, I don’t think. Why, what’s wrong?”

He shrugs, kicking his shoes under his desk. She gives him a look and he straightens them out neatly. “She just hasn’t been around as much lately. I miss playing video games with her.”

“Hmm,” she hums. She guesses she’s noticed Anya hasn’t been at home as much, but they’re all busy now that school started. “I can talk to her if you want.”

“Nah, that’s okay.” Aden shakes his head. “She probably just has a lot of homework. I know you guys get really busy.”

Lexa frowns as Aden throws a t-shirt in his hamper. Her eyes zero in on the book on his bed, a copy of one of the Percy Jackson books that Anya had gotten him for his birthday last year. Sympathy floods her chest, aching and tight.

“Okay,” she says, secretly vowing to ask Anya what’s been up anyway. “Well I’ll play video games with you after dinner, how does that sound.”

He snorts. “You suck at them, Lex.”

“Hey! I’m not _that_ bad.” She laughs as he shoots her a skeptical look. “Fine, play by yourself then. And finish cleaning up this mess!” She points to a pair of socks peeking out from under his bed before leaving his room and heading down to make dinner.

“Fine!” She hears from upstairs as she’s entering the kitchen. “You can play, but don’t get mad when I kill you a bunch of times!”

She grins and shakes her head. “Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Good!”

“Fine!”

//                                                                                                               

Lexa doesn’t usually text in class.

She has once or twice before when Aden needed something, but she’s never made a habit of it. She’s read those studies correlating technological distraction and lower grades, and she’s not about to jeopardize her GPA for something as trivial as a text message; whatever it is can wait an hour.

Today, however, is an exception.

Not intentionally, Lexa reluctantly admits. For all intents and purposes, she should be following her no-texting-during-class policy. A text from Clarke that reads, _is practice moved indoors if it rains or is it canceled?_ is most definitely not an emergency or a message from Aden that dictates a response.

It’s just that now she’s thinking about the weather. Is it going to rain? Will practice be canceled? Why is Clarke texting _her_ this and not Raven or Octavia? Why has Clarke been texting her so many random and inconsequential things the past few weeks? Why doesn’t she just wait until they see each other at practice?

Most pressingly, why does she care?

Her professor is fussing with his PowerPoint presentation so Lexa pulls up the weather app on her phone, frowning when she sees the forecast. Although the weather has turned chillier, there’s no chance of precipitation all week.

She sends a message back to Clarke: _it’s not supposed to rain any time soon._

 **Clarke (1:32pm):** Oh. Yeah I know. Wanted to check just in case :)

 **Lexa (1:33pm):** Shouldn’t you be in class, Clarke?

She sends the message as her Professor gives up on his presentation and just starts talking. He eyes the phone in her hand (she’s in the front row) and she quickly sets it face down on her desk. He smiles kindly at her before he continues with his lecture.

“Does anyone know the story of the Tower of Babel?”

There’s silence throughout the lecture hall. Lexa poises her pen over her notebook.

“Told in Genesis,” her professor continues. “The story of language, understanding, communication, and a lesson in humility. See, according to our story, the people of Earth, at one point, all spoke just one language. They communicated with ease and there was peace and prosperity.

“As humanity began to spread itself throughout Earth, some settled near Shinar. These people decided they would build a tower. Some accounts say this was in case God brought upon a second Great Flood, while others think it was so that they would be recognized if they were to travel away from Shinar. They would be known as those who built the tower. Whatever reason it may be, God didn’t approve. He came down from Heaven and, as punishment, he made it so that every person spoke a different language. There was confusion; they could no longer understand each other. And the city with the tower became known as Babel, from Hebrew, meaning to jumble or mix up.”

Lexa’s professor makes eye contact with her as she listens intently, smiling slightly at her before continuing on and glancing around the class.

“And that is the story of why we have a multitude of languages. Thus is the beginning of globalization, of the spreading of different languages and cultures, of the integration of small communities within a big world. Now, no matter your opinion on globalization as harmful or helpful, I think we can all agree it’s a continuous process that’s occurring right now as we speak, and at a rate that is faster than ever. Who can tell me why?”

The girl sitting next to Lexa raises her hand. “The internet?”

“That’s one reason, definitely.” Her professor points at the phone resting on Lexa’s desk. “May I?” She nods reluctantly and he holds it up. “They say we have the whole world in our pockets thanks to this device. More of a computer than a phone, we have access to news, people, and information from across the globe. Right at your fingertips, you have a way to tell the world ‘I am here, and this is what I have done, and this is what I will do.’” He waves the phone in the air. “Perhaps, this device is our Tower of Babel. In a world in which we are beginning to integrate, to spread our own ideas across the globe, there are certainly pros and cons, celebration and… detriment.” He pauses for effect. “But that’s a lesson for another time. You all may go. Please read chapter five for next class!”

Loud rustling and the zipping of backpacks fills the room as everyone packs up their materials and starts heading out the door. Lexa’s professor sets her phone back on her desk.

“And someone is eager to contact you, Ms. Woods. There’s both a village and a world in your hand. Don’t forget.”

Lexa hesitates, not one hundred percent sure she understands. “I won’t,” she says, and he winks at her before attending to a student waiting to ask him a question. She unlocks her phone and looks at her unread messages.

 **Clarke (1:35pm):** I am lol I’m in chem

 **Clarke (1:39pm):** Wait you’re totally one of those people who doesn’t text in class aren’t you

 **Clarke (1:43pm):** Sorry I didn’t mean to bother you!

 **Clarke (1:44pm):** Well… you DID text me back so

 **Clarke (1:49pm):** Alright I can take a hint ;) see you at practice Lex

She frowns, uncertain if she should respond. After a second of deliberation, she types out a message and heads to her next class.

 **Lexa (1:53pm):** You didn’t bother me, Clarke. See you at practice.

//

Clarke’s exhausted.

October means midterms and midterms mean no sleep.  She’s functioning on an average of 3 hours of sleep per night and too much coffee during the day. Thanks to weight training, practice, and studying her ass off for her chem test, she’s about to pass out on this campus bench at 3pm.

“You need me to call an ambulance or something?”

Clarke opens her eyes, blinking the exhaustion away until Anya comes into view in front of her. “Not yet,” she murmurs. “Give it another week.”

“You look like crap.” Anya frowns and settles next to her on the bench. Clarke moves over to make some room.

“You sure know how to charm a girl,” Clarke laughs and Anya rolls her eyes.

“I can charm them when it counts.”

Clarke hums skeptically. “Sure.”

“You coming from class?”

“Yep,” Clarke replies. “Chem. Just gonna chill before practice. You?”

“Library,” Anya says. She fidgets with her phone. “Just waiting for Lexa. Gotta run home before practice.”

Clarke nods thoughtfully. “I think she’s in class. I was just texting her.”

Anya’s eyes focus on her immediately. “Lexa doesn’t text in class.”

“Well, she was texting me.” Clarke shrugs, shooting Anya a satisfied smile.

“Don’t look so smug.” Anya rolls her eyes. “It’s not a good look on you.”

Clarke laughs at that. “Gotta be a better look than these bags under my eyes.” Then something occurs to her. “Hey, you didn’t happen to see Raven in the library did you? I swear she lives in there lately and she has my headphones.”

Anya nods, her hands stilling in her lap as she glances in the direction of the library. “Yeah, I saw her. We were studying together but she’s a pain in my ass. She said something about meeting Octavia for a quick lunch in the caf.”

“Oh.” Clarke sighs. “I’ll just get them back from her later.”

A silence falls between them, kind of awkward but not altogether unpleasant. Clarke thinks Anya looks stressed about something. She keeps crossing and uncrossing her legs and her eyes seem far away.

“Hey,” she keeps her voice tentative and low. “How are you, by the way?”

Anya raises her eyebrows. “Fine?”

“You sure? You just seem stressed.”

“We’re all stressed.” Anya rolls her eyes. “Got midterms and a fuckton of other shit going on.”

“Well yeah. I know.” Clarke tilts her head to the side. “I’m just saying if there’s anything you need…”

Anya’s mouth quirks up in an infuriating half-smirk. “Thanks, Doc. I’ll make sure to come to you.” Then she glances at her phone and stands up, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. “Lexa’s out of class. See you in a bit.”

“Tell her I said hey!”

Anya shakes her head, already walking away down the sidewalk. “Tell her yourself.”

Clarke smiles and rests her head back against the bench. It’s still early.

She thinks she still has time for a twenty minute nap before she needs to get ready for practice.

//

They’re losing.

It’s their last game before winter and they’re losing.

Clarke shifts in her crouch, eyeing the runner on second. They’ve got two outs, so if they can just keep the runner from scoring, they’ll have one more opportunity in the bottom of the 7th inning to come back.

She flashes Lexa the number for the rise ball. Lexa nods and Clarke watches her inhale deeply before going into her motion and releasing the ball.

The pitch is high and inside, but the batter swings, catching it on the inside handle. It flies into the air, over third and into left field. Clarke flips her mask off, getting into position in front of home in case of a throw.

Ontari runs at a full sprint toward the ball until she’s under it. Then she lifts up her glove and…

“Fuck,” Clarke murmurs, watching as the ball tips off Ontari’s glove and bounces away from her. She grabs the ball and throws to Octavia at shortstop, but the runner from second has already crossed the plate.

Clarke squeezes her eyes shut, giving herself one second to be mad. Then she opens her eyes and picks up her mask.

“Hey, it’s cool, we got two outs!” She calls, holding up two fingers. “Just get this last one.”

She pulls her mask on and squats back down as a new batter steps up. Clarke remembers her from earlier in the game. She tells Lexa to pitch the fastball outside.

The girl watches the first two pitches go by, then swings and misses the rise ball for strike three.

Three outs, but they’re down by three now. Octavia gives them a pep talk before they go up to bat, a call to not go down without a fight.

Gina is up first, and she grounds out to the second basemen. Harper follows her with a pop-up to center field.

Clarke cheers her team on, clapping loudly even as their remaining outs quickly dwindle. When Monroe walks, she lets out a loud whistle as she jogs to first.

Octavia steps up to bat and watches the first strike go by and the tension in the air makes Clarke want to pull out her hair. She claps louder instead. Next to her, Gina yells encouragement and lets out a loud cheer when Octavia makes contact with the ball.

It soars out into the gap between left and center field and Monroe takes off running, but the outfielders are quick, and she’s stuck at third. Octavia slides into second for a double.

There’s still two outs, but with the tying run at home, Clarke feels hope build in her chest.

“Come on, Raven, you got this!” She hears Octavia yell from second as she steps into the on-deck circle. Her teammates echo the cheer, their dugout louder than it has been all game.

Raven hits the first pitch for a long foul ball down the right field line. The fans in the stands let out a collective groan. Clarke takes a powerful cut on-deck in order to shake out some of the tension in her arms.

Raven takes two balls in a row and pulls ahead in the count.

Clarke holds her breath as the fourth pitch comes, immediately knowing from years as her teammate that Raven is going to swing. Her bat makes contact with the ball, and Clarke watches as it flies straight up in the air. In her periphery, she sees Octavia breaking for third and Monroe inching closer to home, but it’s no use.

The ball lands in the catcher’s glove for out number three.

“Dammit,” she hears someone hiss from behind her. Everyone spills out from the dugout, but Clarke watches at Raven hits her bat against the dirt, frustrated and angry. She hangs her head as she walks back to their huddle.

They shake hands with the other team and Kane gives his post-game talk as usual. He reminds them that these losses won’t count for their league standings and they’ll just have to work hard in the off-season to stay in shape and keep their fundamentals crisp.

He leaves them standing in the outfield to talk as a team before they head out, but nobody seems to have anything to say.

Next to Clarke, Raven shifts, and Clarke can tell she’s pissed at herself.

“We’ll just have to come back stronger in the spring.” She squeezes Raven’s shoulder but Raven shrugs it off.

“Yeah, hopefully that’s enough time to break out of some slumps,” she hears Ontari mutter from across the huddle. Clarke twists her lips, holding back a retort, but Raven isn’t as withholding.

“Back off,” she practically snarls, crossing her arms.

Ontari rolls her eyes. “I just tell it like it is.”

Octavia scoffs from Clarke’s other side. “Yeah, well make sure you patch that hole in your glove over the holidays, then.”

“Make sure you watch your mouth,” Ontari sneers and Octavia takes a step forward.

Clarke’s eyes widen as everyone suddenly starts arguing. She grabs Octavia’s arm, but her friend wrenches away. Clarke meets Lexa’s gaze across the circle, the two of them the only ones not yelling besides Anya, who watches the action with a bored expression. Lexa thins her lips and shakes her head ever so slightly at Clarke, as if saying to let them get it out and they’ll get over it soon.

But when she hears someone snap _fuck off_ loudly, Clarke decides there’s no way she can do that.

 “Guys, stop!” She pulls Octavia back by her jersey and steps forward. “We’re supposed to be a team.”

“Don’t, Clarke,” Raven mutters, and she steps back from the group and stands next to Anya. “It’s not worth it.”

Clarke is having none of that. “How are we supposed to win if we don’t trust each other on the field and _support_ each other? We can’t be tearing each other down or we’ve already lost.”

“Lame,” Ontari says.

“Shut up,” Anya snaps and turns to Clarke, nodding for her to continue.

Everyone stares at her. She grits her teeth and continues. “We need to show each other that we can be friends. Or if not friends, then at least on each other’s side.” She shakes her head as they all avoid eye contact with each other. “We’re doing mandatory team bonding. Tonight.”

Ontari scowls. “Who made you the boss?”

“Shut _up_ ,” Octavia hisses, and Ontari holds up her hands in a pacifying gesture. “Fine, Clarke. I’m down to hang. What are we doing?”

“Well,” Clarke says, looking around at them all. “Nothing says trust like… that haunted corn maze off County Line Road?”

“Fuck, no, I am not – ”

“Shut up, Ontari!” Everyone says at once, effectively shutting her down in the first sign of an alliance that Clarke has seen in weeks.

She just hopes this isn’t an awful idea.

//

“This is an awful idea,” Lexa hisses as they’re getting ready to meet up at the school.

Anya ignores her, fixing her hair in the hall mirror and buttoning up her jacket.

“She thinks that one experience, a likely _traumatizing_ one by the way, is going to solve this team’s problems?”

Anya just hums, letting Lexa rant. Aden watches her from the couch, one eye on his game and the other on her as she paces. “I think it sounds fun,” he says, then cringes when his character steps on a grenade and gets blown up. He sets down his controller. “You never do fun stuff, Lex.”

She crosses her arms, feeling slightly offended. “What are you talking about? Yes I do.”

He pouts at her sympathetically. “No offense, but watching me play Halo doesn’t count.”

“He’s right, you know.” Anya grabs the car keys off the kitchen table and tosses them in her direction. “When was the last time you went out with people other than us?”

She shoves the keys in her pocket and decides not to answer that.

“Yeah, I thought so,” Anya smirks. “And don’t pretend like this is some issue you have with Clarke. She told me you were messaging her _during class_ last week.”

“Clarke?” Aden’s eyes light up in curiosity. “Is she the new one? The one who is cute?”

Lexa holds back her scowl. “I never said she was cute, you just asked.”

He smirks at her. “You never denied it.”

Anya laughs loudly and ruffles his hair, leaning down to speak to him in a conspiratorial whisper. “Lexa has a crush on her.”

Lexa frowns, deciding that’s not worth a response. What does Anya know about it? Sure, Clarke is pretty, and hard-working, and the kind of leader that Lexa respects.

She’s also her teammate, and after forcing them all to “bond” in a corn maze, decidedly _frustrating_.

It’s not _her_ fault nobody is on the same page, that her team is Babel, post-God’s-wrath, everyone speaking a different language and feeding into chaotic misunderstanding.

“Come on,” Anya says. “We’re going to be late.” She points in Aden’s direction. “Be good, kid. Don’t hurt yourself with that game.”

“Okay,” he responds as Lexa smooths down the hair Anya messed up.

“Gus is next door as usual. Call me if you need _anything_ , alright?” She gives him a stern look.

He nods. “Okay, I will.”

“I mean it, Ade. Anything.”

“Okay, I said. I’ll be fine, Lex, seriously.”

Anya grabs her arm. “He said he’ll be fine. Let’s go.”

“Alright,” she mutters and lets Anya drag her out the door to what is certain to be an interesting night amongst creepy clowns, chainsaw killers, and even worse, angry teammates.

//

The air is crisp when Clarke gathers around the rest of her teammates near the entrance of the maze. She can see her breath against the night air when she exhales and she pulls her beanie further down over her ears. The rest of the team are in winter jackets and peacoats. Harper holds a discarded mitten in one hand as she steals some roasted cinnamon nuts from Monroe while they wait their turn to enter the maze.

It’s very distinctly autumn, and Clarke loves it.

They make small talk amongst themselves as they edge closer to the front of the line, Ontari laughing at something with Monroe. Anya and Gina talk about some class they share. Clarke watches Lexa check her phone three times before they get to the front of the line. They’re a pretty big group, and when they finally hand over the tickets at the entrance, the employee working the line tells them they have to split up into smaller groups. Clarke frowns.

“Yo, I have an idea,” Raven says and they all look at her. “We go in pairs. Slowest pair has to buy fastest pair dinner.”

“A little competition, then?” Ontari smirks and after a minute they all agree.

“Great!” Octavia puts her arm through Gina’s. “I’m with Gina, we have some things to discuss about her budding relationship with my dear brother.” She stamps her ticket with the time stamp at the entrance to the maze and starts pulling Gina into the corn.

Gina looks back at Clarke and Raven helplessly and they both shrug at her as the pair disappears around the first corner. They immediately hear a loud screech and assume something jumped out at them.

“Fine, if we’re doing this, let’s do it.” Anya grabs Raven by the wrist, stamps her ticket, and pulls her through the corn.

There’s a quick scuffle as they all start to pair up. Clarke’s eyes immediately find Lexa’s and she’s pleased to find Lexa looking back at her. She jerks her head and Lexa nods, moving closer to her.

Ontari and Luna shoot into the maze at a jog, earning a scolding from the employee at the front of the line. Harper and Monroe stamp both their tickets and Harper steals Monroe’s snapback and slinks into the corn, Monroe following her at a leisurely pace. There’s another scream as they round the first corner.

“They’re not very subtle in letting you know that something’s right inside there, are they?” Lexa murmurs and Clarke smiles.

“They’re just warming you up so you’re on your toes. Then they lead you into a false sense of security until the chainsaw guy chases you out.”

Lexa quirks and eyebrow. “Pleasant.”

“Don’t tell me you’re scared.” Clarke grins when Lexa scoffs.

“Please, Clarke. Legally the actors can’t touch you, why would I be scared?” She takes Clarke’s ticket, holding it under the time punch and stamping their time on it. Clarke looks down.

8:47pm.

“Alright, well, don’t worry. If you scream I won’t tell the others.” She grabs Lexa’s hand. “Let’s go then.”

//

After the initial jump-scare (a guy in a mediocre Freddy Krueger costume) and besides avoiding the groups of high schoolers running throughout the corn, they navigate through the maze with ease.

Well, mostly…

“We should go left.”

“We already went that way, Clarke.”

“No that was at the other fork.”

“We’ve been walking in a circle for ten minutes.”

“You can’t tell.”

“We passed that stalk of corn already.”

“Lexa, you can’t tell the stalks from each other.”

“ _Clarke_.”

“ _Lexa…”_

Lexa huffs. “You are insufferable. Look at the map on your ticket! We already went this way.”

“I think we haven’t and I’m going left.” Clarke is absolutely certain that they _have_ already gone left, but at some point in the night, the cold seeped its way into Lexa’s cheeks, turning them a soft and pretty pink, and Clarke is sure that if they go right, they’ll almost be out of the maze.

Clarke doesn’t want to be out of the maze yet.

She stomps off in the left direction.

“You can follow or we can split up, but don’t come crying to me when the chainsaw guy finds you all alone!” She calls over her shoulder. She smirks when Lexa catches up to her.

“You are the most stubborn girl I’ve ever met.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Clarke says.

Lexa rolls her eyes. “It most certainly was _not_ a compliment.” She pulls out her phone again, squinting her eyes at the bright light in the darkness before sliding it back in her jean pocket. “We could’ve been out by now,” she sighs.

Clarke tries not to take offense to that. “You got somewhere better to be? A hot date texting you?”

Lexa scrunches her nose. “If by hot date you mean my brother, then… still no.”

Clarke pauses, slowing down her steps. “You have a brother?”

“Yes.” Lexa tilts her head to the side, eyes searching Clarke’s face. “Why have we stopped walking?”

“Oh.” Clarke shakes her head and continues forward, following the maze around the corner. She’s pretty sure they’ve reached the back wall of it. “I just was surprised, that’s all.”

Lexa hums questioningly. “Should I not have a brother?”

“What? Of course you should.” Clarke shrugs as they come to another fork in the maze. “I just realized I don’t know very much about you.”

“Well you’ve never asked,” Lexa says simply. “And I don’t know very much about you, either.”

Clarke twists her lips, studying Lexa. Her cheeks are still pink from the cold and her curly hair falls over her shoulders. She’s watching Clarke with curious eyes, open and questioning.

“Okay, well this is supposed to be team bonding right?” Clarke asks after a second.

Lexa quirks an eyebrow. “I think that kind of fell through when we broke into pairs to compete against one another, Clarke.”

Clarke rolls her eyes. “Well, _we_ can bond then.” Lexa eyes her skeptically and she continues. “Tell me a fact about yourself and you can pick the direction we go at this fork. Then at the next fork, I’ll tell you something about myself, and I get to choose.”

Lexa hesitates, but eventually nods. “Fine, but only because if I continue to let you choose, we’ll never get out of here.”

Clarke shoves at Lexa’s shoulder, but her scowl turns into a smile when Lexa laughs. “Don’t be rude.”

“I was simply stating fact, Clarke.”

“Rude,” Clarke says again. “But fine. You start.”

Lexa glances from Clarke and back to the fork in the corn. “My brother is named Aden.” Then she starts walking down the right path. Clarke quickly follows so as to not get left behind. Somewhere in the distance, a chainsaw roars and screams puncture the air.

“Aden,” Clarke repeats. “How old is he?”

Lexa looks at her as if to say _this wasn’t in the rules_ but something in Clarke’s face must persuade her to answer because after a second she shrugs. “Thirteen.”

“Young,” Clarke hums. “And where does he live? Back home? Where is home for you?”

“You two would get along,” Lexa murmurs, but Clarke catches it. “So many questions.” She shakes her head. “He lives with me.”

“Oh.” So that’s who Lexa is always babysitting.

They come to a three-way stop in the maze. “Your turn, Clarke.” Lexa looks at her expectantly.

“Right. Umm.” She tries to think of something interesting about herself. “Let’s see. I’m from DC. Well I’m originally from Minneapolis, but then my mom got a job in DC so we moved when I was about to start high school.” She decides to just keep going straight on the path they were going down.

“Not too far then. Will you go back there once you graduate?” Lexa asks.

Clarke shrugs. “I still have another year after this, but I guess it depends on med-school.” She gestures at the split in the corn in front of them. “Your turn.”

“I’m from everywhere,” Lexa says. “My father is in the Marines, so we moved around a lot when I was growing up.”

“Really?” Clarke grins. “That kind of makes sense.”

The corners of Lexa’s mouth twitch, but she doesn’t smile. “I have been told that.” She raises her eyebrows then turns down a path. Clarke follows her, intrigued and brimming with questions.

“Where have you lived?”

“Several places within the United States, but Japan for a while, and my family currently lives in Germany.” Lexa shrugs as they walk. “He was mostly stationed in the US, and of that time, I mainly lived around DC and Virginia.”

Clarke shoots her a wry smile. “So not that far for you, either. And of course, you’ll return to the city eventually.” Lexa glances at her questioningly and Clarke’s grin turns cheeky. “For your re-election, Senator.”

They stop at another three-way in the maze and Lexa turns to her. “Who said I wanted to be Senator?”

Clarke shrugs, holding her hands up in a rectangular shape as if to capture Lexa within a picture frame. “I can see it. Especially with your now apparent military background. You’re perfect for the job.”

“Well, that seems a stretch, Clarke.”

“Like I said, I can see it.” She taps her chin in thought. “Woods for President, 2032.” She smirks. “Or even better, Woods/Griffin 2032. Now that has a ring to it.”

Lexa quirks an eyebrow, a smile playing at her lips. “Are we running mates or married in this situation?”

“Why not both?”

Lexa hums thoughtfully. “Well I think it would be Woods/Woods, then.”

Clarke puts her hand on her hip. “Um, you mean Griffin/Griffin.”

“That doesn’t flow very well, Clarke. If we’re going to be the first married President and VP combo, it’s going to need to flow.” The seriousness of Lexa’s voice makes Clarke laugh, a teasing happiness filling her lungs. Lexa stares at her, and Clarke watches as she smiles, full and warm.

She looks beautiful, Clarke thinks, her cheeks pink, eyes expressing a pleasing sort of lightness.

“Well,” Clarke says. “We can discuss that later, I suppose.”

“We could always hyphenate,” Lexa suggests.

Clarke snorts. “Woods-Griffin/Woods-Griffin 2032. That’s not a mouthful.” Then she shakes her head. “I can’t believe you’re already asking me to hyphenate. At least take me on a date first, Senator.”

“If you insist, Clarke.” They both stare at each other, and Clarke feels an invisible tugging on her heart, in her chest, down to her stomach. She yearns for something more, to reach out and grab Lexa’s hand or to say something to match the tingling in her toes. Lexa tilts her head to the side minutely, observing Clarke, her eyes traveling over Clarke’s face and making Clarke’s entire body flush.

And Clarke feels the tug grow, an anticipation of something pleasant and new expanding in her chest. She shifts slightly, her feet bringing her an inch closer, her mouth opening to say _something_ although she’s not sure anything more than incoherent murmuring will come out.

She just knows that something is going to happen.

Something good.

“BOO!”

Clarke practically jumps out of her skin, whipping around as an actor in a gorilla suit jumps out from around the corner. Lexa stiffens, a hand coming out to grab Clarke’s shoulder instinctively.

The actor’s laughter is audible even from under his mask as Clarke lets out a delayed squeak. Lexa exhales, her breath hitting the side of Clarke’s face as she relaxes. Clarke feels a cathartic giggle build in her chest as Lexa’s grip on her shoulder tightens briefly before she lets go.

“Come on,” Clarke laughs, grabbing Lexa’s hand. She absentmindedly notes that the chill of Lexa’s palm in her own is as comforting to her as sliding her fingers into her glove, familiar and molded to her hand.

“Do you think we’re almost at the exit?” Lexa asks as they squeeze near the corn to let a group of preteens pass them.

The roar of the chainsaw comes from around the corner, closer than they’ve heard it all night, and Clarke chuckles. “Sounds like it.”

“Good.” Lexa sounds relieved. “I don’t want to buy anyone dinner.”

“Better hurry up then,” Clarke says, tugging Lexa around the corner. They manage to walk for another thirty seconds before Clarke realizes they’re still holding hands. She thinks about letting go, but as they turn the next corner, the chainsaw comes to life behind them as a figure steps out of the shadows.

Lexa jumps a mile high and Clarke squeezes her hand tighter and takes off at a jog toward the clearly marked exit now in front of them, her stomach shaking with laughter at the look on Lexa’s face.

She doesn’t drop Lexa’s hand until they’re out of the maze.

//

They’re the second-to-last ones out, their time falling only 3 minutes under Harper and Monroe’s. Lexa scolds Clarke under her breath for almost making her have to buy Ontari dinner and Clarke nudges her to be nice.

Everyone seems to be in good spirits as they leave, even Gina, who Clarke suspects got the threatening-sister treatment from Octavia the entire hour they were in the maze. Raven is in a happier mood too, despite her frustration from the game earlier. She and Anya are sharing a pack of m&ms, taking turns tossing them into each other’s mouth.

Clarke’s pretty sure she hasn’t seen Anya laugh so much in one sitting before.

Even Ontari has reeled in the snark for the evening, but Lexa seems unimpressed with her constant gloating. Clarke imagines someone is a little too competitive for their own good. Her theory is basically proven right when she sees Lexa smirk in satisfaction when Anya chucks an m&m at Ontari to shut her up and it hits her in the nose.

She doesn’t want to toot her own horn, but Clarke’s pretty sure her bonding exercise was a success.

//

**Gina Boobeena**

Did everyone get home okay?

**HARPER**

Monroe and I did

**R-Money**

yes mom

**O**

yes mom

**R-Money**

lol nice O

**O**

(Raised Hand With Fingers Splayed )

**R-Money**

(Raised Hand With Fingers Splayed )

**Gina Boobeena**

yes (Raised Hand With Fingers Splayed ) stop

**R-Money**

that’s a high five mom not a stop sign

**O**

lol I changed my mind you and Bell are perfect for each other. Grandma

**R-Money**

O you’re not even home liar

**O**

I’m at Linc’s duh

**R-Money**

(Eyes )

**Gina Boobeena**

use protection

**R-Money**

how do we change her name to Mom in the chat

**HARPER**

I don’t think you can. Once she’s in only gina can change it

**Monroe**

nah you could kick her out and add her back with a new name

**Gina Boobeena**

guys

**O removed Gina Boobeena from the chat**

**O added Gina ‘Mom’ Boobeena to the chat**

**Gina ‘Mom’ Boobeena**

really

**R-Money**

LOL nice O

**Ontari**

@ Monroe don’t forget you owe me dinner

**Monroe**

it’s been one hour I haven’t forgotten bitch

**Ontari**

just saying

**R-Money**

how come half this team never talks in here

**Snark Griffin**

because you’re obnoxious

**HARPER**

lolllll

**R-Money**

just for that I’m stealing your Arnold Palmer in the fridge

**Snark Griffin**

that’s Octavias

**R-Money**

… I’m still taking it

//

November passes in a blur and December brings finals and snow.

Lexa’s next few weeks are an entanglement of classes, exams, weight training, exams, pitching, and more exams.

They don’t really have team practice anymore, Kane just asking them to individually log their hours in the weight room, so Lexa rarely sees anyone, choosing to buckle down and study. Anya might as well be sleeping at the library for all Lexa sees her. Once in a while she passes Gina in between her classes and they make small talk before they go in opposite directions.

She really only sees Clarke.

They pitch together every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and they both like doing weights in the evening, so Lexa runs into her in the weight room often. Clarke even spots for her sometimes, which Lexa finds more distracting than helpful, mostly because Clarke _talks_ through the whole thing and Lexa loses count of her reps.

And also because a sweaty Clarke Griffin in a sports bra attracts the gaze of all kinds of people in the weight room. Not that Lexa blames them. Clarke is gorgeous and strong and she _smiles_ when she does squats, which Lexa thinks is bizarre. Clarke’s company isn’t anywhere close to unpleasant, it’s just difficult to do her workouts when everyone is staring in their general vicinity.

(That’s what she tells herself anyway, despite the voice in the back of her head that is painfully aware that she’s among the people staring.)

It’s one of those nights, she thinks, as she’s on the rowing machine and two basketball players over on dumbbells have pretty much stopped halfway through their reps to stare at Clarke while she’s in a plank. Lexa has three more minutes on her rowing workout, but when Clarke moves over to the bench press, she decides to skip her cool-down and get off the machine.

“Need a spot?” She asks, yanking out her earbuds as Clarke finishes attaching her weights. She’s rewarded with a large smile.

“Thanks,” Clarke says, lying back on the bench. “Better safe than sorry, right?”

“Yes,” Lexa hums and steps behind the bar. She helps Clarke get started then counts in her head as Clarke eases the bar closer to her chest and back up again. The basketball players are in the middle of a water break which doesn’t fool Lexa for a second, and she glares at them until they go back to their workout. “One more,” she says, then helps Clarke set the bar back on the holding rack.

Clarke takes a minute to drink water, her chest heaving and sweat dripping down her forehead. They do two more sets and then switch.

Lexa always finds it bizarre and unnerving to be laying on her back and see Clarke’s face looming over her, upside down and closer than usual. She closes her eyes.

As she starts counting in her head, she notices the lack of constant chatter behind her and frowns. By the time she gets to ten, it’s almost more distracting than if Clarke was talking to her like normal. She lets Clarke take the bar from her and sits up.

“You’re quiet today,” she says between breaths.

Clarke pinches her eyebrows together like she doesn’t get it, but then she shrugs. “I was studying. Mentally.” She brings her index finger up to her temple. “I have a huge final tomorrow and you know me, always leaving the studying until the last minute.”

Lexa laughs. “And yet you’re here and not studying.”

“Gotta blow off some steam,” Clarke shrugs. “Got tired of sitting in the library all by myself.”

Lexa pauses, thinking about the text Aden already sent her telling her he’s going to eat dinner at his friend’s house while they do a project for their English class, and Anya’s constant absence from home. Her stomach growls and makes the decision for her.

“Do you want help?”

Surprise flashes over Clarke’s face before it’s replaced by a smile. “Are you asking if you can be my study buddy?”

Lexa rolls her eyes, biting back the embarrassed grin that she feels come to the surface so often under Clarke’s teasing. “Well, I was going to grab something to eat after this and go over some notes I took today. I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to join.”

“Aww,” Clarke coos as Lexa lies back down on the bench. “Am I finally getting that date, Senator?”

“Clarke,” Lexa chastises, trying to ignore the flustered fluttering in her stomach.

“Where are we going? Do I have to wear evening attire? Because I only brought a change of sweats and a tee.”

Lexa scowls, her hands coming up to grip the bar. “Never mind. I’m revoking the invitation.”

“Too late, I already accepted.” Clarke smirks as she leans over the bar, holding it in place so Lexa can’t move it. “First a date, next I get to meet the fam.”

“Mockery,” Lexa huffs as she finally lifts the bar, “is not the product of a strong mind, Clarke.”

“Who needs a strong mind when you got these guns?” Clarke flexes and her laugh wiggles its way deep into Lexa’s chest, warm and easy and there to stay.

Lexa rolls her eyes, but she feels herself grinning as she starts her reps.

When they head to the locker room ten minutes later, Clarke tugging on her hand to hurry up, Lexa watches as the basketball players return her glare from earlier.

She can’t help it. She waves at them and allows Clarke to drag her away.

//

If she had to describe Clarke Griffin in a few words or less, she might say she’s a force of nature.

“Pulmonary semilunar valve. Papillary muscle. Interventricular septum. Myocardium.” Her finger jabs the diagram, pointing to the location on the chart as she recites what each part is called. She hesitates over the last one, her finger hovering in the air over the paper. Then she grins. “Pericardium.”

Lexa sets the answer key down on the table. “I thought you said you procrastinated.”

“I did,” Clarke replies with a shrug. “But I’m good at memorizing and we already had a test on this. We just have to know it again for the final.”

“Right.” Lexa says. “So why did you need my help?”

Clarke picks up her fork and raises an eyebrow at her. “I didn’t. But you offered and I was hungry.” As if to prove her point, she stabs a bite of pancake with her fork.

Lexa shakes her head, exasperated, but unfamiliarly fond. “Hungry for Denny’s, out of all places?”

“Mhmm,” Clarke hums, eyes alight as she drowns her pancakes in syrup. Then she looks up at Lexa seriously. “Can I tell you a secret?” Lexa nods, suddenly half-curious, half-afraid. Clarke leans closer to speak quieter. “Denny’s sucks and I just wanted to see if you would agree to eat here.”

Lexa feels her face fall immediately as Clarke breaks down laughing. “I do not… understand you, Clarke.”

Clarke shrugs as her laughter dies down and stabs at her pancakes again. “Sometimes you just gotta eat shitty pancakes, Lex.”

“Not when there is an IHOP two minutes away from here.” Lexa pushes her own plate away from her and on top of Clarke’s heart diagram.

“Don’t crush my heart,” Clarke pouts, and she wonders if Clarke intends for double meaning or if she’s making it all up in her head.

She sits on her hands under the table, if only for something to do with them. “I won’t.”

Clarke stares at her for the briefest of seconds, hesitating as their eyes meet. Lexa thinks Clarke’s look an impossible shade of blue under the restaurant lights. She absentmindedly notes that Denny’s could invest in a better lighting as well as better food.

“Good,” Clarke says, her attention returning to her pancakes. “Then I think this political marriage is going to work out.”

Lexa finds herself smiling even as she rolls her eyes. “While your aspirations for us are admiral, Clarke, I never said I wanted to go into politics, you know.”

Clarke looks up in surprise. “You don’t?”

“Well someday, maybe, but not immediately, no.”

“Huh.” Clarke must decide she’s done with her pancakes because she puts her fork down and places her chin in her hand, giving Lexa her undivided attention. “So what do you want to do then?”

“Well, I suppose it _is_ politics in a way, but not how you’re thinking.” Clarke just stares at her, open and inviting, patiently curious. She glances down at the study materials covering their table and feels her heart pound just a little harder in her chest. “I’d like to work for the UN.”

Clarke hums, narrowing her eyes. Then she nods and Lexa watches a smile tug at her lips. “Lexa Woods. Advocate for better foreign relations? For alliances? For… peace?”

“It sounds silly when you say it like that, but yes.”

“No,” Clarke urges with a shake of her head. “It sounds perfect.”

Lexa feels a tender softness break over her and she can feel herself smiling slightly. She tries to keep it in check. “It’s just something I’ve been thinking about.”

“What would you want to do there?” Clarke asks.

“I’d like to be a delegate or an ambassador,” Lexa says. “Somewhere overseas. At least temporarily.”

Clarke smiles, a gentle tug of her lips that makes Lexa feel quiet and at ease. “That sounds really fulfilling. I think you’d be awesome at that.”

Lexa shrugs, unsure of what to say. “It’s very competitive, and I would need to build up a portfolio and get experience first.”

“Well, yeah,” Clarke nods. “It’s still a cool thing to work toward.”

“Thank you.” Lexa brings her hands to the tabletop, suddenly feeling like she’s been talking too much when they came here to study. She moves her plate off of the heart diagram. “Should we finish your studying?”

Clarke rolls her eyes with a grin, slumping back in the booth. “I guess.” She points to the flashcards on the end of the table. “Functions of each of those parts of the heart.”

Lexa grabs the flashcards and starts flipping through them. Clarke rattles off the answers easily, her words almost coming out in sing-song. They go through the deck twice and she doesn’t miss any of them.

They’re still there after the waitress brings their check, but as Clarke playfully teases her across the table and doesn’t hesitate to answer any of her flashcards, Lexa has the insane idea that Clarke hadn’t needed or wanted to study at all. That when Lexa had offered it, studying was perhaps just an excuse.

She has the distinct sensation that Clarke just wanted to hang out with her.

It fills her with a blinding sort of happiness, followed by a startling uncertainty of what she’s feeling.

Clarke is like a force of nature, she thinks. And Lexa has just now realized she might be caught up in the storm.

//

Besides her Chem class, Clarke’s finals aren’t too bad. She ends up leaving most of her studying until the last minute, but cramming has always been her strong-suit and it’s never let her down. The current semester is no exception.

Perhaps some good karma caught up with her, or maybe for once in her life she’s lucky, but her finals are early in the week and she finishes before most of her friends, giving her the rest of the week to chill and do whatever she wants.

Whatever she wants, meaning shopping for Christmas presents for her friends because she even managed to leave _that_ until the last minute.

She’s surfing the internet for Raven’s present, having already picked out a cool pocket knife for Octavia. Raven has always been tough to shop for, in Clarke’s opinion. She never _wants_ anything, or the things she does want are expensive tech gadgets and parts that Clarke can’t afford and Raven would never ask for from her. It’s also annoying when you’ve been friends with people through years’ worth of gift-giving holidays. She’s been out of ideas for three Christmases.

So there Clarke is, browsing around random sites and hoping something good pops out at her. Currently, she’s looking at weird posters because Raven is into that kind of thing and she has some wall space in her room. She hovers over this weird dinosaur poster that she thinks Raven might like and decides she’ll get that if she doesn’t find anything better by tonight.

She scrolls through another few pages, skipping over some fandom posters and some other random ones. There’s one with an intricate drawing of a heart that makes her chuckle, not because Raven would like it, but because it’s similar to what she was using to study the other night with Lexa.

She pauses, humming thoughtfully, her finger hovering over the trackpad on her laptop.

She kind of wants to get it for Lexa.

Would that be weird? It could be like a thank you-slash-Christmas present. They’re not _super_ close, but they have spent some time together almost every day for the past semester. And Clarke likes Lexa. She’s attentive, and determined, and caring, and she looks at Clarke in a way that _nobody_ has ever looked at her, like the things she says aren’t simple words but actually spells from Harry Potter and she’s doing magic or something equally and impossibly great. Clarke doesn’t get it, but that’s what it makes her feel like.

Lexa is different, and they make each other smile, and Clarke likes the way Lexa turns shy when they tease each other.

And you get Christmas presents for the people in your life that you like, right?

She deliberates for another half of a second, then decides she can keep it neutral by just drawing the print herself, that way she doesn’t spend any money and Lexa won’t feel guilty if she didn’t get her anything since they didn’t say they were getting each other something.

She has the rest of the day, so she flips to an open page in her sketchbook, looking at pictures on Google for reference.

When the sun is starting to set and her room is plunged into semi darkness, Clarke finally finishes the drawing and closes her sketchbook in satisfaction, a strange and uncertain sort of giddiness filling her chest.

She hopes it’s not too much.

//

(Clarke gets Raven the dinosaur poster.)

(Raven loves it.)

//

Lexa’s last final is for her Globalization class.

Her professor smiles kindly at her when he hands her the packet of essay questions and Lexa feels something bittersweet pang in her stomach. She’s happy the semester is over, but she really enjoyed his class.

She breezes through the first two essays with no trouble, but she pauses when she reads the last question, not remembering studying the topic in her notes.

_If the legendary city of Babel can be considered to be the potential beginning of globalization, describe how the process of globalization can both bring us closer to the unity experienced before the creation of Babel and how it can further divide us. Provide two examples of both positive and negative effects of globalization._

Lexa furrows her eyebrows in thought.

Then she remembers Clarke texting her in class, her professor using her phone as an example.

_There’s both a village and a world in your hands. Don’t forget._

_You didn’t bother me, Clarke_.

Lexa smiles and starts writing.

//

 **Clarke (6:09pm):** Hey are you going to the gym tonight

 **Lexa (6:14pm):** Yes

 **Clarke (6:15pm):** cool me too

 **Lexa (6:17pm):** If you’d like to go together, you can just ask me, Clarke

 **Clarke (6:18pm):** ha ha

 **Lexa (6:20pm):** I’m going around 7:30

 **Clarke (6:22pm):** Oh well I’m going after you leave so we don’t awkwardly see each other

 **Lexa (6:25pm):** Shame

 **Clarke (6:29pm):** your sarcasm could be really misconstrued over text you know

 **Lexa (6:32pm):** You seem to understand it just fine

 **Clarke (6:33pm):** Because I’m awesome

 **Lexa (6:35pm):** Debatable

 **Clarke (6:37pm):** I’m saving these messages so your rude side is exposed this is unbelievable

 **Lexa (6:40pm):** See you around 7:30 :)

 **Clarke (6:42pm):** Did you just use a smiley

 **Clarke (6:46pm):** Lexa! Come back here

 **Clarke (6:56pm):** ugh fine. See you at 7:30

//

“… and there was _one_ question where I was having a complete brain blank and I couldn’t remember it even though we had gone over it the night before. But thankfully it came to me right as we were running out of time. He hasn’t given us the grades back yet but I think I did good enough.”

“That’s… great,” Lexa gets through her exertion as she brings the bar down to her chest in time to see Clarke lean over her with a smirk on her face.

“You can stop now. I think you lost count. You’ve done like four too many.” Clarke raises her eyebrows and Lexa pushes the bar up slightly so she can help ease it back on the rack.

Lexa tries to catch her breath and sit up, but her arms feel as shaky and fragile as a fallen autumn leaf. She swings her legs over the side of the bench and lifts the bottom of her tank top up to wipe the sweat from her forehead.

When she pulls it down, Clarke is staring at her.

“What?”

Clarke points at her stomach, her mouth hanging open. “What the fuck are those?”

Lexa looks down in alarm, but nothing is there. “What are _what_?”

“Your abs!”

Lexa blinks in surprise before lifting her shirt back up and staring at her stomach. “Is something wrong?” Clarke’s hands gesture around with no real purpose. Lexa isn’t following. “Clarke?”

“Nothing. You should just like walk around campus with your abs on display. You’ll have a girlfriend within a week.” Clarke is still staring in the general direction of her stomach and Lexa rolls her eyes to hide her blush.

“Clarke.”

“Just saying.” Clarke grabs her water bottle from the ground. “I mean I’m kind of surprised you don’t have one already.”

She doesn’t say anything, just lets Clarke lead them out of the weight room and to their lockers. She doesn’t really know what to say. She doesn’t have a girlfriend because she doesn’t have time to like anyone.

Well. If she’s being honest, she might like someone. And that someone is currently telling her she should get a girlfriend.

Lexa doesn’t really know what that means. So she doesn’t say anything and just lets Clarke continue to ramble.

“More people should walk around showing off their abs. The world needs more abs.”

Lexa smiles at that.

“Sometimes I lazily consider what would happen if I just wore my sports bra to class, but I don’t think that would go over so well.”

Lexa scrunches her nose in disbelief. “What do you mean? You’re beautiful, Clarke.”

Clarke glances at her, beaming and happy. “I know, I would totally be a distraction, don’t you think?”

 _Yes_ , Lexa thinks as Clarke pulls a clean hoodie over her head. _You already are_. “Probably.”

Clarke grins as her head appears through the hole in the hoodie. A few pieces of hair fall from her bun and her face is still red and sweaty. Her eyeliner from earlier in the day is slightly smudged and her eyes are bright and happy. Lexa wasn’t lying before. She really is beautiful.

Clarke grabs her backpack, hefting it over her shoulders, so Lexa hurries to pull a pair of sweats over her legs and grab her own bag. They head out of the campus rec center together, stopping when they get to the parking lot.

“So I have something for you.” Clarke swings her backpack off one shoulder, leaning around to unzip the top pocket. Lexa watches curiously as Clarke pulls out a gift bag.

She frowns. “I didn’t realize we were exchanging gifts. I didn’t get you anything.”

Clarke just smiles. “I know. It’s kind of a thank you for helping me study.”

Lexa quirks an eyebrow in disbelief. “You didn’t need my help.”

“Okay, well.” Clarke bites her lip around an embarrassed grin and Lexa’s heart pounds just a little harder, as it seems to do so often in Clarke’s presence. “A half thank you, half Christmas present then.”

She offers the present out and Lexa gently grabs the bag by the handle. “Should I open it now?”

Clarke shrugs. “You don’t have to. There’s a present and a card.”

Lexa glances into the bag and sees a wrapped present. She grabs it with shaky hands, from the cold or from nerves she isn’t sure. She wishes she wasn’t so transparent. She takes a deep breath as she runs her fingers under the taped paper until it comes away to reveal a frame.

Lexa flips it over to the front, a feeling of wonder spreading through her as she looks at the art in the frame, a perfect drawing of a human heart in red pastel. In the middle sits a small square with the words _you are here_ scrawled in Clarke’s handwriting.

A rush of fondness sweeps over her and she looks up at Clarke with wide eyes.

“Did you draw this?”

Clarke’s hand comes up to grab at her neck and she rocks forward on her toes. “Yeah. Is it too much? I wasn’t sure, since I know we didn’t say we were going to get each other anything, but…” She shrugs.

“It’s perfect, Clarke.” Lexa’s fingers are freezing holding the frame, but she feels unmistakably and pleasantly warm. “Thank you.” She hopes Clarke can hear the sincerity in her voice, but she thinks she can because she smiles brightly.

“No, thank you. And Merry Christmas.”

They stare at each other for a brief moment, Lexa mostly at a loss for words and Clarke rocking on her toes happily. Lexa doesn’t want to say goodbye, but her phone buzzes with a text from Aden and she knows she probably should get home.

“You have to go,” Clarke says knowingly and she nods.

“It’s Aden.”

“Ah,” Clarke grins. “Well tell him I say Merry Christmas.”

Lexa feels herself smile. “He’ll be happy to hear that, actually.”

“Ooh, why, do you tell him about me?” Clarke smirks cheekily and Lexa shakes her head.

“He wants to know who’s always stealing all of my time.”

“Well he could come along and we could share you,” Clarke says. “Didn’t you teach him the value of sharing?”

Lexa rolls her eyes, deciding not to answer that. “Maybe you could come over some time.”

Clarke’s eyes light up. “I’d like that.” She steps forward and Lexa freezes as Clarke pulls her into a hug. It’s warm and solid and comfortable. Lexa exhales as Clarke starts to let go, her lips coming into contact with a spot on Lexa’s cheek. “Have a good break.”

“You too,” Lexa manages to say, watching as Clarke waggles her fingers in a wave and heads to her car a few spaces down.

Lexa gets into her own car, noting the way her heart is racing and that the spot that Clarke kissed her cheek feels on fire in contrast to the cold air biting at her nose.

//

Aden and Anya are playing video games on the couch when she walks through the door. She barely registers their bickering. Her cheek is still warm from where Clarke’s lips touched her skin.

“Lexa, look how much I’m owning Anya in this game.”

Anya scowls and leans closer to the TV. “I’m about to pull ahead, tiny nerd.”

“No way!” Aden laughs. “You’re out of practice from not playing with me in weeks.”

“And that’s why I’m about to…” She pauses and there’s an explosion from the screen, causing Anya to laugh victoriously. “Destroy you! Game over.”

“What!” Aden drops his controller on the couch in exasperation. “How?!”

Anya smirks. “Skills my man. Skills.” Then she looks over at Lexa. “What’s wrong with you?”

Lexa blinks in Anya’s direction. “What?”

“Ooh, Lex, who gave you a present?” Aden leans over the back of the couch and points to the bag in Lexa’s hand.

She looks down at Clarke’s present, almost forgetting she was carrying it. “Oh. Clarke.”

“Clarke,” Anya smirks at her and she gives Anya a look.

Aden’s face lights up in curiosity. “What is it? Can I see?”

Lexa nods and carefully hands him the frame. Anya leans over and they stare at it in silence for a moment.

“Holy shit,” Anya whispers. Then she barks out a loud laugh. “This is the cheesiest shit I have ever seen.”

Aden looks up at her, his eyes roaming over her face before he smiles. “Lexa, I think Clarke has a crush on you.”

“Aden!” She finally starts to feel like herself again and she grabs the frame back from him. “It was just a thank you for helping her study.”

Anya snorts. “I’m with the kid. That is so not _just_ a thank you present.”

“Yes it is,” Lexa argues. She can’t think it’s more, because what if it _isn’t_.

“She said you’re in her heart,” Aden says, his finger pointing at the frame. “It’s really nice.”

She fixes him with her most serious stare, but he became impervious to it long ago. “And what would you know about that, Ade?”

He looks away shyly. “Well, I would give that to Sam, but I didn’t think of it.”

“Who’s Sam?” Anya asks. “Is that your girlfriend?”

“Well not yet,” he says and both she and Anya look at each other in shock.

“Why don’t you ask her over,” Lexa suggests, moving past her surprise and feeling her protective side kick in.

Aden shakes his head, his eyes wide. “Not with Anya here, she’ll ruin everything.”

“What?” Anya scoffs, seemingly offended. “I would not. I’m cool.”

“You’ll embarrass me on purpose,” Aden mutters.

“That’s crap!” Anya looks to Lexa for confirmation. “I’ve never embarrassed Lexa in front of Clarke.”

Lexa feels a smile tug at her lips. “That’s because I am incapable of embarrassment.”

Anya is not impressed. “What about that time you choked on your Gatorade in front of Costia and I offered to give you mouth-to-mouth and you shoved me off of you?”

Lexa does her best to repress the mortification she feels at the memory. “I was perfectly fine.”

“Mhmm.” Anya shakes her head.

“Don’t worry, Lex, Anya’s just teasing because she doesn’t want you to find out about Raven.”

Anya whips her head around to look at Aden and Lexa feels her eyebrows shoot up in curiosity.  “What about Raven?”

“Aden!” Anya lunges at him, but he jumps out of her reach with a laugh.

“I saw them kissing!”

“I’m gonna murder you, kid!” Anya shoots off the couch and starts chasing him around the room, Aden scampering out of the way just in time.

Lexa snaps her mouth shut from where it was hanging open. “Kissing?”

“Making out in Raven’s car,” Aden corrects. Anya leaps over the couch at him and he swats her hands away to hide behind Lexa, his entire body shaking with laughter.

“I said I was going to tell her tomorrow!” Anya practically snarls, but Lexa can see she isn’t really mad.

“Oops,” Aden giggles, spinning Lexa to shield him.

Lexa holds her hands between them. “Can someone please explain what is happening?”

“Raven and I are dating.” Anya deadpans, before lunging once more at Aden. She grabs his arm and starts to tickle him in the side.

“No, Anya! Stop! Stop! Anya!” He barely manages to escape, gasping out breaths through labored laughter.

“Dating?” Lexa asks. She has no idea where this has come from.

Anya finally gives up chasing Aden and looks up at Lexa. Her face breaks out into one of the most genuine smiles Lexa has ever seen on her. “Yeah.” She pauses. “At least, I think.”

“What do you mean, you think?” Lexa studies Anya curiously.

Anya crosses her arms and leans back against the couch. “We’ve been seeing each other since before Halloween.”

“Okay…”

Anya sighs. “We haven’t actually said we’re together, so I guess I’m not sure.”

“Why don’t you ask her out?” Aden asks and Anya sticks her tongue out at him.

“Why don’t you ask Sam out?”

He sticks his tongue out right back. “Fine I will if you ask out Raven.”

“Fine.”

“You should ask her now,” Lexa says, surprising herself. She honestly has no idea how this even happened, but Anya hasn’t dated anyone more than casually since they met. Maybe it’s the romance of the holidays, or maybe it’s Clarke’s gift, or maybe Anya’s beaming smile when she said they were dating, so different than her usual tilted smirk.

Anya pauses. “Right now?”

“Go to her house!” Aden practically screams. “Like in that movie we just watched!”

“ _Love, Actually_?” Anya asks.

“Yes!”

Anya scowls. “She’s married to someone else and they don’t even end up together. And Raven lives in an apartment.”

Lexa laughs. “Since when do you watch rom-coms?”

“Aden made me,” Anya grumbles.                                                                                    

“Go to her house!” Aden says again.

Lexa grins, making her voice lower to imitate Anya’s. “I’m with the kid. Go to her house.”

Anya stares at them, her mouth turned down in a frown. Then her eyes move away once before she looks back at them and nods, slowly at first then quicker. “Yeah, okay. I will.”

“You will?” Lexa asks.

“Nice,” Aden says. He grabs Anya’s keys off the table and tosses them to her. She catches them and he punches the air triumphantly. She and Anya both laugh.

Anya pulls on her coat and heads to the door with a salute. “I’ll be back, then.”

“Have fun making out,” Aden yells after her.

“Watch it, kid!” Then the door shuts behind her.

Lexa hums, looking over at Aden. “So do you want to tell me about Sam?”

His eyes go wide and he looks down at his wrist. “Wow would you look at the time! Past my bedtime for sure. School tomorrow and everything. Goodnight!” Then he twists himself around the banister and clambers up the stairs, a “ _love you!”_ thrown over his shoulder.

Lexa shakes her head fondly. What has gotten into everyone tonight?

//

“I can’t eat another bite,” Octavia moans from the floor in front of the couch. “Why did you let me do that?”

Raven and Clarke exchange a look across the table at each other. “We told you not to eat the entire pizza by yourself,” Clarke shrugs. “You didn’t listen.”

She lets out another groan. “I never thought pizza would hurt me this way.”

Raven rolls her eyes in Octavia’s direction. “Must be a hard life.”

There’s another incoherent grunting sound from by the couch, followed by a knock on the door.

Clarke and Raven look at it, then back at each other.

“Did you invite someone?” Clarke asks.

Raven shakes her head. “No did you?”

“O, is Bellamy or Linc coming over?” Clarke calls toward the couch.

“Nooooo,” Octavia moans. “They’re at the gym.”

The knock comes again, more insistent this time, and Raven sighs and throws her piece of pizza back on her plate. “Okay coming! Where’s the fire?”

Clarke watches curiously as Raven opens the door, not being able to see who it is from her spot at the table.

“Hey,” whoever it is says, and Clarke recognizes the voice, but can’t place it. Someone on the team.

“Anya?”

Clarke nods to herself and takes a bite of the slice Raven had abandoned to answer the door, wondering what Anya wants… at their house… at ten at night. She furrows her eyebrows.  

“Yeah, hey. I need to ask you something,” Anya says quietly and Clarke strains her ears to hear, her curiosity piquing.

“Right now?” Raven tries to step outside with her, but Anya doesn’t move.

“Yes, listen. I think we should date. Officially.”

Clarke lets out a squeak of surprise and drops the pizza slice. Over by the couch Octavia lets out another muted sound, not unlike a caveman.

Raven seems glued to her spot in the doorway. Clarke can’t see her face, but she imagines she looks similar to that time in high school before Clarke had come out as bi and Raven walked in on her kissing a girl.

Anya continues, perhaps unsure she has an audience or maybe she just doesn’t care.

“You’re a pain in my ass and you drive me nuts, but I like spending time with you. Even if it’s just studying in the library. Arguing with you this semester was the most fun I’ve had in almost four years at this dumb school. You’re pretty great, and I think you think I’m pretty great too, because obviously I am. And I think we would be really fucking great _together_.”

Clarke’s not sure anyone in the room is breathing. She’s never heard Anya speak so many words at once before. Also what the fuck? Raven and Anya? Since _when_?

“Okay, excuse me, _you’re_ the pain in the ass here,” Raven finally says, the obstinate crossing of her arms visible even from behind. “It’s not _my_ fault you can’t study when people tap their pens.”

Anya huffs. “You’re the one who won’t stop tapping their pen! It’s distracting to everyone!”

“Nobody ever complained!”

“I did!”

“Well I told you a million times, nobody was making you study there!” Raven throws her hands in the air. “You could just leave!”

There’s a pause. “Well, I didn’t _want_ to.”

“Umm what the hell?!” Octavia finally pushes herself up from the floor. Clarke awkwardly stands up, unsure if their presence is welcome or not.

Raven turns around and the door opens more fully, causing Anya to finally come into view. Her eyes are narrowed in their direction, her cheeks red from the cold. She crosses her arms over her chest and Clarke tilts her fingers in a short wave.

“Anya and I are dating,” Raven says. “Have been. For a few months.”

Octavia chokes on air. “What!” She looks to Clarke for help, but Clarke shrugs. She didn’t know either. “Why didn’t you _tell_ us?”

Raven rolls her eyes. “Because we were just feeling it out and we didn’t want to cause team drama if it didn’t work out.” She pauses and glances back over her shoulder at Anya before looking back at them. “But I guess…” She clears her throat and pulls Anya up next to her, gesturing with a dramatic flourish in her direction. “Clarke, O, this is my girlfriend, Anya.”

“We know who Anya is,” Octavia intones, clearly still in shock.

“Girlfriend?” Clarke asks.

“Nice,” Anya says. She slings her arm across Raven’s shoulders and Raven reaches up with one hand to tangle their fingers together.

Octavia’s eyes bulge out of her face comically. “Ew, what the hell?”

Raven looks from Octavia to Clarke, unamused. “Anyway.”

Clarke smiles, her brain finally catching up to the situation. “Well, that’s great I’m happy for you guys.”

“What the hell,” Octavia repeats.

“What Octavia means is that she’s glad you guys are together because she knows what it’s like to not know if the person you like is on the same page as you - cough Lincoln cough - Right O?” Clarke gives her a pointed look.

Octavia continues to gape as Anya lets out a harsh laugh. “Whatever you say, Clarke.”

Clarke glances at her questioningly. “What?”

“Nothing.” Anya just smirks in that infuriating way she does and Clarke narrows her eyes.

“Anyway,” Raven says again, stepping out from Anya’s arm but keeping their fingers tangled. She starts to pull Anya down the hall. “We’ll be in my room. Don’t come in.”

Clarke grins sarcastically at them. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Raven’s door shuts solidly as if to back up her words, leaving Clarke standing there with Octavia near the front door.

Octavia looks at her, eyes still wide in confusion.

“What the hell?”

//

**O**

YO ANYA AND RAVEN ARE DATING TF WHO KNEW THIS AND DIDN’T TELL ME

**Monroe**

wait what

**Ontari**

???????????????????????????????

**HARPER**

aw that’s nice

**Gina ‘Mom’ Boobeena**

really?

**Monroe**

yeah really? are you sure???

**Snark Griffin**

I was there I can confirm

**Ontari**

ew what

**O**

that’s what I said

**Ontari**

don’t agree with me on things it’s weird and is throwing off the team dynamic

**HARPER**

lol

**Snark Griffin**

umm since when has my name been Snark Griffin in here????

**Commander Lexa**

Since Raven first added you

**O**

LEXA?!

**Monroe**

Lexa

**HARPER**

(Face Screaming In Fear )

**Commander Lexa**

Hello…

**O removed Snark Griffin from the chat**

**O added Bark Griffin** (Dog Face ) **to the chat**

**Bark Griffin** (Dog Face )

really???

 **Monroe removed Bark Griffin** (Dog Face ) **from the chat**

**Monroe added Dark Griffin** (New Moon With Face ≊ New Moon Face) **to the chat**

**Dark Griffin** (New Moon With Face ≊ New Moon Face)

okay guys seriously

 **HARPER removed Dark Griffin** (New Moon With Face ≊ New Moon Face) **from the chat**

**HARPER added Shark Griffin** ** (Dolphin ) ** **to the chat**

**Ontari**

tf Harp that’s a dolphin

**Ontari removed Shark Griffin** ** (Dolphin ) ** **from the chat**

**Ontaria added Ark Griffin** ** (Speedboat ) ** **to the chat**

**Ark Griffin** ** (Speedboat ) **

Okay can we

 **O removed Ark Griffin** **(Speedboat )** **from the chat**

 **O added** **(Crown )** **PRINCESS** **(Crown )** **to the chat**

 **(Crown )** **PRINCESS** **(Crown )**

can we be done with this now

**O**

:)

//

Lexa sets her phone on her side table and plugs it into her charger. Their group chat is way too crazy, that’s why she never talks in there. She’s glad Anya talked to Raven though. Anya deserves someone who makes her happy.

The thought makes her eyes travel over to her desk and the small frame she’d just set there. The sight of it makes her smile to herself. Clarke is a good artist, and if she wasn’t intending to go into the medical field, Lexa thinks she could make a name for herself selling her art.

Her phone buzzes on the table and she grabs it.

Speaking of Clarke…

 **Clarke (10:41pm):** Did you know about Anya and Raven?

Lexa smiles to herself.

 **Lexa (10:42pm):** No I just found out before she went over to your apartment.

 **Clarke (10:44pm):** Thanks for the warning!

 **Lexa (10:45pm):** It wasn’t official yet. That’s why she went over.

 **Clarke (10:47pm):** Yeah… Def accidentally heard that convo

 **Lexa (10:49pm):** Oh. Is Anya staying over? She might come after you in your sleep now…

 **Clarke (10:51pm):** ha ha very funny

 **Clarke (10:51pm):** wait she wouldn’t really would she

 **Lexa (10:53pm):** Of course not, Clarke

 **Clarke (10:54pm):** that was rude Lex don’t scare me like that

 **Lexa (10:56pm):** I don’t know why you keep saying I’m rude. I have been told I’m quite polite.

 **Clarke (10:57pm):** Well those people obv don’t know the real you

 **Lexa (10:58pm):** And you do, Clarke?

 **Clarke (11:05pm):** Yes

 **Lexa (11:08pm):** Okay

 **Clarke (11:10pm):** Goodnight Lexa (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)(Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)

 **Lexa (11:11pm):** Goodnight Clarke

She lies back on her bed, a smile on her face. She knows she shouldn’t be feeling so… giddy? just texting Clarke, but she can’t help it.

She thinks back to her exam and the question about Babel, and it dawns on her that Clarke makes her feel like the world before Babel, before God came down and scattered all the languages and people to different corners of the Earth. She feels like the time when there was unity and everyone understood each other.

Or maybe her entire life, she’s felt like the world post-Babel, like everyone is speaking a different language from her and she can’t understand anyone and nobody can understand her. But then she met Clarke. And suddenly in an ocean of chaos there was an island of peace. If Lexa’s been sifting through a desert of confusion, a place where she always feels slightly on the outside of everything, then being around Clarke is like an oasis of understanding.

For maybe the first time, Lexa feels like someone was made from the same material as her, cut from the same cloth, made for the same things. For the first time, someone _gets_ her.

And that someone is Clarke Griffin.


	2. Interlude - Anya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sometimes she feels like she’s spent her entire life chasing big things she can’t quite catch, like whenever she feels something big, it still doesn’t feel quite big enough. She’s never been one to want to settle for the little things, for the singles and doubles. She wants that big-hit, shoot-for-the-stars, grand-slam kind of feeling. If it’s not over the fence, it’s not big enough."

Anya grew up in a small town, her house ten minutes from Lake Michigan and settled off of a dirt road in a neighborhood that was more like a cluster of three houses in a wooded clearing than it was a neighborhood.

Her town was like any other small town, friendly if they liked you, inescapable if they didn’t. Summer was spent on the lake, forcing politeness with tourists, and winter was quiet, spent curled up near the fire with a book. The sun was quick to rise and slow to set, and life moved at a pace that made clock hands seem to stick on each minute just a tick too long.

Anya liked her small town, liked the woods that she lived in and paddle boarding on the lake in the summer. She had little patience for tourists and always seemed on the verge of snapping at her gossip-obsessed classmates. Still, it was where she grew up, and it was home.

There were perks of living in a small town, like everyone knowing everyone and people always wanting to help you out in whatever way they could. And there were definitely cons of living in a small town, like everyone knowing everyone and people always wanting to help you out in whatever way they could. It was a double-edged sword if she ever saw one.

Small towns are a community, but they’re also a bubble, and they certainly offer _a way_ of life, but they can’t always offer everything you _want_ from life, and what Anya wanted from life was to play softball.

Small towns didn’t have a lot of competition, and their teams weren’t exactly on college radars, but Anya herself was competitive and she desperately wanted to play in college. And so her parents, being the supportive parents that they are, would drive her an hour away from her small town twice a week for practice, and even further on the weekends for games.

But driving was also part of living in small towns, which aren’t exactly job factories, so her parents were used to it, both of them driving at least forty minutes to their own jobs in that slightly-bigger-but-still-pretty-small town down the highway.

And as Anya grew older she had to wonder – why live in a small town when everything they needed was always down the road? When she asked her dad that, he smiled and pointed at her Legos in the corner of the room before dumping them out on the floor in front of them.

“Imagine you’re building a pyramid,” he said, “but the smaller the Lego, the closer it has to be to the ground.”

And Anya was never into math, but even she knew that’s not really how geometry works.

“You can’t,” she’d said, picking up the smallest of the Legos. “The small ones go at the top.”

Her dad had shaken his head, and taken a bunch of the smallest Legos in his hands. He sat them side by side by side until, when they were all next to each other, they formed a big enough area to stack a larger Lego on top. He did this again, and again, until he could stack a line of medium sized Legos on top of the smaller Legos. Then he did the same with the medium sized Legos until he could finally set the biggest Lego on the top, forming the peak of the pyramid.

“Happiness is like this pyramid,” he said. “Little things have to form the base. That might mean you need more small sources of happiness to get to the bigger amounts of happiness, but if you were to lose the one big source of happiness in your life,” and at this he pushed over the pyramid, and she watched as the top two layers fell to the carpet, “you still would have several small sources to build on again.” He pointed to the smallest Legos, still clustered together and upright on the carpet.

“So…” She had looked up, confused. “If your bigger sources of happiness go away, you still have a bunch of little ones to fall back on?”

Her dad nodded, eyes soft and encouraging in a way she was certain hers never were. “You’re going to have some awesome big things that make you happy in the future,” he said. “But if something happens to those big things, just know, you can always build it back up. You can always work your way back to the big things, but you have to start small and go from there.”

Anya guesses she understood. Small towns were full of small happinesses to fall back on. And she liked the small things, like the hummingbirds in the feeder in the spring, and the just-right way the air smelled after the first snow of the season.

But she also liked the big things, like her summer team winning the state championship, and getting recruited by college coaches, and kissing a pretty girl for the very first time, the moon shining both in the sky and on the lake while her heart fluttered like a butterfly in her chest.

So the moment her time came to leave the small things and the small town and her small chances of feeling bigger than she is, she took it, and she didn’t look back.

//

Sometimes she feels like she’s spent her entire life chasing big things she can’t quite catch, like whenever she feels something big, it still doesn’t feel quite big _enough_. Sometimes she can’t help but wonder when exactly she’s going to add the biggest Lego to the top of the pyramid, when exactly every bigger thing she adds won’t just actually be a slightly bigger Lego expanding the base.

She feels like she’s always chasing it, like she’ll never quite find it, like when people talk about the best moment of their lives, she can’t relate because she’s sure hers hasn’t happened yet.

Nobody really gets this part of her, the part that is both her missing piece and her tip-top Lego. Lexa is the person who’s come the closest, with her drive to be better and to never settle. She thinks that’s why they get along so well, why they always seemed to click since day one. She thinks that’s why Lexa never looks at her weird or questions what she’s doing when Anya does something spontaneous, like changing her major from Communications to Classics, or spending the summer avoiding her small town by going on an excavation in Greece.

She always feels like these things add to her pyramid of happiness, but they’re never quite peak level, so she keeps chasing and chasing, a little faster, a little farther.

She’s never been one to want to settle for the little things, for the singles and doubles. She wants that big-hit, shoot-for-the-stars, grand-slam kind of feeling. If it’s not over the fence, it’s not big enough.

//

Don’t misread this situation though. Anya’s a fan of some little things.

Well, _one_ little thing, at least.

“ANYA!”

She cringes as a prepubescent boy jumps on her back.

“Oomph.”

Okay, she thinks, maybe one medium-sized thing?

“Get off me, tiny nerd.”

Aden giggles (legit, giggles), and holds on tighter. “Why? Did you become a weakling while you were in Greece?”

She scowls and swings her body around, pretending to try to knock him off. She never actually would. He’s cool. For a thirteen year old. “Keep dreaming little man. Feels more like you ate twice your weight in cookies over the summer.”

He kicks at her playfully. “Lexa would never let me eat that many cookies.”

“I didn’t say Lexa knew about it.” She eyes him over her shoulder, his nose centimeters from her cheek, and he grins. “Alright, alright, get down. Got something for you.”

His arms slide away from her neck and he climbs off her back. “What is it?”

She goes to where she was unpacking her suitcase before he found her and digs to the bottom, pulling out a small bag. When she turns back around, Aden’s eyes zero in on it. She holds back her smile and hands him the bag.

He opens it, and with careful hands, pulls out the small figurine. He holds it up near his face, examining it. “Is this a knight?”

She smiles. “No. A gladiator. I got it when we visited Rome.” She pulls out her phone and flips through her pictures while he pokes at the small figure’s sword. “See?” She lets him look through the photos she took of the Coliseum. “They used to have gladiator fights there.”

“Cool.” He stares at the figurine again. “Who did they fight?”

She laughs. “Different things. Wild animals. Each other.”

His eyes widen, but he doesn’t look away from the statue in his hand. “Each other? Did they die?”

She frowns. “Yes, sometimes.”

“Why were they fighting?”

She hums thoughtfully. “Well, for entertainment, I guess.”

Aden scrunches his nose. “Like for fun?” She nods. “That’s dumb. Fighting to death is stupid, I would never do that.”

She snorts out a laugh and ruffles his hair. “That’s good to hear.”

He sits on her bed and asks her questions about her summer while she continues to unpack, then she listens while he rambles on about some stuff he learned about constellations and astronomy over the break.

It’s nice, not that she’d ever tell Lexa her brother wasn’t a little shit, but after being away for a long time, it feels like home.

//

Lexa goes to pitch with their new catcher before the season starts because she has no chill whatsoever, so Anya’s babysitting. Although, she totally resents the word babysitting. Aden is thirteen years old and stays home by himself sometimes. He doesn’t need a babysitter.

Still, Lexa feels guilty leaving him alone all the time, so Anya guesses she doesn’t mind hanging out with him once in a while. Except when it’s Sunday and he’s hungry and demanding lunch, and she’s lazy and just got back for the summer and has no food.

Whatever. They’re getting donuts.

(Fuck the team’s nutrition guidelines. She does what she wants.)

It’s still warm out so they drive to the café with the windows down. She feels mellow and content so she lets Aden play whatever songs he wants through her phone while she drives, her sunglasses perched low on her nose and the soft breeze blowing her hair around her forehead when she picks up speed.

It’s the best kind of last-day-of-summer, and she’s soaking it in like it’s her job.

“Hey, can I get one with sprinkles _and_ one with chocolate?” Aden looks at her expectantly when they’ve headed into the café and are standing in line.

She knows Lexa would say no, but Anya’s not Lexa so, whatever. “Sure.”

She orders the biggest cappuccino they have and leads Aden to a table in the back, but pauses when she sees someone sitting in a booth by the window. Her hair is down and she’s leaning so low to the table that Anya almost doesn’t recognize her.

“Raven?”

Aden walks straight into her back as she stops and she almost spills her coffee.

Raven glances up in confusion, her eyes far away. She takes a second to register Anya’s there, but when she does, a large smile tugs at her lips. “Anya. Hey.”

From her side, Aden glances up at Anya and back to Raven curiously. His eyes focus on a small rectangular object on the table, whatever it was Raven was looking at before Anya had interrupted. Anya bites back her smile and gently nudges Aden forward.

“This is Aden. Aden, this is Raven.”

“Hi,” he murmurs, sort of shy but not impolite. “Raven. You play second base.”

Raven beams. “Anya, did you find our number one fan?”

Anya scoffs even though Aden nods. She sighs and nudges Aden into the booth across from Raven. Looks like they’re doing this. “He’s Lexa’s brother.”

Raven’s eyes widen, but her smile stays in place as she looks Aden up and down. He’s got chocolate on his lip from biting into his donut. Anya throws a napkin at his face. He sticks his tongue out at her, but wipes the chocolate away anyway.

Raven just raises her eyebrows. “Huh.”

“Are you building a robot?” Aden asks, pointing to the metallic rectangle between them on the table.

Anya feels her eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but Raven laughs loudly, drawing the attention of the old couple at the table next to them. Aden frowns uncertainly.

“Why do you think I’m building a robot?”

Aden shrugs. “My sister says you’re an engineer. I saw a movie on the Discovery channel about some engineers who were building a robot that could create new music that was pleasing to humans. They said in ten years, songwriters wouldn’t even be able to compete with robots anymore.”

Raven’s eyes flicker to meet Anya’s. She shrugs in response (she’s used to Aden’s questions and fun facts) and Raven looks back at Aden.

“That’s interesting,” Raven murmurs slowly, as if considering what she wants to say. “And pretty cool. They must be some smart engineers.” She pauses and Aden nods quickly.

“My sister says you’re really smart.”

Raven tilts her head to the side playfully. “Wow. Maybe I should ask her out.”

Anya has to hold herself back from both kicking Raven under the table and laughing. She settles on a scowl instead. Raven is very pointedly looking only at Aden, and Anya can see she’s trying not to smile too wide.

“Well,” Aden says. “Do you like girls? Lexa does, but I think she’s kind of busy. That’s what she said last year anyway when Costia – ”

Anya quickly puts her hand on his cheek and gives a light push. “Okay, that’s enough.” Raven is smiling like the cat that caught the canary and Anya internally groans. Lexa would kill her if she knew about this.

“Sorry,” Aden smiles sheepishly. “Lexa says I ask too many questions.”

“Well, that’s a bunch of crap, dude.” Raven taps the table between them. “Don’t let anyone ever tell you that. It’s our job as scientists to ask questions.”

Aden tilts his head to the side curiously. “I thought you were an engineer.”

“I’m both.” Raven slides the rectangle closer and Anya sees it’s some kind of circuit board. “And I’m not really building a robot. I’m building something cooler.”

Aden stares at the circuit board, eyes wide. “What is it?”

“A satellite.”

Anya lifts an eyebrow as Aden’s face scrunches in confusion, or disappointment, or maybe both.

“Ah, I see. You think this isn’t cool.” Raven sighs forlornly. “People always think the robotics dudes are the cool ones, but you know what’s cool? Sending shit to space.”

Aden leans forward with barely concealed awe. “That’s going into space?”

“Well, this is just a mini prototype, but eventually we’ll build the bigger one and it will.”  She points to the circuit board. “It’s going in a satellite, which will collect data and send it back to a computer on Earth.”

“What kind of data?”

Raven shrugs easily. “Well, this one is going to do GPS stuff. But some satellites collect atmospheric data. Some can collect information about water and soil by sending radio waves down to the ground.” She raises her eyebrows at him. “See, it’s pretty cool, right?”

Aden nods slowly. “Yeah,” he admits. “It’s pretty cool.”

Raven grins triumphantly and Anya nudges Aden. “Careful or her ego will be visible from that satellite. ”

“How does it get into space?” Aden asks, effectively ignoring Anya now that Raven has proven herself to be the coolest person at the table. Whatever.

“Rocket launch,” Raven says.

Aden’s mouth falls open. “Do you build the rocket too?”

“I… well.” Raven grits her teeth and sighs. “Creative differences are an unfortunate part of science.”

Anya hides her smirk by taking a sip of coffee. “Creative differences.”

“That’s right.”

“What do you mean?” Aden asks.

Raven pauses, before straightening in her seat. “My ideas were just too big and there was… a disagreement. I got… uh, well let’s say, ‘delegated’ to this.” She points to the circuit board again and meets Aden’s gaze as if preparing for deeper questioning, but Aden seems satisfied.

“It would be so cool to build a rocket,” he sighs, biting into his donut a little wistfully.

“Maybe someday you will,” Raven says.

Aden looks to Anya, his eyes wide and uncertain. “Can I do that?”

She hums and tilts her head in his direction. “Remember what I told you about working for things you want?”

He frowns, but nods. “Yeah. Nothing is too big to be impossible.”

“Truth,” Raven agrees.

Aden asks Raven a few more questions about rockets and her satellite, but then Raven has to head out. Anya figures Lexa will be back soon anyway, so she finishes her coffee and drives them back. She knows it’s not really Raven’s fault, but she absentmindedly wonders for how many weeks Aden is going to be obsessed with rockets now.

Not that she doesn’t support him in whatever he does. He’s practically her little brother. It’s just that she knows nothing about rockets, and Lexa is right.

He always has so many questions.

//

**Anya (3:52pm):** Did you really get kicked off your rocket project because of disagreements

**Raven (3:55pm):** “Disagreements” is a totally flexible term that I stand by

**Anya (3:58pm):** You blew it up didn’t you

**Raven (4:02pm):** (Collision Symbol ≊ Collision)(Rocket )(Collision Symbol ≊ Collision)  

//

There are many times at practice that Anya feels irritated, but few things make her want to scream.

Bunting practice, unfortunately, is one of those things.

“Let the ball come to the bat!” Indra snarls at her for the fifth time. “Quit lunging at it like some clumsy buffoon.”

Anya huffs, biting her tongue to hold back the retort that threatens to break free and would no doubt cost her a set of laps around the field.

It’s not that Anya doesn’t see the point in bunting. She does. Just not for _her_. Holding her bat out in the zone and waiting for the pitch to hit it so that it goes approximately one fucking foot in front of home plate?

So not her style. She’s more of an attack-the-ball, swing-for-the-fences, homerun, grand-slam kind of girl.

She jogs to the back of the practice line, watching as Octavia steps up to the plate. Lexa throws her pitch and Octavia lets the ball come to the bat, no lunging, no pushing, none of that shit Anya always accidentally does. It hits the bat and falls to the ground, spinning perfectly to land halfway between home plate and the pitcher’s mound. If this was a game, the defense would have to run to pick it up, and by that time, Octavia would already be safe at first.

Anya sighs. She just isn’t a small ball, small game type of player. She never has been.

“Fundamentals,” Raven says from in front of her. “You just have to go back to the basics. Start small.”

Anya grunts. “Do I look basic to you?”

Raven grins from under the face mask of her helmet. “Well you were drinking a cappuccino the other day. It’s a _little_ basic.”

Anya wants to reply, to snap back something clever that will be both savage and hilarious and make Raven roll her eyes and maybe smile just a little bit bigger –

But then Kane’s blowing his whistle and practice is ending.

Anya frowns and Raven shoots her another cheeky smile over her shoulder as she walks to pack up her stuff. It drills at something inside her, like the pounding of a nail on her ribcage, stopping just deep enough to leave a mark, but not deep enough to crack.

She huffs in frustration and follows the team off the field.

 Whatever.

What does Raven know about it anyway?

//

Anya’s stressed.

It’s the second week and she already feels like she’s drowning in her workload. She has a paper due next Tuesday and an exam coming up after that. With practice and prep for their upcoming preseason fall games taking up her remaining time and energy, she’s shifted to a diet of coffee and the apples Lexa magically manages to keep stocked in the fridge despite how quickly their household goes through them.

She has a headache, and it’s probably a little bit to do with the coffee overload, and a little bit to do with the fact that she’s only eaten an apple that day, but mostly it’s because of the library.

You’d think the library would be some kind of safe-haven of quiet and peace, but Anya needs a very specific kind of environment to get work done. That environment is not her living room, which usually is filled with sounds of Xbox-generated explosions and small feet running up and down the stairs, and it’s definitely not the library, which is filled with whispers and pen-tapping and keyboard clicking and the constant getting-up-and-sitting-down of students coming and going.

Anya needs stillness, she needs quiet, she needs isolation.

Yet, here she is, stomping (yep, she’s goddamn stomping) her way through the library, peering into nooks and crannies, eyes scanning every table and chair. She has a shit ton of Virgil translations due tomorrow and she can’t figure out these last two pages and she can’t fucking find Bellamy. What’s the point of having your teammate’s brother in your hardest class if you can’t force him to help you with your homework? And sure, she guesses she could ask Octavia where he is, or even Lincoln, but her headache? Yeah it’s growing to an incessant pounding above her left eye and her patience is wearing thin, so she’d rather just cut the middle man crap and seriously _why isn’t Bellamy in any of his usual places in the library for fuck’s sake?_

She’s practically snarling in frustration as she glances through the window of the last room he could possibly be (but couldn’t really even possibly be) – the private athletic room.

She knows he’s not there but she came all this way and might as well cover all her bases. And she was right, there’s no Bellamy, just a few giants from the basketball team and a guy she thinks is the football quarterback, but let’s be real she doesn’t really care about the football team (they’re losers), so who’s to really say. There’s some rugby girls monopolizing the back corner (Anya knows they’re rugby because she’s definitely made out with at least two of them but they were boring so she doesn’t really care much for them).

And there’s Raven.

Anya swipes her card for access and pushes open the door. Her head is still pounding and the air conditioning of the room makes her shiver as her feet guide her until she’s standing in front of Raven, staring down at the quick of her wrist as it scratches a lines of equations across her notebook until she glances up.

“Anya. Hey.”

Raven smiles at her in that way she always seems to be smiling, that way Anya can’t quite replicate, genuine and easy and bright.

“Hey.” And her voice sounds so scratchy and deep, and she scowls at herself, willing her bad mood and headache away. Raven’s smile just tilts higher, her eyelashes fluttering in a way that makes Anya feel softer.

“What’s up?”

And she came over to ask about Bellamy, to see if Raven had seen him, but Raven’s leaning back in her chair, her pencil twirling between her fingers and Anya pauses. Raven’s grin is borderline maddening on Anya’s headache and there’s a piece of lint on her hoodie that Anya can’t stop looking at and now that she thinks about it, she’s never quite noticed just how brown Raven’s eyes are.

“Can I sit here?” She asks, and Raven only shows her surprise with a little uplift in her eyebrows that’s so slight Anya might have imagined it. Except she didn’t, because she’s also never noticed this either, really, but Raven has nice eyebrows.

She needs to stop staring.

“Yeah, of course.” Raven kicks the chair across from her out a little from the table and it scratches across the thin carpet, drawing an annoyed glare their way from the rugby girls. Anya stares back until they look away.

(Okay, she’s definitely made out with at least three of them.

Whatever. Like she said, they’re boring.)

She pulls out her Virgil and decides she might as well check over it again. Now that she’s here, she’s here (kinda accidentally but whatever), so she’s going to make the most of it. Bellamy is lousy at Virgil anyway. She doesn’t know why she thought she needed his help in the first place. Must be because she’s only eaten that apple.

She really should have had something more solid.  

She twists her lips and opens her book, fingers sliding down the last few pages of the assigned translation. They work in silence for a while, Anya’s headache growing with every minute.

Fuck Virgil.

“Do you have a pencil?” Anya looks across the table, watching as Raven holds her mechanical pencil up to her ear and shakes. Raven sighs. “Out of lead.”

Anya rolls her eyes and tosses her pen across the table, then grabs her bag to search for a new one to use.

Raven hums. “This is a pen.”

Anya quirks her eyebrows as she uncaps her new pen. “Sure is.”

“Do you have a pencil?”

“No.” Anya frowns. “What’s wrong with pen?”

Raven holds up her notebook, aggressively pointing at the complex equations she’s already written. “You can’t do these equations in _pen_ , Anya. That’s like a musician writing music in pen. What if I have to erase?”

“Not my problem, nerd.”

“You’re reading Greek.”

“It’s Latin.”

Raven scoffs. “Well it’s all Greek to _me_.”

Anya rolls her eyes. “That’s _Shakespeare_.”

“I bet Shakespeare wrote in _pencil_.”

“The only handwritten works they have of Shakespeare’s are like six of his signatures and they’re all in ink. Even if they weren’t, erasers weren’t invented until after his death.”

Raven obnoxiously taps her fingers against the table. “Anyone ever tell you you’re kind of a know-it-all?”

Anya smirks. “Funny I’ve almost asked you that same thing like twelve times since we met.”

“Ha.” Raven picks up Anya’s pen, staring at it like it might cause her equations to spontaneously burst into flames. Well, it is _Raven_ , Anya thinks. Anything is possible. “I’m only a know-it-all about _this_ , thank you very much.” She jabs toward her notebook with the pen.

“Yeah, well, then I’m giving Aden your number. He won’t stop asking me questions about rockets.”

“Go for it,” Raven grins. “He’s a cool kid.”

Anya hums in agreement. “He’s alright.”

Raven smiles like Anya’s made of the thinnest glass, like she can see right through her. “You should bring him around the team. They’d love him.”

“Not my decision,” Anya shrugs. “He’s Lexa’s brother.”

“So why doesn’t she?”

“Probably so he wouldn’t meet you and decide he has an interest in blowing things up.”

Raven laughs and Anya feels her own smile involuntarily tug at her lips. “I’d argue with you, but it’s just so fun to blow things up.”

Anya shakes her head, her own laughter getting caught somewhere between her chest and her throat as Raven’s smile grows. It tugs at a place deep within her, a place of warmth and uncertainty. She wants something in this moment, but she doesn’t know what. She just knows she doesn’t want Raven to stop smiling.

And Raven doesn’t, she just scrunches her nose and tosses Anya’s pen back across the table. “I can’t write with this. Maybe one of those soccer girls has an extra pencil.”

“Rugby girls,” Anya says.

“Rugby?” Raven glances over her shoulder. “How do you know?”

Anya just shrugs.

“Huh,” Raven hums. “Kay well. Be right back.”

Anya’s eyes follow her as she gets up and walks over to the girls, her hands in her jean pockets and smiling like it’s the easiest thing she’s ever done. Raven says something, gesturing over her shoulder, and a few of the rugby girls glance over in Anya’s direction. She narrows her eyes at them and they look away.

She watches as Raven leans against the table, confident and cool, and Anya feels heat under her ribcage, quick and biting, and she hates it and she doesn’t know why. One of the girls hands Raven a pencil and Raven smiles at her, that genuine smile that Anya finds painful to look at and unbearable to look away from. That one she never wants to leave Raven’s face.

Anya rolls her eyes at herself and grabs her book, jamming it back into her backpack. “See you later, Raven,” she calls just loud enough to carry over to the other table.

Raven lifts a quick hand in a salute before grinning back down at the girl who gave her the pencil. Anya scowls.

She’s not gonna get any work done here anyway. And like she said. Those girls are boring.

So like. Whatever.

//

“Are you sure you don’t want to come to the party?”

Lexa hums from behind the book she’s reading, some boring looking nonfiction thing for class. “I can’t leave Aden.”

“You leave him with Gus all the time when we have away games,” Anya argues and pulls on her leather jacket. “What’s the difference?”

“That’s for games and it _is_ different and you know it.”

“You need to get out more.”

Lexa holds her book up, lips turned down in disapproval. “I have reading to do.”

“It’s Saturday.”

“Is this your version of whining? I don’t like it.”

Anya scoffs. “I don’t _whine_.”

Lexa raises an eyebrow. “It sounds like whining.”

“Oh fuck off.” Anya rolls her eyes and grabs her keys. “Fine, I’ll go alone.”

Lexa goes back to her book as Anya pulls open the door. “Don’t wake me up when you come stumbling in later!”

She flips Lexa her middle finger as she leaves and just barely hears her laugh as the door closes behind her.

//

There aren’t that many people at the party, but the crowd seems thick and claustrophobic in Harper and Monroe’s small apartment. It’s mostly the team, but there are a few boyfriends and friends scattered between groups of softball girls.

She’s sure Lexa would hate it.

“ANYA!” Anya grunts as a body knocks into her side and an arm drapes over her shoulder. “You’re here!”

Anya raises an eyebrow and steps out from under the arm, watching as Octavia sinks down from standing on her tip-toes. “And you’re drunk. Already.”

Octavia gasps, affronted. “Tipsy, hello.”

“Sure.”

Octavia points behind her with an exaggerated scowl. “There’s beer pong and Ontari and Monroe have defeated, like, everyone. Help us, Obi-Wanya. You’re our only hoe.”

Anya laughs. “I’m not drunk enough for beer pong.”

“O, you did not just call her Obi-Wanya.” Raven steps into their space, red Solo cups in both hands. She hands one to Octavia. “Damn, why didn’t I think of that? You don’t even like Star Wars.”

“Raven you have a print-out of that Carrie Fisher tweet on your wall.”

“Yeah, well.” Raven take a sip of her drink. “That tweet was iconic.”

Anya sighs. “I don’t know you people.”

They stare at her, then look at each other, then back at her. “You love us,” they both say, then high-five.

Anya blinks. “Terror Twins,” she whispers as she turns away from them. “I need a drink.”

Raven follows her to the kitchen. “Stay away from the punch. I think Jasper put his special moonshine in it.”

“Great.” Anya crinkles her nose and digs in some random cooler until she finds a can of Coors Light. “This piss it is, then.”

Raven grins and taps her cup against the can. “Cheers.”

There’s a loud cheer from the next room and Anya peers around the doorway, but can’t see what’s happening through the mass of people.

“That’s the beer pong,” Raven mutters into the rim of her cup. “Ontari is murdering everyone.”

Anya grins and leans her back against the counter. “Let me guess. Math wasn’t enough to save you from inevitable defeat.”

Raven scoffs. “The math was perfect. It was the… execution that was a little off.”

“Sounds like an excuse.”

“Whatever.” Raven lifts her cup in Anya’s direction. “Like you could do better.”

She shrugs. “Not my game.”

“Beer pong is everyone’s game.”

“No.”

“Sounds like an excuse.” Raven smirks and shoves at her shoulder.

Anya laughs, this light feathery sound she’s not sure has ever left her body before. “Fine. Next game then. But you’re on my team.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Raven crosses her arms. “We’re gonna take those bitches down, you’ll see.”

“Sure,” Anya agrees.

“You’ll see,” Raven repeats.

//

An hour and an embarrassing game later, they’ve lost by three cups.

“I told you it wasn’t my game,” Anya mutters as Ontari and Monroe chest bump, their gloating cheers ringing in her ears. “You have to know the limits of your skills. We should’ve challenged them to Rage Cage.”

“Ugh I hate them.” Raven downs the rest of her drink. “I need a refill.” She moves toward the kitchen, calling a “stop bragging bitches!” over her shoulder. Anya follows if only to make space for Clarke and Bellamy, who’ve stepped up to challenge the reigning champs.

“You want some?” Raven asks, holding out her now full cup as Anya meets her in the kitchen.

Anya shakes her head. “Nah. I’m driving.”

“You gotta be about that Uber life like us.”

“Next time, I guess.”

Raven looks at her, her gaze lingering on Anya’s face. Anya doesn’t know if it’s the beer she had, warm and heavy inside her, but her stomach squeezes uncomfortably.

“Do you think we’ll win this year?” Raven asks after a moment, effectively halting the unsettling feeling growing in Anya’s chest from the staring.

Anya leans on the same counter she’d been against before with a shrug. “Will we? I don’t know. Can we? Yeah.”

Raven hums. “Lexa pitched well to Clarke today.”

“She always pitches well.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah.”

Raven leans on the island across from her, her boots settling in the space between Anya’s, not quite touching, but still there. “Where is Lexa anyway?”

“Babysitting, I guess.”

“She does that a lot.”

Anya shrugs. “Well, she’s responsible for him.”

“Seems like a hard way to spend your time in college. Doesn’t she hate missing out on stuff like this?”

She raises an eyebrow. “I dunno. Why don’t you ask her?”

“I don’t really get the feeling that’d go over so well,” Raven says.

Anya shrugs again, studying Raven. She takes in the way her fingers clench around her cup and how the ends of her ponytail fall over her shoulder as she shifts her weight. The way Raven’s eyes unflinchingly stare back at her, making her outsides still and her insides shudder, like she can feel every small detail of this moment seeping into her bones.

Raven looks at her, her face turning thoughtful for the briefest of moments, and Anya wants to know what she’s thinking. If she’s thinking of Lexa or the party or softball or her satellite project. Or if maybe she’s thinking about this moment like Anya is, about a feeling in her chest or words she should say or if she’s noticing that their feet have slid closer together on the tile floor, the toes of their shoes touching.

She wants to know if Raven can see right through her.

If she were to reach out with her fingers and smooth the crinkle between her eyebrows, would Raven move away or would she smile the smile that’s lodged itself deep inside Anya's chest in a place she keeps feelings that seem too big to be real?

She feels her fingers twitch like they might move to find out the answer, and her lungs inhale a shuddery breath she doesn’t mean to take.

“TAKE THAT ONTARI! THAT’S WHAT’S UP BITCH!”

They both flinch and turn to look toward the other room. Octavia has her hands in the air doing a celebratory dance and Clarke is on Bellamy’s back, her index finger holding up a number one.

“We win!”

Raven laughs as Clarke hops off Bellamy’s back and Octavia pounds his shoulder. Clarke comes sliding into the kitchen and Raven high-fives her. Then she spins to look at Anya, her eyes shining and cheeks red.

“Oh my God, you’re here.”

Anya raises an eyebrow and glances over at Raven before looking back at Clarke. “She said hi to you twenty minutes ago, Clarke,” Raven says.

“That was before we beat them.” Clarke puts her hands on Anya’s shoulders. “Is Lexa here?”

“No.”

Clarke frowns, her fingers squeezing tight on Anya’s arms. “She should be here. We _won_ today.”

Anya looks at Raven again and they both bite back a smile. “We did. But she couldn’t come.”

“Hmm.” Clarke looks put off for a moment, then her eyes widen. “We should _call_ her.”

“What?” Clarke’s hands leave her shoulders and Anya’s eyes narrow when she sees her swiping at her phone screen. “What are you doing?”

Clarke looks at her like she’s dumb. “Calling Lexa and telling her to come over here.”

Anya snatches the phone from her hands. “No, she’s sleeping.”

“Who can sleep when we just beat Ontari and Monroe at beer pong?”

Raven puts her arm around Clarke’s waist. “She didn’t know you won because she’s sleeping, drunkie.”

“It’s only midnight. She’s not sleeping.”

“And how would you know that?” Raven gives her a look.

Clarke grabs for her phone, but Anya holds it out of reach. “I’ve texted her at midnight before.”

Anya smirks. “Didn’t know Lexa was into booty calls.”

“Not like that.” Clarke crosses her arms, expression turning petulant. “Just like, you know. About stuff and things.”

“Uh huh,” Raven grins in Anya’s direction. “Stuff and things.”

“Can I have my phone back?”

Anya shakes her head and gives Clarke a little push toward the bottled waters on the counter. “No. But you can have one of those waters.”

“You guys can’t do this, you know. I’m like… in charge. Of my body.”

Raven opens one of the bottles and hands it to her. “Well your body wants water, Princess.”

Clarke scowls, but takes a sip of the water. “I hate that name.”

“Too bad.”

“You know Lexa never calls me that. I should call her. And thank her.”

“You’re not calling anyone. Because you’re drunk,” Anya says at the same time Raven says, “No, you’re drunk, bitch.”

Clarke crinkles her nose in suspicion, the hand holding the water bottle gesturing between the two of them. A little bit of water sloshes onto the floor. “What is this?”

Raven takes the water from her hands and screws the cap back on. “What is what?”

“This… thing happening. You two.”

Anya feels her stomach drop. “What?”

Raven shoots Clarke a confused look. “What are you talking about, Clarke?”

“The beer pong, the synchronized disapproval. The handshake.” Clarke narrows her eyes. “The talking.”

Raven leans her head back in an exaggerated laugh. “Ugh I know, _talking._ How could we, Anya?”

Anya grins at her. “Me? Talking to her? Sounds fake.”

“That was unnecessary,” Raven scoffs.

“Not my problem, nerd.”

“Oh my God, we’ve established we’re both – ”

“Bickering.” Clarke interrupts. “You’re both bickering.” Then she groans and slides to the floor, her back coming to rest against the cabinets. “Shit. I’m drunk.”

 

Raven flings her hands in the air and Anya laughs. “Maybe we should take her home?” Anya suggests.

Raven nods. “Yeah, alright. Let me find O so we can call the Uber.”

“I can drive you,” Anya offers. “I just had the one.”

Raven pauses. “You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, let me tell Octavia, though.”

Raven disappears into the other room and Anya reaches her hand down to help Clarke up. “Clarke we’re going home.”

Clarke grabs her hand and lets Anya pull her so she’s upright and leaning against the counter. “My home or your home?”

“Your home.”

“Okay. That’s nice of you. I knew you were nice.”

Anya just stares at her, unimpressed, until Raven comes back and tells them that Octavia is going to Lincoln’s. They say goodbye to everyone at the party, or at least Clarke does, and Anya mostly just nods in their direction. Then they’re piling into Anya’s car, Clarke in the passenger seat and Raven behind her.

Raven gives her directions to their apartment, and Anya follows them inside, making sure Clarke gets to her room okay. Then she grins and hands Raven Clarke’s phone.

“Might wanna just keep this until she passes out.”

Raven nods gratefully. “Yeah. If it wasn’t Lexa she called, it’d probably be Finn.”

“Finn?”

Raven crinkles her nose, glancing away. “This boy we both dated in high school.”

“Didn’t work out?”

“In so many words, no, not really.”

Anya waits, but Raven doesn’t elaborate. Instead she grabs a beer from the fridge and holds it in Anya’s direction. “It’s still kind of early, you want to watch a movie or something?”

Anya hesitates, but it is still early, and Raven is smiling that smile and she probably should wait until Clarke falls asleep, if only if to make sure she doesn’t get her phone to call Lexa.

“Yeah, okay.” She takes the beer from Raven’s hand. “As long we don’t watch something lame.”

“Ha.” Raven gets herself a beer and a bag of Doritos, then leads Anya down a short hallway off the kitchen to her room. “I don’t do anything lame.”

“Losing at beer pong is kind of lame.”

Raven sends a grin over her shoulder. “Well then you’re lame, too.” She shakes her head and sets her food on her bedside table. “You want some other pants or something? Last year’s team sweats were a little long on me, they’d probably fit.”

“Sure. Thanks.”

Raven digs in a drawer before tossing Anya a pair of black pants, POLIS SOFTBALL printed in block letters down the legs.  “Make yourself comfy. You can change in here,” Raven says. “I gotta pee before we start.”

Anya rolls her eyes as Raven steps out of the room. “Good to know.”

She exchanges her jeans for the sweats and leaves them and her leather jacket next to the door. Then she perches on the edge of Raven’s bed, looking around the room. Tools, and metal parts, and circuit boards like the one Raven had at the coffee shop clutter her desk. There’s a poster for _The Matrix_ on one wall, and a framed piece of paper on the opposite one. Anya gets up, moving closer. She grins when she sees it actually is a framed print-out of a Carrie Fisher tweet.

“Nerd,” she whispers.

“Hey, don’t hate.” Raven walks back into the room, having changed into her own pair of sweats.

“Wouldn’t dare.”

Raven grabs her laptop from her backpack and sets it on her bed, opening up the lid. Then she shuts off the lights and crawls on top of the covers. “You coming or what?”

Anya eyes the bed dubiously. “That thing won’t blow up will it?”

Raven rolls her eyes, the glow from the laptop casting blue light on her face. “Well if it does, you won’t know.”

“Mhmm.” Anya shakes her head and sits on the bed, leaning her back against the wall. “So what are we watching?”

Raven pulls up Netflix. “You ever seen _The X Files?_ ”

“No.”

Raven’s eyes widen and she immediately clicks on it from her ‘continue watching’ tab. Anya notices she’s on season five. “You like aliens?”

“They’re fine.” She looks Raven in the semi-darkness. “Have you watched it before or are you just on season five?”

“Anya please,” Raven scoffs and starts the show from the beginning. “I’ve seen the whole thing like ten times.”

Anya raises her eyebrows in Raven’s direction. “Why is this not surprising?”

Raven sighs, and pauses the video. “You know when something is both so good and so bad and you love it and hate it at the same time?”

“I guess.”

“Good.” Raven points to the screen. “Now be quiet and watch.”

Anya smiles slightly, slumping further into the pillow behind her. “Alright, no need to get pushy.”

“It’s my entire life. I’m going to get pushy.”

Raven grins at her and pushes play, and Anya tries to pay attention to the screen and not to Raven’s leg pressing against her own, or how Raven’s hair tickles her cheek sometimes when she moves, or how Raven smells like Jasper’s fruit punch and some kind of flowery body wash.

Soon she gets sucked into the show and finishes her beer, and they’re three episodes in and Mulder’s already gone off on about five rants about UFOs. Raven’s theorizing out loud like she hasn’t seen the show before and Anya feels warm and at ease, and she falls asleep.

//

Anya thinks there’s a certain feeling of surrealism when you wake up somewhere you’ve never woken up before, in a place you never meant to fall asleep.

She blinks open her eyes and the tilt of the room is as if she’s still in a dream, all soft edges and inverted corners. But she’s not in a dream and she recognizes the poster on the wall, the cluttered desk in the corner. The sharp angle of a shoulder digs into her cheek. She breathes herself awake, a heavy exhale that warms her nose as it’s muffled by the soft material of Raven’s shirt.

Anya sits up and pulls away, her fingers untangling from between Raven’s where they must have drifted while they were sleeping. Anya wakes the tingling nerves, clenching her fingers in and out, uncertain whether that feeling seeping into her chest is anxiety or a warm anticipation.

Raven shifts her position against the wall and she doesn’t look comfortable, but she’s still sleeping. The light from the dawning sun washes out the room, casting Raven’s body half in shadow.

She’s beautiful and calm in a way Anya’s never seen her.

She doesn’t know what to do with this information.

Only a moment has passed, and Anya realizes they fell asleep watching TV and she should probably go. She scoots off the bed as quietly as she can, but Raven stirs, her body angling itself in Anya’s direction, fingers reaching out softly.

She murmurs something incoherent before opening her eyes just the slightest amount. “Hmm. Did we fall asleep?”

“Yeah,” Anya says as lowly as possible. “It’s fine, go back to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow at practice.”

“Mmm. Kay. Drive safe.”

“Okay.” She smiles a little to herself and carefully takes Raven’s open laptop off the bed, its screen now dark. She eases it shut and sets it on Raven’s cluttered desk. Then she grabs her jeans and slips on her jacket before shutting the door to Raven’s room behind her.

The apartment is quiet and Anya leaves without having to talk to anyone. She makes it home a few minutes later and tries to slip in unnoticed, but when you live with a thirteen year old, such things rarely happen.

Aden glances at her from his place on the couch when she walks in the door. “Where were _you_?”

Anya shrugs and slumps down next to him, leaning her back against the arm of the couch and tucking her feet up. “Fell asleep at a friend’s.”

“Oh, whose?”

“Someone from the team.”

“Who?”

Anya rolls her eyes and picks up the second controller. “Go to multiplayer,” she says. “It was just Raven.”

“Oh,” Aden says, navigating the menu and starting a new game. “Do you like her?”

Anya shoves at him with her feet. “We just fell asleep watching TV, perv.”

He laughs and swats at her. “Shut up, I’m not a perv. It’s okay to like people.”

“How would you know?”

“Em-why-oh-bee, Anya.”

Anya laughs and jams the toggle on her controller forward as the game starts on screen. “You serious? MYOB? _You_ mind _your_ own business, nerd.”

His character comes under fire and takes a kill shot on screen. He huffs in frustration. “I just was asking. Raven said I should ask questions. So do you like her or what?”

“I don’t have to tell you.”

“That means you do.”

“No, it means I don’t have to tell you.”

She finds where he respawned and throws a grenade near his character, causing him to hiss out a swear followed by exaggerated coughing as if she wouldn’t notice it. He moves his character in time to prevent getting blown up.

Her smirks at her in victory as if she still won’t kick his prepubescent ass. “She’s smart,” he says. “And cool. And nice. What’s not to like?”

“Why don’t you date her then?”

He looks at her, scandalized, and she takes the moment to shoot at him again. “Dude, she’s, like, old.” She laughs as he tries to shoot her and misses. “Don’t be gross.”

“Yeah, whatever. So she’s smart and cool and pretty, what about it?”

He glances at her. “Pretty.”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“You said it, not me.” He grins at her. “You _like_ her.”

Anya scoffs, feeling her stomach squeeze uncomfortably. “Oh my god, you are such a twelve year old boy.”

“I’m thirteen. And. You. Like. Her.” He punctuates every word with a shot to her character’s head and she dies spectacularly.

“Fuck.” She respawns and targets him on the field map, deciding he’s going down. “Shut up.”

“HA! You didn’t deny it.”

She tracks him down until she finds him and starts shooting him, but he hides behind some ancient ruins. “Oh my god, die!”

“You like her, admit it.”

“You’re so annoying.” She tries to get a better angle at shooting him, but he’s covered and she’s taking fire from her other side by some player on his team. She goes after them instead.

“And you like her.”

She ignores him and throws another grenade that blows up near his teammates. Then she turns back around and starts shooting the column he’s behind again. “Will you quit hiding, you wuss?”

“Not ‘til you admit you like Raven.” He laughs as she tries to shoot him again and wastes the last of her good ammo. She reluctantly switches back to her default gun.

“Ugh, fine! I like her, so what?”

“Knew it.” Then he steps out and hits her with a machine gun she didn’t know he had picked up.

“Dammit.” She dies immediately. “Ugh fuck you.”

He grins and she lets her controller hit the floor, choosing instead to bash him over the head with a decorative pillow. “Ah,” he screeches. “Anya stop!” He laughs and she hits him harder until he’s screaming at the top of his lungs.

Lexa glides down the stairs and Anya barely catches her eye roll before Aden manages to hit her back. “Can I not have one morning of peace?”

“No!” She and Aden yell at the same.

Then Anya hits him again, right in his cute face.

“Suck it, tiny nerd.”

//

Gina texts them all later like the team mom she is, and Anya’s phone blows up from the group chat.

**Gina Boobeena**

Did everyone get home okay? How’d everyone sleep

**Monroe**

Ontari stayed at our place and is currently hugging the toilet

**O**

lolololol KARMA

**O**

And I stayed at Lincoln’s we all good here

**Luna**

We made it back too

**HARPER**

Good on my end (except for Ontari HOGGING! THE! BATHROOM!!!!)

**Ontari**

uhg leav me alone

**R-Money**

Princess and I made it back too. Slept great.

Anya stares at that for a long time, trying to decide if she’s reading into it of if it means something. Eventually she just sighs and types a response, resigned to knowing that for her, it kinda does.

**Anyaaaassss**

Yeah. Me too

//

The rugby girls are back when Anya enters the athletic room in the library on Monday. They stare at her as she makes her way to Raven’s table and sits down.

Anya rolls her eyes.

“Here are your pants,” she grumbles, setting Raven’s borrowed sweats on top of her notebook. “I washed them.”

Raven shoves them into her backpack, her head tilting Anya’s direction in acknowledgment. “Thanks. You could’ve just given them to me at practice, you know.”

Anya shrugs and takes her laptop out of her backpack. “I have a paper draft due. Figured I’d come in here and get it done before practice.”

She’s going to try out this library thing. She can focus in here. It shouldn’t be that hard.

“Okay.” Raven smiles at her, her pencil tapping gently against the tabletop. “That’s cool.”

She goes back to her textbook and Anya looks at her while her computer starts up. Raven has her hair down today, the soft ends falling over one shoulder, and she’s dressed professionally, in a blazer and nice blouse.

“Why are you dressed like that?”

“Hmm?” Raven glances up, then down at her clothes. “Oh.” She rolls her eyes. “I had a presentation today for that project I was telling you about. The one with the satellite. It was for this committee thing and like, this program board was there, and some investors for it or whatever? I don’t really know. I had to dress nice.”

“Huh.” Anya nods, impressed. “That’s pretty important, right?”

“Yeah,” Raven raises her eyebrows and turns back to her work. “I’m kind of a big deal.”

Anya eyes her again for a second, taking in the unusualness of this professional look. It’s kind of out of place on Raven. And still kind of nice. She looks nice.

“Well, you look nice.”

Raven waves a hand in acknowledgement and Anya goes back to her laptop. She works on her paper for a little bit, but she keeps getting stuck on this one transition, and Raven won’t stop tapping her pencil against the table, and she kind of wants to scream.

She reaches across the table, grabbing Raven’s wrist. “Stop tapping that. I can’t think.”

Raven stares down at her hand and Anya lets go. “Sorry. Bad habit.”

“Well lose it or I’ll never be able to work in here again.”

Raven grins at that. “But we’ve just started to gain numbers to take it over from the soccer girls’ jurisdiction.”

Anya glances over Raven’s shoulder at the girls in question. Some of them are working, some of them are talking to each other. One is watching Netflix.

“Rugby,” Anya corrects.

Raven lifts an eyebrow. “Either way. You can’t leave me alone with them. I’ve grown accustomed to your presence and your absence could really affect my grades.”

“Right.” She leans her cheek in her hand, glancing back at the rugby tables again. “I’m sure my total combined two hours in this room have really made an impact.”

“Do you wanna risk finding out though?” Raven’s smile seeps into Anya’s chest warmly. “What if I lose my academic scholarship?”

“Somehow, I can’t imagine you’d let that happen.”

Raven leans forward and taps her pencil on the back of Anya’s hand. “Do you want to test it, though? Seems unwise. Do you want that on your conscience?”

“Stop tapping your pencil and we won’t have to find out.”

Raven gives the pencil another purposeful tap and Anya scowls. Then Raven laughs and goes back to her work. Anya stares back down at her paper.

They’re good for another few minutes, then…

_Tap._

If they weren’t in the library, Anya’s sure she would’ve screamed.

//

She keeps going back, learns to ignore the constant sounds of the library. She becomes better at working in non-isolation. She gets used to the rugby girls and their commandeering of all the tables. She gets used to the whispers. She gets used to the constant scraping of chairs.

She doesn’t get used to Raven’s tapping.

“Stop tapping that.”

“Sorry.”

…

“I will break that pencil.”

“I can’t help it.”

…

“I’m going to leave.”

“No you aren’t.”

Every day, the tapping continues.

Every day, Anya returns.

//

At first she doesn’t know why she keeps going back, but, soon enough, she does.

Raven is, for lack of a potentially less embarrassing word, contagious.

Anya finds herself getting caught up in the little things. It’s in the way Raven slouches when she’s had a bad day, the way she smiles at Anya every time she walks in, the way she touches Anya’s hand when she wants her attention.

It’s in the way she shares her peanut butter crackers when Anya forgot to eat anything more than an apple that day. The way Raven says her name, a smile in her voice every time. It’s the way that Raven looks at her like she’s made of the clearest glass, like Anya is translucent in everything she says and does, like Raven can see right through her.

It leaves her feeling unsettled and uncertain, agonizing over every look Raven gives her, the measured ones, the playful ones, the open ones, the ones that feel as if Raven is tapping on her chest as much as the table, tapping away until Anya is certain one day, the pane of glass between her and her feelings will crack under the pressure of keeping them hidden.

//

They play like shit in their next fall games.

They manage to scrape by with two wins and two losses, but Anya thinks they got lucky.

She plays okay, takes a few walks, hits a double and a homerun, but she strikes out a few times, too. In one agonizing at-bat, she gets called on to bunt and pops it up to the pitcher for an out. Octavia barely dives back to first in time to prevent a double play.

She’s frustrated with herself, and she’s not the only one.

Ontari’s playing like her glove has a hole in it and Raven hasn’t been on base since their first game.

The season won’t technically start until the spring, so Anya’s not worried, but if this shit continues into their regular schedule, they don’t stand a chance at winning that championship in June.

//

Sometimes, when Anya thinks Raven can see right through her, she wonders what Raven is thinking.

Anya catches her staring in the library, her pencil paused halfway to the table, mid-tap. She looks at Anya like a complicated math problem, one she’s _this close_ to solving, if she could only figure out that final variable, that last unknown component.

Raven’s always nudging her under the library table, grinning at her knowingly in practice. She texts her on days Anya can’t make it to the library, complaining about how loud one of the rugby girls is tapping her fingers against the table and how much Anya would hate it, but not to worry, Raven’s tapping back just as loudly to get back at her. For Anya’s sake, she says.

Some days, Anya gets to the library and finds a cappuccino waiting in her usual seat across from Raven.

She thinks something’s happening between them, growing like flowers in a space so unexpected Anya hadn’t even considered that something _could_ grow there.

When Raven looks at her, Anya feels potential and possibility and anticipation expand in her chest, making way for something else.

Making way for something bigger.

//

The Friday before their last autumn games finds her in the spot in the library she’s now come to think of as her own.

Raven’s across from her, working on something for some astro-physics-something-whatever that Anya can’t even begin to understand. Anya’s working on some Ovid translations, wishing she had never decided to take Latin poetry because it sucks major ass.

Raven’s tapping her pencil, making Anya want to reach over and snap it in half, but suddenly it stops. “Dammit,” Raven whispers, and Anya looks up in time to see her shaking it in front of her angrily. “Out of lead again.”

“You know, you’d think after this happening so often, you’d really just bring more lead,” Anya suggests, lips quirking up in a smile when Raven flips her off. “Or just use pen.”

Raven playfully glares at her. “Fuck off.”

“Hmm. Touchy.”

Raven rolls her eyes and tosses her pencil down on her notebook, looking over her shoulder at the rugby table. Anya digs in her bag before Raven gets a chance to stand up, and slides a package of new mechanical pencils across the table.

Raven stares, then lets out an exaggerated gasp. “Anya. For _me_?”

“Well one of us has to keep up with your bad habits. The lead is probably breaking into tiny pieces because you tap the pencil so goddamn much.”

Raven holds the package to her chest. “You _do_ care,” she whispers dramatically. “I knew it.”

Anya bites back her smile, scowling down into her book. “It’s for your own good. So you no longer have to talk to the rugby girls.”

“Oh.” Raven glances over at them again with a smirk. “But they’re nice.”

“They stare at me every time you go talk to them.”

“They’re cute.”

Anya’s scowl turns serious. “They’re cute, but they’re boring.”

“You wouldn’t know,” Raven says. “You never talk to them.”

Anya rolls her eyes. “I’ve made out with like three of them.”

Raven stares at her. “What?”

 “What?”

“When?”

Anya shrugs. “I don’t know, like last year? I was friends with some people who were invited to the rugby parties.”

Raven frowns. “So you made out with them and they’ve been sitting over this whole semester and you haven’t said anything?”

“What would I say?”

“I don’t know,” Raven snaps in a frustrated whisper, angry in a way Anya’s only seen her on the field. She leans back. “Maybe that they’re always staring at you because you had a thing with them?”

Anya blinks, taken aback. “So what? I made out with them. I didn’t date them. I told you. They’re boring.”

“Boring.”

“Yeah?”

Raven snorts out a sarcastic laugh. “Great.” She flips her notebook shut and shoves everything in her bag, standing up quickly.

“Where are you going?”

Raven grunts. “Late lunch with Octavia in the caf. See you later.”

And then she’s gone, leaving a stormy feeling brewing in Anya’s chest and an awkward bitterness in the air.

Anya glances over to see the rugby girls staring at her.

She scowls.

//

Raven practically ignores her all practice and through the games the next day.

She doesn’t know what she did, but her patience for it is unimaginably low, especially as they lose the games and everyone starts fighting.

Anya so does not have the energy for this.

When Clarke suggests they do some “team bonding” bullshit later that evening, she begrudgingly agrees. The team dynamic is fucked, and if they don’t fix it, they’re in for a rough rest of the year, and frankly, Anya doesn’t have the stamina to tolerate that kind of drama for that long.

And if it helps her figure out what Raven’s beef is, well, that’s just an added bonus.

//

The supposed “team bonding” is at the haunted corn maze, which is pretty much up Anya’s alley anyway, so she’s barely even annoyed.

Lexa, on the other hand, practically throws a rantrum (rant tantrum, it’s a thing) the entire twenty minute drive to the place, scoffing about Clarke this, Clarke that. Anya rolls her eyes, but sits the whole drive in silence, because if there’s one thing she’s pretty sure of, Lexa has it painfully bad for Clarke and this is all probably just a façade to cover the fact that she’s not into people chasing her around with chainsaws.

Not that Anya is, but like, it’s fake, and she digs the adrenaline.

The line to get in the maze is long, and Anya’s “barely annoyed” status is quickly turning into “irritated beyond belief” status as she listens to half of them complain about the cold and the other half complain about being forced to be there the entire time they’re waiting in line.

She can deal with most of her teammates on the field, and she can deal with some of them off the field, but it’s quickly becoming clear she’s not so great at dealing with _all of them_ bitching at the same time on any occasion, ever.

She almost internally panics when the guy taking the tickets tells them they have to split up and Raven suggests they go in pairs. She doesn’t want to get stuck in a pair with someone she can’t stand (cough, Ontari), but she also doesn’t want to get stuck with Lexa and her barely concealed fear of the chainsaw that rips through the air every minute or so.

For someone who has it together all the time, you’d really think that girl could get a grip right now.

Basically the only other choice she’s willing to make here is Raven, which incidentally would probably be her first choice anyway, if Raven hadn’t been avoiding her the past two days like Anya had a contagious disease.

Well, desperate times, desperate measures.

“Fine, if we’re doing this, let’s do it.” And she grabs Raven by the wrist and pulls her into the maze.

Some guy in a Freddy mask jumps out at them and Anya laughs.

“Nice one,” she tells him.

He gives her a thumbs up and she grins. Next to her, Raven scoffs and takes off into the maze. “Hurry up,” she calls back. “I’m not losing this shit.”

Anya follows after her, but Raven’s being, well, _Raven_ , and stays one-step in front of her the whole time. It’s not long before Anya’s had enough of _that_ , and grabs her by the arm. “Raven.”

“What,” Raven snaps, spinning around to face her. A few teens push by them and Anya’s forced into Raven’s space.

“What is your problem with me right now?”

Raven crosses her arms. “I don’t have a problem.”

“Cut the crap.” She tilts her head to the side and looks Raven in the eye. “You’re pissed at me and I want to know why.”

Raven juts her chin higher, and Anya at least is familiar with this, with the defiant stance and the defensive downturn of her mouth. She’s seen it on the field, if not directed at her, and this at least makes sense.

“You know why.”

Or maybe it doesn’t. “No. I don’t.”

They lock eyes, and Anya refuses to look away. She doesn’t like this and she’s going to fix it whether Raven wants to or not.

Raven grits her teeth before she draws in a breath and her shoulders relax. “Why are we doing this?”

“Doing what? We’re bonding or whatever.”

“Not that. This.” Raven gestures between them. “You like me.” Anya stares at her, unsure of what to say, her heart pounding just a little too forcefully to be comfortable. A few aisles away, someone screams, and then Gina and Octavia come running back their direction, loudly screeching.

“Out of the way, losers!” Octavia yells, and the two of them disappear around the corner.

 Raven scowls and Anya rolls her eyes. She grabs Raven by the hand again, their fingers weaving together, and pulls her off the main path they’re on and into a section of corn that probably wasn’t supposed to be a path, but someone didn’t care about rules and jammed their way through anyway.

It’s quieter and they’re alone, but it’s darker. She can feel Raven’s breath on her cheek.

Raven’s still expecting an answer and Anya twists her lips before sighing. “Okay, so I like you,” she admits.  “Why are you pissed at me?”

“Well I don’t want to be liked, then ditched for being boring like your rugby friends,” Raven mutters, one hand slung across her waist, the other still loosely holding Anya’s.

Anya feels her mouth thin. “That’s not fair.”

Raven shrugs. “Sure it is. Seems like a valid implication to me.”

“It’s different.”

“Why would it be?”

“Because Raven,” Anya insists. “It just is.”

“How?”

Raven makes a noise of disbelief and Anya wants to throw her hands in the air, wants to make her understand. She could shake her.

She tightens her hold on Raven’s hand instead. “Because you’re amazing. And smart. And beautiful.” Raven stares at her, eyes turning deeper in the darkness. “And – fuck it.”

Anya releases Raven’s fingers, both of her hands coming up to cup under Raven’s jaw instead, and she touches their lips together. Raven’s cheeks are cold, but her lips are warm, and she exhales against Anya in surprise.

Then her hands grip Anya’s jacket, pulling her closer. Her lips are soft and gentle and Anya feels half dizzy. She leans back.

Raven’s just looking at her, eyes searching her face, and Anya feels again and again like she’s always been made of glass, and finally something inside of her has completely shattered, pushed away to make room for something bigger.

It feels like a new beginning, important and full of meaning, and it has the echo of Raven’s touch woven in and out of it.

“It’s just different,” she says, kind of lamely, but Raven’s fingers have moved from her jacket to resting on her collarbone and she kind of can’t breathe so, like. Whatever.

“You forgot hilarious and awesome,” Raven smirks. It drives Anya crazy.

“And annoying.”

Raven scoffs and pulls away, but Anya follows her, her front against Raven’s, Raven’s back against the corn. “Can you not be mad at me now? I respect your feelings, but it’s unfounded, and we could be kissing instead.” She rests her nose against Raven’s hairline, and Raven softens. Her fingers crawl up Anya’s neck and she feels Raven’s smile against her cheek.

“I guess.” She leans back and looks Anya in the eye. “If you buy me some M&Ms when we get out of this maze.”

“Hmm. Deal.”

Raven smiles and leans forward, pressing her lips to Anya’s. Her fingers slide behind Anya’s ears, into her hair, and she deepens the kiss.

Anya feels the shattered pieces inside her come together, and she feels full and whole and happy.

//

They aren’t the first ones out of the maze, but they also aren’t the last, so Raven pulls her to the concession stand around the corner. She won’t stop teasing Anya about being a sap, and Anya pretends to be annoyed, but Raven knows she isn’t, which almost makes it worse.

They sit on the bench outside the maze exit, sharing the M&Ms and hot chocolate Anya bought, and Ontari keeps eyeing them weird, but Anya doesn’t even care.

They’re trying to toss M&Ms into each other’s mouths when Clarke and Lexa finally emerge from the exit, chased out by the chainsaw guy, and Anya full-on laughs out loud at how pale Lexa is and how wide her eyes are. Clarke shares a knowingly look with her and drops Lexa’s hand.

Eventually they all make it out of the maze, and Ontari won’t stop bragging, and it’s annoying as shit, but Anya doesn’t really care because when they part ways, Raven says she’ll text her later. And it’s just all good stuff. Great stuff, even.

“Why are you so… smiley?” Lexa asks her on the drive home and Anya doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t quite want to share her happiness yet.

“Just glad I don’t have to buy anyone dinner,” she says after a second, and Lexa nods like she understands and goes off on another rant about how juvenile the masked chainsaw murderer trope is, and Anya smiles and smiles and doesn’t even mind.

//

Raven isn’t in the library the next Monday and Anya immediately thinks it means she fucked up, misread that situation, and Raven is avoiding her.

Then she gets a text.

**Raven (1:07pm):** art and architecture section. row 7

Anya exits the athletic study room, deep in thought, trying to remember where the hell the art and architecture section is. She’s not sure she’s ever been in it.

She considers asking one of the librarians to point her in the right direction, but they seem busy and Anya isn’t really into asking librarians (or anyone really) for help, so she wanders throughout the library, weaving her way through room after room, section after section.

She finally finds the right place ten minutes later, tucked in a room off of another room. It’s quiet, like a library is supposed to be, and Anya wonders why she doesn’t do her work _here_ , where she could actually get something done.

She makes her way by a few empty tables and down the aisle, passing row after row. She takes a few steps into the seventh one, but finds it empty.

**Anya (1:20pm):** i’m here where are you

Then a book crashes to the floor behind her and she spins around in alarm. She hears the quiet muffling of laughter and peers through the gap in the shelf.

Raven’s eyes stare back.

“Anya. Hey,” she whispers. “You’re in the wrong aisle.”

Anya frowns, her heart still racing. “You said row seven,” she whispers back.

“You’re in row six.”

“No, I’m in row seven.”

“ _I’m_ in row seven.”

“You’re in row eight.”

Raven’s eyes turn to the side like she’s looking down the row. Then they disappear completely.

“Raven?”

She hears footsteps and then Raven appears in her row. “Fine,” she huffs as she gets closer. “I was in row eight.”

Anya just stares at her, taking in her baggy jeans and red jacket, her confident stance, her smile, lopsided but happy, like she has a secret. It fills her with happiness, and everything in Anya desires to lean in closer, to grab Raven’s hand, to be caught up in things that are too big for this moment.

She leans her shoulder against the shelf instead. “What are we doing here?”

“Well _I_ had to check out a book from here,” Raven says and adjusts her backpack on her shoulders. “And you’re here because you’ve got it bad for me, obviously.”

Anya rolls her eyes. “Is that how it is now?”

“Mm, yeah.” Raven grins, her fingers coming out to tug on the zipper of Anya’s jacket. “But full disclosure…” she steps closer, coming up on her tiptoes so her nose brushes Anya’s. “It’s mutual.”

And Anya knows she shouldn’t be surprised, she’s felt it building between them all semester, but it still makes her heart drop out of her chest and she inhales deeply to balance the feeling.

“Good to know.” And she’s sure her voice would crack if they weren’t whispering.

She can feel Raven’s smile against her lips, and then they’re kissing, slow and gentle. Anya suddenly feels like she has the patience to kiss Raven like this for a lifetime, just as long as they don’t stop. It makes her toes tingle and her hands find Raven’s hips, the straps of her backpack brushing Anya’s wrists.

She has the off-kilter sensation of thinking for the first time in her life that something is _cute_ and her chest almost explodes with the feeling.

Raven leans back after a moment, landing flat-footed on the tile of the floor. She grins up at Anya, all too pleased with herself, and Anya’s entire body vibrates with happiness.

“Come over later,” Raven murmurs, her hands flattening over Anya’s collar bones.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Raven smirks, taking a step back and starting to walk backward away from her. “We can watch _The X Files_.” She shoots Anya an exaggerated wink as she gets to the end of the row.

Anya frowns. “Is that code for something? What does that mean?”

“It means there are ten seasons and you’re only on episode four and this is completely unacceptable. Obviously.” Then Raven grins, salutes, and turns the corner. “See you later,” Anya hears her call in a loud whisper.

She stands there for a moment in stunned silence until a librarian walks past the row and gives Anya a suspicious look for just standing there.

She spins on her heel and makes her way back out of the stacks, warmth and happiness filling her chest.

//

**Anya (2:02pm):** Can’t believe I got lost in the library for you to just kiss me for 30 seconds and then leave

**Raven (2:04pm):** Well I wanted to see you, but I’m a busy woman

**Anya (2:06pm):** I won’t just do anything you want you know. I have standards

**Raven (2:09pm):** Sure. So see you at my place tonight?

**Anya (2:10pm):** Yeah

//

She goes to Raven’s later. Clarke is at the gym and Octavia’s at Lincoln’s, but they shut themselves in Raven’s room anyway.

Turns out “watching _The X Files_ ” was code for watching one episode and then making out for an hour, Raven on top of her, Anya’s hands crawling under her shirt.

Anya doesn’t want to get in too deep too early, but she’s pretty sure when Raven smiles at her, she feels happier than any person on the planet has ever felt in the entire history of the universe.

//

They pass November in much the same way, and sometimes it feels like they’re moving too quickly and sometimes it feels like they’re moving too slowly.

It drives Anya crazy.

“What are you doing this weekend?” Raven asks her late in November, just after Thanksgiving has passed and December’s appeared on the horizon.

They’re in Raven’s bed watching _The X Files_ (they made it to season two), and Raven’s in a softball hoodie and her underwear, head on Anya’s lap. Anya thinks it could be something out of a dream she never imagined could be reality, but she’s running her fingers over the shell of Raven’s ear and she feels Raven’s breath on her thigh and it’s real. It’s real as fuck.

“Hopefully this?” Anya says, trailing her fingers through Raven’s hair. “Why?”

Raven turns so she’s on her back, her eyes staring up at Anya, and Anya’s chest is shattering and rebuilding, over and over again. “Will you come to this luncheon thing with me on Saturday?”

“Yeah.”

Raven frowns, her eyebrows coming together in confusion. “Yeah? That’s it? No questions asked? No ‘what’s it for’ or ‘why’?”

Anya purses her lips. “Do you want me to go?”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” she shrugs. “Then I will.”

Raven stares at her for a moment, her eyes narrowing the slightest amount before she smiles. “Okay.” She reaches behind her and closes the laptop.

“Uh,” Anya gets out as Raven turns over and crawls on Anya’s lap. “Okay.” Her hands land on Raven’s back as Raven kisses her. It’s sloppy and quick and Anya laughs into Raven’s mouth.

“You can laugh now,” Raven murmurs, moving up her neck. “But the lunch is with a bunch of engineering dudes, and you’ll be bored out of your mind.”

Anya hums, tilting her head to the side as Raven kisses deeper. “Well, will you be there?”

“Obviously.”

“Then I’m sure I won’t be bored.”

Raven snorts, her lips coming back around to hover over Anya’s. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“What are you going to wear?” She shifts up to kiss Raven’s lips, but Raven leans back.

“This lame red dress.”

“Sounds great.”

She reaches up again, but Raven hovers just out of reach, and she smirks. “That’s gay.”

“It’d be gayer if we were _kissing_.”

“Hmm.” Raven smiles and finally kisses her, her fingers slipping under Anya’s tank top. “It’d be gayer if we were doing it.”

Anya scrunches her nose in a smile, biting at Raven’s lower lip. “Aren’t you bi?”

Raven’s nose nudges against her own. “Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Take your shirt off?”

“Kay.”

“And the pants?”

“I’m not wearing any from earlier.”

“Oh yeah. Nice.”

Anya laughs, and Raven kisses her, and she shivers.

//

The luncheon is in honor of Raven’s satellite project being approved for full-on funding and Anya actually is really bored.

It’s a bunch of science people, and money people, and education people, and they’re saying a lot of things that go so far over Anya’s head they might as well already be in space.

Still. It’s Raven, one other girl, and like eight guys, and Raven makes the rest of them look like Oscar the Grouch. It’s not mean, it’s just a fact, and like, Raven is her… her… person, or whatever. So like, she can say that stuff and not feel like a sap right?

All the members of the team get up on stage and talk about their specialty and contribution to the project and when it’s Raven’s turn, Anya can barely breathe.

Raven smiles at the people in attendance and does her little speech and Anya thinks her chest might implode, she’s never felt so much pride for another person before.

Just as she’s about to get off the stage, Raven grins in her direction, and Anya knows then… she’s a goner.

//

She’s not sure if they’re dating, but they basically are, or at least Anya thinks so, but she’s never really done the girlfriend thing before so she has no clue what that means.

She doesn’t want to ask, though, because what if Raven says no, and then they have to play out the rest of the year until Anya graduates as friends?

Anya’s not a coward, and she knows she could just ask someone, Lexa, or Clarke or _someone_ if not Raven, but she also knows a good thing when she sees one, and she’s not ready to look the gift horse in the mouth just yet.

Fucking sue her.

//

Anya gets so caught up in spending time with Raven and going to the gym and doing her schoolwork that some things start to slip through the cracks.

“Anya,” Lexa corners her one morning as she’s getting ready for class. “I need to talk to you.”

She looks up from where she’s sliding on her boots. “Everything okay?”

Lexa tilts her head, eyes taking on that steely look she gets sometimes that means she’s probably been thinking about something way too much.

“With me, yes.” She takes a step into Anya’s room and crosses her arms. “But not with Aden.”

Anya freezes, a sinking, panicky feeling striking her in the stomach. “Is he okay? What’s wrong?”

“He’s fine,” Lexa assures her. “It’s just that you’ve been gone a lot. If it was me, I wouldn’t mind. Things happen and we’re busy. You have other people and things in your life. But you’re his friend and he looks up to you. I think he feels like he isn’t a priority to you right now.”

She frowns, shame seeping into her chest. “Shit.” Lexa just stares at her and the shame spreads. She fucked up and she knows it. “He is a priority to me. You know that.”

“I do,” Lexa says, thinning her lips. “But I’m not the one who needs to know.” Anya frowns and Lexa squeezes her shoulder. “Just maybe reassure him you’re busy right now. He’ll understand. I’m just looking out for him.”

Anya nods. She knows this. Lexa would do anything for that kid. So would she. She’s just been… preoccupied.

“I’ll be home this weekend,” she decides. “Tomorrow night. It’s Friday. I’ll make it up to him.”

Lexa squeezes her shoulder again and steps back. “I just wanted to let you know.”

“Tomorrow,” Anya reaffirms. “I’m here.”

Lexa smiles and leaves her to finish getting ready. She knows they’re good, but a feeling of guilt follows her around the rest of the day.

//

“Stop tapping that,” Anya snaps for probably the thousandth time since the semester started.

Raven sighs and rolls her eyes and it wouldn’t bother Anya that much, but it’s almost finals and she’s stressed.

She grits her teeth and thinks maybe she should finish her essay at home. “You’re driving me crazy,” she mutters.

Raven raises her eyebrows, but doesn’t look up from her textbook. “You can work somewhere else you know. It won’t offend me.”

Anya says nothing and a minute later, the tapping continues. Anya considers what would happen if she snatched the pencil from Raven’s hand and flung it across the room.

She curls her toes, trying to keep her irritation in.

“Will you chill?” Raven mutters, and Anya glances up to see Raven looking at her. “You’re squeezing the table like it murdered your family.”

Anya immediately relaxes her hand from its grip on the edge of the table. She sighs. “Sorry. Today just sucks.”

“What’s wrong?”

Anya shrugs and tries to stop her hands from clenching in her lap. “Lexa made me feel like shit for not hanging out with Aden lately.”

“Oh.” Raven purses her lips and looks back to her textbook, idly flipping to the next page. “Well why doesn’t she bring him around the rest of us? We could all hang out. It’d be fine.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Why not?”

Anya frowns. “It just isn’t.”

Raven rolls her eyes and taps her pencil some more. “I don’t understand her.”

Her irritation flares. “Well, have you ever tried? Have you ever hung out with her?”

“No,” Raven scoffs, suddenly defensive. “But it’s not like she’s ever tried to hang out with me. Octavia’s invited her to things and she’s been a bitch about it.”

Anya stills, feeling herself turning icy. “Wow, okay.” She closes her laptop quietly, her hands steadying.

“Okay, I didn’t mean it like that,” Raven backtracks, setting down her pencil. _Finally_ , Anya thinks.

“How did you mean it then?”

“Just that she blows us off every time, and you know it. What’s her problem with us?”

She slides her laptop into her bag and zips it up. “Did you think for one second that maybe it has nothing to do with how much she does or doesn’t like you? That maybe she has other things on her plate than getting wasted playing fucking beer pong?” She stands up and grabs her backpack. “I have to finish this paper. We can talk about this later.”

Raven juts her chin higher and grabs her pencil from the table. “Fine. Whatever.”

Anger pulses just beneath her skin, but she hesitates. “I’ll see you later.”

“Alright,” Raven snaps, waving her off. “Finish your paper.”

The rugby girls stare at her as she stomps off, but she honestly doesn’t give a fuck.

//

She locks herself in her room to finish her paper and catch up on some reading, then she passes out. She sleeps fitfully, waking up every few hours and groaning as she rolls over, hoping she’ll fall asleep and stay asleep, but she never really does and she’s exhausted the next day.

It makes her classes pass by slower than she thought was possible. She’s irritated and she skips her library session, hoping she’ll avoid fighting with Raven.

She stews in her room instead, waiting until Aden gets home and she can at least kick his ass in video games and eat too many nachos.

She’s sitting on her bed, trying to decide if she should go to the gym now or just hit it extra hard tomorrow, when her phone vibrates. She grabs it to see an incoming call from Raven.

Raven never really calls, Anya’s not even sure they’ve ever spoken on the phone before, and she purses her lips in curiosity. She picks up the call.

“Hello?”

_“Hey_ ,” Raven says. _“Are you busy?”_

Her voice sounds weird, too low or something, and Anya frowns. “No. What’s wrong?”

_“Nothing. Can you come over?”_

“Yeah,” Anya assures her. “Be there in a bit.”

There’s a short pause and then – “ _Okay. Thanks. See you soon.”_

She grabs her keys and glances at the clock, noting that she still has an hour or so until Aden gets home from school. Then she’s in her car, willing all the lights to turn green just a little faster and all the cars on the road to go at least go the damn speed limit.

She knocks when she gets there, but nobody answers, so she lets herself in. Octavia and Clarke seem to be out again, so she breezes through the apartment and knocks on Raven’s bedroom door.

“Raven?”

“Yeah?”

She opens the door, peering into the room to see if something’s wrong, but Raven’s just lying in her bed under the covers, her laptop open in front of her. Anya recognizes Scully’s voice fizzing through the speakers. She steps into the room and closes the door behind her.

She knows they’re sort of fighting, kind of, maybe, at least a little bit, but she can tell something else is wrong when she sits on the edge of the bed and Raven doesn’t look at her.

Anya doesn’t know what to say, has never had to navigate this terrain before. Uncertainty slips in and out of her chest as she breathes. “Didn’t we just watch this episode?” Anya asks as she registers what’s happening on the screen.

“Yeah,” Raven murmurs, her face pressed into her comforter. “Didn’t want you to miss one.”

And suddenly she doesn’t feel so awkward anymore, and she doesn’t know what’s wrong or how to fix it, but she knows it’ll be okay.

She slips off her shoes and crawls under the covers. Raven’s cold feet push up against her and she lets Raven bury them in the space between her calves.

Anya’s pretty sure Raven isn’t going to tell her anything if she asks what’s wrong so she just settles in to watch, thinking maybe Raven just wants to be close to her. The thought is comforting, even if she wants to see Raven smile.

“Did you get your paper done?” Raven hums into her shoulder after they’ve watched half an episode.

“Yeah.” She shifts so she can look at Raven, rolling so she’s slightly on her side. “Sorry I snapped at you.”

“Sorry I was a bitch.” Anya can’t help it, she snorts out a laugh. Raven smiles into her skin. “No listen. I’m serious. You’re right. Lexa’s like your best friend, I shouldn’t have said those things.”

Anya runs her finger over the crease between Raven’s eyebrows. “You could come over, you know. Get to know her off the field. She’s not as uptight as you think she is.”

Raven doesn’t say anything right away and Anya waits. The episode plays on. Raven blinks slowly.

“Do you think she’d be okay with that?” Raven lifts herself up on her elbow so she’s staring at Anya more fully.

Anya shrugs. “Well you could ask her.”

Raven frowns, the wrinkles over her nose deepening. “Yeah,” she sighs out. “Maybe.”

“Okay,” Anya concedes. She slides her arm behind Raven and pushes at her back until Raven slumps back down, her cheek pressing into Anya’s chest. She wants to tell Raven she missed her but the words keep getting stuck in her throat.

She rubs her thumb over the skin of Raven’s hip bone instead, appreciating the way Raven sinks into her deeper, her breath coming out slow and full against Anya’s shirt.

“My mom called today.”

Raven’s nose presses into her chest and Anya pauses. She knows Raven has an issue with her mom in the way that everyone on the team knows _of_ everyone’s business, but doesn’t really know anything _about_ that business.

Meaning, she knows something’s up, but she doesn’t know what or why.

“Oh,” she murmurs, uncertain of what to say. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Raven shrugs, but her fingers start to tap on Anya’s stomach. “She’s pissed I’m going to Octavia’s for Christmas.”

Anya makes a noncommittal sound, not sure if she should ask why Raven’s not going home or if that’s pushing some kind of boundary. She waits.

Raven’s tapping quickens. “We’ve never had a good holiday so I don’t know why she cares.” Raven sighs, her legs shifting uncomfortably against Anya’s under the covers. “She just drinks, and we fight, and she cries and drinks some more, and then I leave and we stay pissed at each other until the next time I come back and it starts over.”

Anger ignites in her stomach and she bites her lip to keep from saying something she might regret. It’s not her place to tell Raven her opinion about her mom. At least not right now.

“You shouldn’t do something you don’t want to do,” she says instead, squeezing Raven’s hip. “Don’t go if you don’t want to go.”

“I know.” Raven takes her eyes off from the screen finally, shifting to look up at Anya. “I just feel like a bitch.”

“You’re not,” Anya insists.

Raven smiles a little at that. “Says you.”

“Yeah, and I think you’re great.”

Raven rolls her eyes, her fingers coming up to lightly push at Anya’s cheek. “Oh my God, don’t.”

“What? I do.” She grabs Raven’s fingers with her free hand, pulling them back down. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing. You’re just a total sap.”

“Because I think you’re great?”

Raven laughs, this low thing deep in her belly that Anya feels against her own. “Yeah. And because you’re looking at me like a total cheese ball right now.”

Anya scoffs, forcing herself to look less… however she just looked a second ago. “No.”

Raven squeezes her hand, her smile growing. “Uh. Yeah.”

“I’ll leave,” she threatens, but Raven just laughs.

“No, you won’t.”

She pauses. “Actually… I promised Lexa I would hang with Aden later.”

Raven’s eyes widen. “You didn’t ditch him to come here, did you?”

Anya shakes her head. “He’s at school until four.”

“Oh. I was about to feel so guilty.” She huffs. “Now I’m just jealous. Cockblocked by a twelve year old.”

Anya grins. “He’s thirteen.”

“Whatever.” Raven rolls off of her, untangling her legs and letting go of Anya’s hand. “Go have fun coloring or whatever it is you do with a middle schooler.”

Anya sits up from the pillows and rolls her eyes. “Kick his ass at video games and stuff our faces with junk food.”

“Huh.” Raven tilts her head to the side. “That sounds fun.”

“You could come.”

Raven shakes her head. “Not this time. You go. Have fun. Eat junk food. Destroy his boyish ego.” She pushes at Anya with a laugh and Anya complies, sliding out from under the covers.

“You wanna get coffee tomorrow?” She asks as she’s sliding on her boots.

“Yeah,” Raven agrees, clicking out of _The X Files_ on her Netflix account and searching for something else. “I’ll pick you up.”

“Okay. Text me then.”

“Okay.” She’s already slumped back into her pillow nest and Anya leans over the bed and presses her lips to Raven’s. Raven hums and Anya starts to deepen the kiss, her body buzzing with happiness, but Raven pushes at her, laughing. “Oh my God, leave before you’re stuck here for another hour and I’m the one who caused you to disappoint a thirteen year old.”

Anya smiles and steps back. “Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yep. Tomorrow.”

Anya hesitates another second, but then she leaves, closing the door behind her.

//

She dominates Aden in three different games and they eat too much pizza and totally get yelled at by Lexa for overdoing it when she gets back from the gym.

Whatever, Anya thinks, as Aden smiles conspiratorially at her when Lexa goes off on a rant about the effects of violence and junk food on kids.

Worth it.

//

Raven picks her up mid-morning to get coffee, silent and broody in that way she is before she’s had her caffeine. They sit in almost-silence the entire drive to the café, broken only by the small exhalations of breath Raven takes every so often that come off more like grunts and definitely don’t pass for anything resembling actual words. She leans into Anya’s side while they’re in line and hums out the smallest “thanks” after Anya pays.

Anya thinks it’s cute, but she wouldn’t dare say so even if Raven had had ten cups of coffee.

They slide into a booth by the door and eventually Raven settles into her usual energy. They talk about her satellite project and their individual practice sessions with Indra and Gina’s recent fight with Bellamy that the team won’t stop gossiping about.

She’s kind of afraid to wish for it, in case she jinxes it or something else as lamely superstitious, but she hopes that more Saturdays like this are in her future, easy and peaceful and shared with Raven.

Raven has to study for her upcoming final exams and Anya has two final papers to write, so they don’t stay long. Anya’s never been particularly great with words, but she’s confident in what she likes and who she is, so she grabs Raven’s hand across the center console on the drive back, even though she knows Raven will probably tease her about it.

“God, you’re such a closet softie,” Raven grins, but she settles their hands over the gear shift so they’re in a more comfortable position.

“I’m closet free since 2008, actually.”

“Huh.” Raven glances at her. “And how that’d go?”

Anya shrugs. “Fine. Small towns can be unforgiving sometimes, but it’s short-lived.” Anya rolls her eyes. “They just like to gossip, but once something new comes along they move on.”

“You’re from Michigan, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you miss it?”

Anya twists her lips, thinking. “Not really. That lifestyle is for some people, but I wanted to leave.”

Raven makes a noise of understanding. “Do you think you’ll go back?”

She pauses, and the moment weighs on her, heavy and full of implication she isn’t sure she’s not making up in her head. “No,” she says. “Not permanently, but my parents are still there.”

Raven squeezes her hand and pulls up to the curb outside her house. She parks the car and looks over at Anya, lips turning down in a frown. Anya doesn’t know what to expect.

There are so many thing she wants in this moment, but she doesn’t know how to ask for them.

“What are you doing after you graduate?” Raven asks, and Anya stills.

“I’m not sure. I guess I haven’t thought about it much.” Raven twists her lips, hiding back a smile, and Anya feels her own smile creeping up on her. “Why are you smiling like that?”

Raven shrugs, her free hand tapping on the steering wheel, eyes watching Anya. “Everyone is always freaking about that stuff and you just, like, didn’t even bother to think about it.”

“Oh.” She scrunches her nose. “Well, what’s coming is coming. Why worry?”

Raven laughs in disbelief. “Because it’s your future, nerd.”

“It’ll work out. That stuff always does.”

Raven shakes her head, smile growing. “How are you like that?”

Anya lifts one of her shoulders in a shrug. “I grew up in a small town, remember? Life is slow there. Stress is small. Things work out.”

“I guess. It’s kind of unsettling.”

“What is?”

“I dunno,” Raven shrugs. “The patience.” She rolls her eyes at herself. “You.”

“Ouch.”

Raven leans across the console into Anya’s space. “No. It’s nice.”

“Was that a compliment?” Anya quirks an eyebrow, fingers coming up to poke at Raven’s cheek.

“Maybe.”

“Wait, let me mark this down in my calendar.”

Raven scoffs, but she’s laughing. “Shut up.”

Anya smiles, a softness filling her, and she presser her lips to Raven’s. Raven hums against her mouth, low and happy, and she leans into Anya more, practically crawling over the middle console before she’s jerked back.

“Fucking seatbelt,” she grumbles into Anya’s mouth, and Anya laughs, letting go of Raven’s hand to reach between them and press the release button. The buckle slides up between them awkwardly and Raven pulls back.

“Oh,” she says, and Anya opens her eyes, her nose brushing Raven’s cheek. Raven’s looking away from her, staring out of the windshield, and Anya follows her gaze.

Her heart practically leaps out of her chest in surprise.

“Aden!” She huffs, watching as the kid stares at them with wide eyes, his baseball mitt tucked under his arm as he stands in the middle of the front yard.

Raven sits back in her own seat, starting to laugh.

“Shut up.” She pushes at Raven’s shoulder. “It’s not funny.”

“Cockblocked by the kid again.” She rolls down her window. Heat slides up Anya’s neck and into her face as Raven yells out at him. “Hey, Aden!” Raven lifts her hand out of the window and waves.

Aden waves back. “Uh. Hey, Raven.”

“What’s up, dude?”

Anya kind of wants to die. He’s basically her little brother. “Nothing,” he calls back. “What’s up with… uh. Never mind.” He makes eye contact with Anya and she pinches the bridge of her nose.

“I’ll talk to you later,” she murmurs, her fingers reaching for the door handle.

Raven grins. “Yeah. Have fun with that.”

“Shut up,” she says again. Raven’s laughter grows louder and Anya slams the car door behind her. Raven lifts her hand in a wave as she drives off.

Anya steps into the yard and Aden smirks at her. “So she likes you back, that’s good.”

Anya scowls at him. “Don’t test me, kid.”

“Is she a good kisser?”

“Can you not be twelve for just this one moment?”

He sticks his tongue out. “I’m thirteen.”

“I hate everything,” she mutters to herself, willing her embarrassment to go away.

“I can’t wait to tell Lexa,” Aden laughs out loud, free and all too overjoyed at the idea.

Anya marches up to him, using her height to intimidate him. At least she hopes. “Do not tell her.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Anya huffs, shoving lightly at his shoulder. “That would suck.”

He tilts his head to the side and Anya knows he understands what she means. “Well why haven’t you?”

She shrugs. “Because I didn’t know what was happening yet. But now I do.”

“Are you going to tell her?”

Anya nods. “Yeah.”

“When?”

“I don’t know.” She thins her lips, thinking. “After finals I guess. This week at some point.”

Aden hums, his head nodding in acceptance. “Okay. Ew I can’t believe Raven likes you.”

“Oh my God, shut up.”

“I totally have blackmail against you.”

Anya stares at him. “You’re kind of evil, what the fuck.”

He smirks. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“No.”

“Blackmail.”

“I hate you.”

He grins, grabbing her arm and pulling her inside. “I get to pick, and I’m making it something you’re going to hate.”

She glares. “Who raised you?”

He just laughs and pushes her one the couch before going to pick out a movie.

//

He makes her watch _Love, Actually_.

She hates rom-coms and he knows it.

He shoots her a shit-eating grin the entire movie.

//

**Raven (3:46pm):** How’d it go with the kid?

**Anya (3:54pm):** He’s blackmailing me until I tell Lexa

**Raven (3:57pm):** HAHA savage

**Anya (4:00pm):** ** (Reversed Hand With Middle Finger Extended ≊ Middle Finger) **

//

Her finals go okay.

She finishes her papers and turns them in, pretty much over it by this point in the semester. Her Latin exam is hell and by the time she’s done, she feels like she just fought her way through a nuclear apocalypse.

She can’t wait for winter break.

//

Raven has roommate-Christmas with Clarke and Octavia, so she’s chilling at home and completely destroying Aden in Halo when Lexa walks in, looking like she’s seen a ghost.

“What’s wrong with you?” She asks, watching as Lexa stares at the screen, not even taking in the disgusting display of Aden being massacred that’s happening on screen.

Aden glances over the couch, eyebrows shooting up in curiosity. “Ooh, Lex, who got you a present?”

“Oh,” Lexa says, her voice far away. “Clarke.”

Anya smirks. “Clarke.”

Lexa shoots daggers at her, but lets Aden look at the present anyway. It’s this totally cheesy painting of a heart that Anya takes to mean Clarke is probably whipped.

Aden agrees. “Clarke has a crush on you.”

“Aden!” Lexa hisses and Anya laughs. “And what would you know about that?”

“I would give that to Sam if I’d thought of it,” Aden shrugs and Anya shares a look with Lexa.

“Who’s Sam? Your girlfriend?” And she’s mostly kidding, but when he mutters out a “well, not yet” she stares at him in disbelief.

She is so going to kill him for blackmailing her, that little hypocrite.

He goes off on something about Anya embarrassing him, which is completely bogus, but whatever.

“I’ve never embarrassed Lexa in front of Clarke,” Anya argues.

“That’s because I’m incapable of embarrassment.”

Anya rolls her eyes. “What about that time you choked on your Gatorade in front of Costia and I offered to give you mouth-to-mouth and you shoved me off of you?”

Lexa scoffs. “I was fine.”

“Ha,” Aden laughs, his smirk turning in Anya’s direction. “Don’t worry, Lex, Anya’s just teasing because she doesn’t want you to find out about Raven.”

Anya wonders if this is some kind of sick revenge for beating him in Halo. She gapes at him.

“What?” Lexa says, turning her gaze from Aden to Anya.

“Aden!” She’s going to kill him. Not really. But kind of. She lunges at him and he screeches and jumps out of the way.

“I saw them kissing!” He yells, moving around the couch and hiding behind Lexa.

She scrambles after him.

“Kissing?” Lexa asks, and Anya can’t see her expression, too busy trying to tickle the shit out of the little traitor, but she imagines it’s not thrilled.

“Making out. In Raven’s car.” Aden leaps out the way of her hands again and she grabs at his arm.

She digs her fingers into his side and he gasps out a laugh. “I said I was going to tell her.”

“Can someone please explain what’s happening?” Lexa demands, her arms coming out between them, like that’s gonna stop Anya’s revenge.

“Raven and I are dating.”

“Dating?”

At that Anya smiles, feeling it involuntarily take over her face. “Yeah. I think.”

Lexa stares at her. “You think?”

She frowns. “Well we’ve been seeing each other since Halloween. But I dunno. We haven’t really talked about it.”

“Ask her out,” Aden suggests. Anya sticks her tongue out at him immaturely, but whatever.

“You ask Sam out.”

“Fine, I will if you ask out Raven.”

She grunts. “Fine.”

“Yeah,” Lexa agrees, smiling like she’s been pod-peopled or something. Anya stares. “You should do it now.”

Anya narrows her eyes suspiciously. “Right now?”

Aden gasps. “Go to her house! Like in that movie!”

“ _Love, Actually?_ ” Anya wonders if she’s fallen into an alternate dimension.

“Yes!”

Lexa laughs. “Since when do you watch rom-coms?”

Anya scowls. “Aden made me.”

“Go to her house!” Aden yells again.

“I’m with him,” Lexa agrees.

What the fuck.

Then she thinks about it, and you know what, why not? If she and Raven aren’t dating, then what are they doing? Anya’s not a coward, and Raven is amazing, and she clearly is into Anya. Why shouldn’t she go over there?

“Yeah,” she nods. “Okay, I will.”

“Nice,” Aden whoops. He tosses her keys at her and she manages to snag them out of the air.

Anya grabs her coat off the back off the couch. “I’ll be back then.”

“Have fun making out!” Aden yells.

She’s still so going to kill him.

//

Anya tries to think of what exactly she’s going to say while she’s driving over there, but it’s all starting to sound like a bad rom-com in her head. She never should have watched that ridiculous movie.

Stupid Aden.

The lights in the front window of the apartment are on when she gets there, and her stomach squeezes, nervous in a way she hasn’t really felt before.

She knocks. Then she knocks again for good measure.

She thinks she hears someone yell something, and then the door opens and Raven’s right there. She’s in a baggy t-shirt and her long sweatpants and her hair is up. She’s so pretty Anya forgets what she was going to say.

“Hey,” she gets out instead.

Raven stares at her. “Anya?”

“Yeah.” She clears her throat. “Uh. I need to ask you something.”

“Right now?”

“Yes, listen,” she hurries out because the words feel like they’re going to explode from her chest if she waits another second to say them. “I think we should date. Officially.”

There’s a rustling from somewhere behind the door, but Anya just watches Raven, unable to take her eyes off her as she waits for an answer. Raven just gapes at her and Anya’s not sure if that’s a good sign or not. Maybe she shouldn’t have shown up out of the blue like this.

“You’re a pain in my ass,” Anya says, if only to get a reaction out of Raven, and it kind of works. Raven’s chin tilts up, affronted and defensive. Anya smiles. “You drive me insane. But we have a good time together. And I think you’re great.”

Raven scoffs. “Excuse me? You’re the pain in the ass here.”

Anya huffs. “You never stop tapping your pencil! It’s distracting to everyone.”

“Nobody ever complained,” Raven grumbles, but she’s starting to smile.

“ _I did_.”

Raven throws her hands in the air. “I told you a million times you could study somewhere else.”

She pauses, rocking forward slightly on her toes. “Well. I didn’t want to.”

Raven smiles, wide and genuine, and something clicks inside Anya, knowing she’s the reason for it.

“Um. What the hell?”

Anya freezes, her eyes narrowing as Raven turns around and Octavia and Clarke come into view, clearly having been eavesdropping. Clarke waves at her awkwardly.

“Anya and I are dating,” Raven declares, and the words make Anya’s stomach drop. “We have been for a little while.”

Octavia sputters something unintelligible. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Well we were just feeling it out. But I guess…” Raven looks back at her, then grabs her arm and pulls her fully into the apartment. “Clarke, O, this is my girlfriend, Anya.”

They both say something in response but Anya only hears _girlfriend_. “Nice,” she whispers, and slings her arm over Raven’s shoulders. Raven tangles their fingers together. Octavia gapes.

“What the hell.”

“What Octavia means,” Clarke interjects. “Is that she’s happy you guys are together because she knows what it’s like to not know if the person you like is on the same page as you… right, O?”

Anya rolls her eyes. What an oblivious little hypocrite. “Whatever you say, Clarke.”

Clarke shoots her a questioning look, but Anya just smirks.

“Anyway,” Raven interrupts and starts to pull Anya toward her room. “We’ll be in my room. Don’t come in.”

The door shuts behind them and Raven lets go of her hand, turning to look at her.

Anya smirks. “Girlfriend.”

“Sap.”

She tugs on Raven’s hand until she steps closer, sliding her hands around Raven’s waist and under her shirt. She presses her nose into Raven’s cheek, grinning. “Hm. Girlfriend.”

“Oh my God, stop,” Raven scoffs, but she’s laughing and Anya knows it’s all for show. She drags her nose up to Raven’s ear, nuzzling closer, and Raven squirms. She leans her face back, keeping their bodies together, and reaches her hand up to cup under Anya’s jaw. “Stop it, you know Aunt Flo is here.”

Anya scrunches her nose and pushes them back toward Raven’s bed. “So? Does that mean I can’t kiss my _girlfriend_?”

Raven lands on the bed and scooches backward, bringing Anya with her as if she was going to let go. She wasn’t. “Why are you like this?”

“Because I like you.”

“Ugh, stop it.”

“No.”

Raven kisses her, hands behind her neck, pulling Anya on top of her. She sighs into Anya’s mouth, a happy, satisfied breath against her lips. They kiss for a while, and Anya’s heart feels too big for her chest. She pulls back.

Raven traces her finger across Anya’s jaw, eyes roaming over her face until Anya feels like she can’t breathe. Then she smirks. “Wanna watch _The X Files_?”

Anya rolls her eyes, but smiles. “Yeah.” She rolls off of Raven and settles next to her under the covers while Raven grabs her laptop and pulls up Netflix. “Hey,” she says, her arm sliding over Raven’s shoulder when Raven lays on her chest. “Did you know Lexa and Clarke have a thing?”

Raven glances up at her. “A thing? No, but I did know Clarke spends, like, basically all her time with her.”

“Well it’s not a thing _thing_.”

“Not like our thing?”

“Like our thing, but before our thing.”

Raven laughs. “Before the maze.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think it’ll become a thing _thing_?”

Anya shrugs. “I have no idea, but it’s more likely Lexa will never say anything and work herself into full on agony over it.”

Raven laughs at that. “Well Clarke is more likely to have a love confession thrown in her face and still have no idea someone likes her.” Raven rolls her eyes. “Aren’t you glad we’re not like that?”

“Yes.” She tangles her fingers with Raven’s. “Girlfriend.”

“Ew, it’s like I don’t even know you. Stop.”

Anya just laughs and uses her free hand to reach over Raven and press play on the laptop. “No.”

//

She goes back home for a week at Christmas. It’s cold and there are mounds of snow everywhere and she hangs out with her parents the entire time. It’s okay.

She misses Raven, but it’s hard not to when her parents keep asking about her. Sometimes she regrets telling them things about her life, but only because then they never stop bugging her about it.

“They want to meet you,” she tells Raven on Christmas when they’re Skyping in the afternoon. “And they won’t stop talking about it.”

Raven grins. “Are they like you? Are they broody? Are they tall? Are they hot?”

“Gross.”

“Are they nerds?”

Anya rolls her eyes. “They’re boring.” This whole place is boring.  She slumps in her desk chair, still in her old bedroom from when she lived here. She wants to go back. “I miss you.”

“Gross.” Raven scrunches her nose in disgust. “It’s been like 5 days.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey,” Raven says, leaning toward the camera. “Are you going to Harper and Monroe’s New Year’s Eve party?

Anya shrugs. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Wanna be my date?”

“Yeah.”

Raven beams, smile bright even through Skype and Anya’s shitty WiFi connection. “Nice.” Someone yells in the background of Raven’s screen and she frowns. “Crap, I have to go. Food is ready.”

“Okay. Talk later?”

“Yeah.”

“Bye,” Anya sighs.

“Wait!” Anya leans back, stopping her finger from ending the call as Raven waves her hand in front of the camera to get her attention. “Miss you too.” Raven grins. “Kay, now bye.”

Raven laughs once more and then the screen goes dark.

//

The party at Harper and Monroe’s is all the usual suspects.

It’s loud and there’s too much booze and Anya has yet to see Raven. She and Octavia didn’t get back until that morning, so they decided to just meet up at the party. She wasn’t there yet when Anya arrived, so she’s been passing the time playing King’s with a bunch of the team and a few of their guy friends.

By the time they’ve finished the third game, she’s drunk and she has to pee, so she waves off another game and heads to the bathroom. She shuts the door behind her, muffling a sudden outburst of cheering that explodes from down the hall. She looks at herself in the mirror, frowning.

Her eyeliner is smudged and her cheeks are red and she looks completely drunk. She pees and then fixes her eyeliner, before checking her phone to see if Raven texted her. Still nothing, so she steadies herself to go watch another game of King’s and not obsessively check her phone like a loser.

However, when she opens the door, someone has other plans.

“Hey,” Raven grins, pushing her back into the bathroom again. Anya’s heart flutters happily in her chest.

“Hey.” She smiles, her cheeks warming as Raven kicks the door shut. “You’re here.”

Raven looks her up and down, grinning as she takes in her appearance. “You’re drunk.”

“No.”

“Yeah.”

“Well.”

Raven laughs, grabbing Anya by her jacket and pulling her closer. “I love this jacket.”

“Me too.” Her eyelids flutter shut as Raven leans on her tip-toes and presses their lips together.

Someone knocks on the door and Raven huffs against her lips. “Go use the other one!” She calls before finding a place on Anya’s neck to suck on.

“Ow.” She scrunches her nose but tilts her head so Raven can continue. “Why?”

Raven hums against her neck before kissing her way down. Anya’s ninety percent sure she’s going to have a bruise. “Because you’re my hot girlfriend.”

Anya snorts. “Okay.”

“And I missed you.”

“Gross.”

“Shut up.” Raven uses her body to lean Anya up against the door. “Wanna do it in Harper’s bathroom?”

Anya laughs. “Is this the one Ontari threw up in? Because not really.”

“Ew, you’re so right.” Raven nudges their noses together, smiling, and contentment spreads throughout her body.

Anya shivers, goosebumps rising on her arms and heat creeping up her neck. “Actually – ”

“Maybe – ”

“Yeah.”

Raven laughs, and tickles her fingers just above the waist of Anya’s jeans until Anya feels like she might implode. She pushes Raven up against the sink instead and kisses her until they both can’t breathe.

And if anyone asks _Anya_ , that’s all that happened, and they most definitely did not do it in Harper’s bathroom.

//

“Hey did you just have sex in my bathroom,” Harper yells at them as they make their way back into the living room.

Raven smirks. “Yes.”

Harper groans.

//

Raven joins the King’s game after that, sitting on Anya’s lap and glaring at anyone who dares to look like they might even try to tease them about it.

Midnight creeps up on them, and as everyone counts down, Anya kisses Raven, a light feathery thing that has Raven grumbling and pulling her closer. There’s champagne and noisemakers and they’re all drunk, but nobody more so than Clarke, who passes out twenty minutes after midnight with a pair of Harper’s fuzzy green socks pulled up her arms for warmth.

Raven takes a picture and sends it to Anya, who sends it to Lexa because she feels kind of bad Lexa isn’t there. Clarke keeps pouting down at her phone and Anya’s sure she knows it’s because Lexa fell asleep and didn’t text her back.

The party ends a little after that, the designated drivers carting their drunk partners out of the apartment and the rest of them crashing on Harper and Monroe’s floor.

They pick a spot in front of the couch to lay down, her arm slung over Raven’s waist and her front to Raven’s back. Someone across the room starts snoring. Clarke mutters something from above her on the couch, and Raven sinks into her, and Anya drifts to sleep, her chest full of feelings bigger than she ever imagined she could possibly feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I dont know if there will be more updates at any point, but thank you anyway. Your kudos and comments and time spent reading are appreciated. You can reach me personally at emilyjunk.tumblr.com. Thank you again.


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